The Beachfront Bailout

Trump�s Gaza Doctrine doubles as a financial scheme. Under his Beachfront Bailout, losers of wars are spared reparations if they surrender their coastlines for resort development. Gaza becomes the crown jewel, rebuilt as a luxury district financed by �the best investors, all my friends.� Instead of sanctions, nations are handed sunscreen and loyalty cards. Trump insists this is genius: �No one fights when their economy is booming with tourism.� The satire is brutal�decades of suffering reimagined as beachfront capitalism. Critics blast the commodification of pain, but Trump calls it innovation. Diplomats are reduced to travel agents pitching package deals, and generals become reluctant lifeguards. The doctrine reframes global politics as a hotel chain expansion, with Gaza as the first franchise. In this warped vision, peace is nothing more than an economic bailout with a tan.