The Avengers Porn
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The Avengers Porn
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Don't Look Down (uncredited) Written by Nigel Butler Pedigree Cuts
By my reckoning the final DVD release from VIvid Enterainment (though the company lingers on via a website and providing X-level cable TV content) this belated follow-up to Axel Braun's 2012 ripoff of the Marvel franchise is bad beyond belief. Certainly the most overrated pornographer in Adult Cinema history, Braun muffs all possibilities of creating an interesting movie. His script co-authored by a fellow darling of the industry (Payola and having previously run AVN explain everything) Bryn Pryor, is disastrous: just a bunch of name-dropping of Marvel characters and lots of promises of action/drama that never occurs. Despite the customer-cheating gimmick of 2 DVD packaging, the show runs under 100 minutes long and the second disk contains a worthless BTS showing how crummy the shoot was, as well as trailers for other Braun/Vivid comix rip-offs and ancient house ads for Vivid products like lotions and plastic pussies, hopefully with a lengthy shelf life. Opening credits give Penny Pax as Mockingbird top billing, as she practices fighting technique with co-star Josh Rivers as Captain America. But Penny proves to have merely a NonSex cameo here, and is demoted to back of the bus billing among the femme talent by the time the end credits scroll along. Rivers delivers his lines flatly and is horrible, with Braun shooting his XXX sex scene with Jayden Jaymes (as Maria Hill) so incompetently that his face is never shown throughout the 10-minute (short by 21st Century standards) humping, reminding me of stunt-cock/body-double action back in the '70s. Even today's hackiest hack will show a full-body shot once in a while or otherwise establish that the performers we're watching have sex are indeed the stars listed in the credits and not ringers. Since this DVD is merely an exercise in cosplay, Braun adheres to having his girls generally fully clothed during sex so as to show off their costumes, with only the groin area exposed (like those "tear through the panties/body stocking" porn scenes of old). But he extends this gimmick to masks, so that Xander Corvus as Spider-Man/Venom might as well be a double during his sex bout with villainess Viper, well-played by Juelz Ventura. French actress Eva Karera as Red Guardian likewise hides behind a mask and never reveals her bountiful breasts in a tight red spandex outfit when she gets to have sex with Winter Soldier, sullenly played by Seth Gamble. Best scene, which caused me to leniently raise my IMDb rating of this clunker from 1 = Awful to 2 on the 10 point scale, has Lexington Steele returning as Nick Fury servicing with his big dick the unique performer Zoe Voss (as Wasp), an all-time favorite of mine and great to see back in action. She never removes her tight black leather costume, another demerit for the director. There's a boring flashback eating up much of the running time, where Eric Masterson as Hawkeye gets to have sex with big-fake-breasts Rikki Six as Ms. Marvel. Hardly anything happens by the end of this non-story, and the minimal SPFX and bits of action zip by in a few seconds of running time. Dumbest audience insult is when Jayden creates a Western saloon set within which to hump Captain America, explaining the scene by mentioning she had just watched "Deadwood". Entire farrago is shot indoors for a claustrophobic feel, and cameramen Pryor and Braun overuse closeups, a deadly failing pioneered in action films by the late Tony Scott.
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