The 13 Worst Company Names Imaginable

Today we look at some genuinely awful company names. Some are named after their owners, some have been devised(придуманный) with little thought, and a couple were trying to be too clever and failed.

1. Poopsies Pizza(Слово Poopsies в английском имеет два значения пупсик и какашка )

Poopsies is a pizza restaurant located in Massachusetts. Maybe they were going for a childish-type name to attract the young family market. Surely, though, when you are serving food, you don’t want the customer to think of number two.

3. Analtech

This Delaware company stuck with their unfortunate(неудачный) name for some time before they finally decided to move to a more appropriate(походящее) name. Miles Scientific sounds far more serious and authoritative — although they couldn’t fully part ways with their original name. It lives on in the header of their website.

4. oooooc.com

Sometimes you can just try way too hard. This internet startup thought they were smart with this name. In reality, this is one of the worst business names I have seen. It looks like the “o” on the keyboard was stuck.

Wanting to be known as Five OC, the social marketplace business was a Silicon Valley flop(провалился) and no longer exists. Except on lists like this.

5. Fuk Mi Sushi

This restaurant is based in Malaysia, where although English isn’t the native language, enough people speak it to realize what this name means.

I would be a little embarrassed(смущен) to answer the phone at this restaurant to take a customer's reservation.

6. Stubbs Prosthetics & Orthotics(stub - выкорчовывать)

Stubbs Prosthetics was started 40 years ago in Tennessee by William V. Stubbs, his wife Barbara A. Stubbs, and their son, W. Mark Stubbs. Like many family businesses, they decided to name the company after themselves.

It’s not a good fit, considering the product they are selling and what it is used for.

7. Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace

At first glance(взгляд), this name may sound OK. Perhaps it’s an old mom and pop diner run by the charming and friendly Sam and Ella in a small town in Ohio. It looks good on the sign and has family appeal. I’m sure their fried chicken is tasty.

Now read it quickly out aloud. What does it sound like? Perhaps a bacterial disease that is caught by eating contaminated(зараженный) food.

Salmonella.

Bet you still don’t feel like eating some of their chicken.

8. Amigone Funeral Home(похоронное бюро амигон)

Back in 1926, Daniel Amigone opened his business in Western New York. For a century, his family has offered funeral service.

It does seem an unintentionally(нечаянно) amusing name for a serious business. I am not sure if their clients — dead or alive — appreciate the name.(Дело в том что *Amigone* это название песни про суицид девушки, популярной в Америке группы The Goo Goo Dolls в которой есть слова "Ты жива? Амигона Чуда не произошло?" )

9. Cock Polishing Services(дело втом что Cock - это мужской половой орган)

This cleaning company is based in the U.K. I will give you one bit of advice here: I did a Google search to find this image. I wouldn’t recommend doing the same Google search at work.

13. Goin’ Postal

Many on this list fail due to unintentional smut or silly humor. This one is truly baffling. Just read the definition of what going postal means: “Going postal is an American English slang phrase referring to becoming extremely and uncontrollably angry, often to the point of violence, and usually in a workplace environment.”

How does a company think that term would make an excellent name for a business? Unlike most on this list, which are small businesses, this is quite a large company with locations across the U.S., and it even has franchise opportunities available.

Each year, on average, twelve people are killed in their workplace by a person described as “going postal.” This is just poor taste, in my opinion.