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11 Lies Thai Prostitutes Are Telling You


Last updated: May 8th, 2020
| in Thai Girls



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There are so many guys who believe all sorts of crap their Thai girlfriends are telling them. And more often than not that would be their Thai bar girlfriends . Yes that’s right, even though everyone seems to have heard and seen it all, there are and always will be guys who don’t notice the lies they’re being told by prostitutes all for the one short-term or long-term purpose of getting their money. And then at one point they fall in love with their hooker and stop even questioning things.
They think (and even say it aloud) that she’s different than the others, care about them and wouldn’t have any reason to tell them the untruth. Maybe it’s also the way they’re saying it, with a nice and charming smile on their face and the fact that their arguments and explanations are always convincing.
Here are 11 of the most common lies you get told by Thai prostitutes and if you hadn’t read this, you would probably believe it or not even think about that it could potentially be a lie:
1. Thai Prostitute doesn’t tell you her real name
Thai people only use nicknames in everyday life and so they would introduce themselves as Joy instead of Supaporn or sometimes a shortened version of their formal name, e.g. Nam or Fon instead of Namfon. These nicknames are usually given by their parents and never get changed – except in some occasions when they deal with Farangs. The other day I met a girl who introduced herself as Ploy (พลอย) and as I said oh that’s quite a common name isn’t it she said yes, and it’s also easier for Farangs to pronounce than her “real nickname” which is Bplʉ̂m (ปลื้ม). She wasn’t even a hooker, by the way.
2. Thai Prostitute doesn’t tell you where she’s really from
So now that you got her nickname, whether that’s the real one or just the one for Farangs, of course the second question is usually “where you from?”. So you tell her and throw back the ball asking her so where are you from? She laughs and says “haha, I’m from Thailand!” You smile and say you know that but which province. An estimated 70% of the bargirls are from the poor northern or northeastern provinces and sometimes, when they feel that you “know much” (rúu yǝ́, รู้เยอะ), they don’t want to admit that and just say Bangkok. Later when you find out that she’s really from Sisaket and confront her with it she might say something like that she misunderstood you and thought you were asking where she was living.
3. Thai Prostitute lies about how long she’s been working in the bar
Have you ever met a Thai girl who told you on the first night that she’d been working in the bar for more than three weeks? And that she likes it? If you did, you were probably lucky for her to be honest as you don’t seem like the typical gullible tourist to her. The girls know that Farangs like the idea of meeting an “innocent” girl who has just recently started working in the bar, so they don’t see her as the typical prostitute and start falling in love with her, paying her bar fine every night or even make her stop working at the bar at all and paying them a “salary” (ngǝn dʉan, เงินเดือน) every month. Here again, when the Farang finds out she’s been hooking for more than a couple of weeks her excuse would be that she worked at a different bar before or at the karaoke in her home town.
4. Thai Prostitute doesn’t know how much for the bar fine
She says no one’s paid her bar fine yet because of no. 3.
5. Thai Prostitute tells you her wrong age
We always admire how the girls here look younger than they actually are. And they know that – because we tell them. So she says she’s 23 when she really is 28. Bargirls usually think they will meet their customers only once and so it doesn’t matter if they lie about their age. Another thing worth mentioning here is that many bar girls have children and come to work in the bars because their Thai guys have left them. You wouldn’t usually assume she has a baby just by how young and cute she looks – until she comes out of the bathroom at your place and you discover the stretch marks on her stomach.
6. Thai Prostitute “no have boyfriend”
She says she doesn’t have a boyfriend which is usually another typical lie as she’s in a relationship with a Thai guy and even lives with him together. He doesn’t have a problem with her working in the bar and going for short time with customers, often he even tells her to do so and she would pay for his bills. These Thai guys usually don’t make much money, if they work at all they make less than 10,000 Baht a month and that’s clearly not sufficient to pay the installment for their nice motorbike (4,000-6,000 Baht a month), their smartphone, bottles of whiskeys and sometimes even drugs.
7. Thai Prostitute doesn’t feel well
You had a great night at her bar, paid for a lot of drinks and of course also her bar fine. You take her back to your hotel and after one hour of romancing, all of a sudden she starts coughing. “Mâi sàbai”, she says. Not feel well or how we would say: I’m sick. Strange you think, she was fine all night and seemed as active and talkative in the bar as usual. You suggest to walk with her to the pharmacy but she says no, it’s late already and she wants you to sleep. She will go back to her room and she got medicine there, too. “See you tomorrow na.” You’re still confused but don’t worry too much as you’re really tired and just agree. Do you even think about the possibility that this was her seventh lie this evening?
8. Thai Prostitute doesn’t let you see her room
After a few months seeing her and regularly paying her bar fine you probably want to know more about her private life. So you ask her if you can see her room on her day off. She says she is shy because her room is very small and dirty. Or it’s too far away. Or even in a dangerous area. But more typical these days is that she tells you she’s staying with her friend who doesn’t like her to bring men to the room. From my experience, in 50% of the cases this is true as they’re trying to split costs for the room rent, but at least in half of the cases it’s just another lie as she’s staying with her Thai boyfriend – or simply not interested in a “real” relationship with you.
9. Thai Prostitute “stop go with other Farang”
So one day you come to her bar and she’s not there. You ask one of the girls where she is and they say it’s her day off. The following day you ask her why she hasn’t told you that it was her day off, you two could have spent the whole day together. She says she only knows one day in advance when she got a day off. You ask her why she didn’t call you, she says telephone money finish. Two lies in a row, not uncommon.
A few days later your friend tells you he saw her going with another Farang the other day. You confront her with that and she says they only went for dinner. “He not boom boom me”, she says. “He old and lonely, we only eat together. Why you always think I lie? I love you. I have you, only one.”
Her brother is sick and needs to buy medicine. Her dad needs to pay a bill for fixing something in the house. Her friend wants to borrow some money, just until next week. And she kindly asks you for support because she “ no have money “. These stories might not always be a lie but sometimes it turns out that it’s not her dad in upcountry Isaan who needs the money, but her Thai boyfriend. Or the medicine that her brother needs isn’t actually her real brother but just a close friend of her and the medicine he so urgently needs is called ya-ba (yaa-bâa, ยาบ้า). If you find out later and confront her with it she might say: “I told you already. You never understand me.”
When a bargirl tells you that she “love you too much”, that’s not because of your character but because she appreciates your financial support. Never forget why these girls come to work in the bar in the first place: They do it because they want to earn money and not because they want to find the love of their lives. Sure they’d be happy to stop working if you take care of her and pay her a monthly salary so she’ll keep on telling you “I love you Teerak. Thank you for everything you do for me”. Just try and stop giving her money and ask her to take up a job in the mall, supermarket or cafe. Bar girls are lazy and once they got used to their lifestyle it’s very unlikely that they are willing to change it for you. Unless you find one who really just started working in the bar 2 weeks ago.
In the end it comes down to the thing that Thai prostitutes always try to tell you what you want to hear, rather than the truth which might often lead to conflicts and someone potentially lose face or in this case even worse (!) – missing out on potential money.

Ping pong show scam number one avoided. And since Sangsom is Thai rum (no good can come of that), we both ordered the draft beer, which regrettably was only slightly larger than a shot glass.
Seating was tiered colosseum-style, and for a moment, I thought there might be jousting. Or perhaps Romans thrown to the lions. Either of which would’ve probably been more entertaining. But instead of jousting sticks there were stripper poles. And instead of lions there were…cougars? I don’t really want to say cougars (although some of the female bar staff were certainly a bit long in the tooth) and actually most of the Thai girls performing that night were quite pretty.
Maybe kittens? Sex kittens? Too vulgar. Most of the girls were actually quite…sheepish. As sheepish as you can get shoving a goldfish up your vagina I suppose. So maybe sheep it is then. Seems appropriate maybe?
Posted by Raymond Walsh - May 24, 2016 | Category: Asia , Escapes , Thailand
Okay yes, I did go to a ping pong show in Thailand. Willingly.
My pal Matt from XpatMatt.com felt bad that he was deserting me in Rayong during my birthday, so he suggested we go out for a night on the town in Pattaya the week prior.
I replied, “Only if we go see a ping pong show.”
I couldn’t believe I actually uttered the words out loud. Outwardly I’d always been vocal about how disgusting and demeaning towards women these types of sex shows were, but secretly, well that was a different story. I always wanted to catch a glimpse of Thai girls doing vaginal acrobatics.
Plus being in Thailand and being surrounded by peculiar attractions , isn’t the next obvious step to go check one out? Purely for journalistic purposes of course. I never had the gumption to go by myself, now here was Matt, practically offering to be my guide through the seedy world of Pattaya’s nightlife. On my birthday. Somehow it all seemed appropriate.
Little did I know that I wouldn’t be the one blowing out the candles though. But more on that in a bit.
WARNING: The rest of the post contains some pretty graphic language about sex and sex workers. If that’s not your cup of tea, then how about some harmless salt and pepper shakers , or perhaps some cute little gophers instead.
Sad for a grown man I know, but there you have it. I am what I am.
For the uninitiated, a ping pong show is when a woman shoots ping pong balls out of her vagina. But wait…you see, it’s not limited to only ping pong balls. Oh no. The vadge is capable of so much more. It’s Ping Pong 2.0. All manner of articles can be inserted, retained, and ejected from the vaginal cavity. Darts, cigarettes, small animals — you name it. I’ve read that goldfish, frogs, and even gerbils have made their way onto the stage and into…well, you know where.
Ping pong shows are one of the more popular Pattaya attractions, and tourists come in droves to be disgusted, amused, and occasionally aroused at the marvels undertaken by the nether regions of Thai women. Although it may seem unusual to many Westerners, it’s pretty much a staple in Thailand nightlife. And I do consider myself to be open-minded, I mean, I have been kissed by a ladyboy in Koh Samui before. So there’s that.
Pattaya certainly lives up to its reputation as “Sex Capital of the World.” Most of the sex tourism that happens here is centred in and around Pattaya’s Walking Street (although there is another fairly large girlie gogo bar/ping pong show enclave in the Pattaya Soi 6 area.)
Now how exactly can I describe Walking Street in Pattaya to you? If you’ve been to Bangkok , it’s like the Patpong Red Light District in Bang Rak off of Silom Road. If you’ve been to Phuket, it’s like the Bangla Road area in Patong Beach. If you haven’t been to either of those places, well, it’s basically live sex shows, gogo bars, and scantily clad Thai women (and a fair number of Russian women too) imploring you to come on in, so they can take it all off.
Touts for Pattaya gogo bars persist in shoving menus of the sex acts available in your face with cries of “Ping Pong, Ping Pong! Banana, Banana!” Thai prostitutes (and let’s not forget those Russian girls) tease you with that “love-you-long-time” come hither stare.
I’ve been to both Patpong and Bangla, but Walking Street, well Walking Street is place like no other. If Patpong and Bangla had a love child (because, like they’d use a condom), its name would be Walking Street. Pattaya nightlife is blinding neon with a disco beat, and with more drunks than an open bar at an Irish wake. It’s the Las Vegas of sex shows. And like Vegas, you’re guaranteed to lose money.
We weren’t on Walking Street for even a minute before a tout approached us, waving a laminated ping pong show menu in the air: “You want Pussy Ping Pong Show? You want live sex show?”
He led us to a GoGo bar in a side alley named Rocket Club A-Go-Go where we paid our 300 baht admission, which included one drink. Many of the GoGo bars advertise “FREE SEXY LADIES PING PONG SHOW — ONLY BUY A DRINK,” then they charge you an exorbitant amount for that one drink, so I was glad that these guys were at least upfront about the cost.
A stern looking older lady approached us, showed us to our seats, and handed us a rather large menu with all sorts of fancy hi-balls and cocktails.
I asked, “Are these the drinks that are included in the admission price?”
She then pulls out a much smaller menu that only has two items on it:
Many of the dancers seemed bored out of their minds. A few of the GoGo bar girls seemed drugged even more so than the poor creatures at Thailand’s Tiger Temple . But I guess if I had to shoot ping pong balls and darts out my snatch, I’d need a little something to take the edge off too.
Since photography and video are strictly forbidden, Matt asked one of the waitresses for a piece of paper and a pen so I could take notes during the show. Instead of kicking us out, or perhaps asking “What the f***? You want to take notes?” she gladly complied. I’m happy to report I made extensive notes about the order of the acts, the expressions on the girl’s faces, the reactions of the audience — as much detail as I could while keeping a close eye on the entertainment.
Of course somewhere during the night I lost that coveted piece of paper. I can just imagine some tourist’s kid finding it in the gutter the next day: “Mommy, is this someone’s bucket list?”
In any case, I shall try to recount as much as possible about the activities that eve.
Is this how the Vagina Monologues started? That was my first thought, but no, this is where a Thai girl puts pussy to parchment. A gal wielding a Sharpie makes her way to the stage, and a slightly older lady (I’ll call her Pageant Mom), asks for someone’s name from the audience. Some chap yells out, “Paul!” (or Ringo, or something like that), and the entertainer (“ping pong girl” just seems so degrading at this point) places the marker firmly in her wazoo, and deftly begins to scribble on a blank sheet of paper, concentrating as if she were signing some important document, like the Magna Carta, or her parole release papers. Pageant Mom holds the finished product up for all to see, then gives it to Paul (or Ringo) with one hand, and then does the “gimme-gimme” signal with the other. I think he handed her a 100 baht note as a tip, but for genuine pussy penmanship, I think he got off easy. I bet that went straight on his fridge back home.
Now I’m not sure why it’s not Pepsi, or Fanta, or some other sort of soda, but every pussy show menu I saw in Pattaya (and believe me, I saw many) only mentions opening a bottle of Coke. Kickbacks from Coca-Cola? Who’s to know for certain really. In any event, Coke’s got the market cornered.
And another thing I’d like to know — do all women possess this capacity? Or is it only Thai women? I’ve yet to see this particular skill advertised elsewhere. Does vaginal strength like that come with practice? Or is it inherent in all women, and all that’s needed is some degree of nakedness combined with a deep, unquenched thirst and lack of a bottle opener to release this talent?
There should be some sort of government funding to study this. Just sayin’.
In any case, one of the infamous Pattaya girls opened a bottle of Coke with her vagina. Not much fanfare, and it was all over pretty quickly.
Just when I thought I had seen it all. I figured that the candles would be on a cake, or perhaps a muffin (I mean, how appropriate would that be?) But no, the candle was actually inserted into the woman’s vagina, lit end sticking out, and she blew it out using only girl power.
I’m not sure what forces of nature were conjured to complete such a feat, but that’s one act I applauded.
This was what I came for. The main event. The ping pong ball extravaganza. And it went off just as you’d expect. Pageant Mom asked for a volunteer from the audience to hold the ping pong paddle, but since no one was offering, she ended up taking the helm of that task herself. A Thai girl made her way to the stage, laid down on her back, planted her feet firmly on the stage floor, then arched her back up so her lady bits faced Pageant Mom. Then she started shooting ping pong balls out of her vagina, just as advertised. The sloppy popping sound got to be a bit much after a while, and like most in the audience, I was glad when it was over.
And so on it went. Smoking a cigarette through the vagina. Removing what seemed like 20 feet of silk from the vagina. Breaking balloons by shooting darts from the vagina. And so on and so forth.
Honestly, after a while it got a bit tedious.
If I had one complaint about the show (other than the whole disgustingness of it all), it would be that there was very little explanation of what was going on. Matt and I had to move closer to see what was happening (it’s not like there’s a pussy Jumbotron to keep you in the loop.)
Too many times during the performances I found myself saying stuff like:
“That’s not a string of razor blades is it?”
“That is a string of razor blades.”
And so on. A little bit more M.C.’ing by Pageant Mom would’ve helped. But then I suppose the mystery of it all would suffer. And what is art if you take away its mystery?
There was very little interaction from the audience members as well. Pageant Mom asked for volunteers during almost every act, but she was the one who ended up swatting the ping pong balls, holding the balloons, etc.
Most of the audience seemed to be enjoying the show about as much as the Thai girls performing did. There were more stony faces than Easter Island in the room that night. There were a few couples, a group of Middle Eastern men, and a couple of single girls. No sleazy old men, at least not while I was there. Just folks desperate for things to do in Pattaya at night.
I’d surmise most of the patrons ended up there out of pure curiosity — a “when in Rome” ty
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