Ten Year Old Girl Masturbating
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My 7 year old niece masturbates in front of everybody
Hello,
We have a joint family as in my bro,his wife ,2 children and my parents live in one house and my family visit then often.
Now the thing is that my niece who is 7 year old gets very well with my 8 year old daughter and often play with each other and after sometime when they get bored my niece unknowingly starts masturbating in front of everybody.
Even after telling her nicely she does not stop or understands. My sister in law does not say anything to her and feels that it’s a part of growing up, but my parents have tried everything and have given up.
Now the problem is that my daughter has started to ask me and I feel she is inquisitive to try as well.My OH is mad at me and has told me not to visit my parents’ house as he is worried that our DD might get into bad habits.
Thanks in advance suggestions needed
What does your brother say about it? The suggestion that you should stop visiting your family is ridiculous. All families have issues to deal with and this is way down on the list of things to be settled. If your partner gets this upset about minor aspects of growing up, maybe you should buy him a book on the subject. How well do you get on with your sister in law? She may well be right that the behaviour will disappear on its own. But, it is upsetting the adults. In the end, the fuss that the adults are making sounds like more of a problem than the behaviour.
That said, however, it's similar to one particular warning sign:
I can't vouch for this website, but you might like to give its checklists a once over, including the part about sexualised behaviour in young children.
Child sexual abuse among children and young people
It's part of growing up and exploring your body. At this age she should understand, Maybe try telling her that it's something that's done in private by her and only her. It's a tricky situation.
My 7 year old cries literally every day
Please Help.....My 7 Year old Daughter wont wipe her bottom properly!
I catch my three year old absent mindedly fiddling with her bits, I just tell her to stop or she will hurt herself and she does. You shouldn't tell them it's dirty or shameful because it will make them feel this way about sex when they are older, although I do think that seven years old is old enough to understand that this is not acceptable behaviour to do in front of other people. If she starts doing it in school then it will definately raise questions.......
Thanks for the advice,actually the whole thing has gone over the top as its embarrassing to see a young girls fiddling with her private parts in front of everybody,its acceptable if you do it privately ,but in front of everybody is kinda wierd.My partner is okie with the fact that ,its her life and she can do anything but everything needs to be defined and at an age when you are growing it important for parents to make their children know what's appropriate.
As far as my relation with my sis in law is concerned we are quite cordial and spoken about it however I feel she is also at her wits end and now has excepted that its normal.
Other than this my neice also makes a weird movement ,as in the men on top position and strokes ,resting on a huge teddy she has.
seeing all this ,it makes my OH worry...
Thanks for the advice,actually the whole thing has gone over the top as its embarrassing to see a young girls fiddling with her private parts in front of everybody,its acceptable if you do it privately ,but in front of everybody is kinda wierd.My partner is okie with the fact that ,its her life and she can do anything but everything needs to be defined and at an age when you are growing it important for parents to make their children know what's appropriate.
As far as my relation with my sis in law is concerned we are quite cordial and spoken about it however I feel she is also at her wits end and now has excepted that its normal.
Other than this my neice also makes a weird movement ,as in the men on top position and strokes ,resting on a huge teddy she has.
seeing all this ,it makes my OH worry...
I am not suprised your OH is concerned - this last sentence seems rather worrying to be honest . And by worrying I mean that perhaps she has seen things that she is too young to understand etc. - films/ videos . Someone needs to talk to the little one but of course that cant be you . There is some great advice on the NSPCC website i think that defines what is and what isnt worrying sexual behaviour in children . Your niece is lucky to have people looking out for her , try and see it that way Good Luck XXX
You can speak to child protection charities in confidence. I'm not sure about the teddy bear positioning. But, I'd be raising an eyebrow at that too. There are so many places that children can get bad information from, older brothers, brothers of friends at playdates, males of one kind or another. It's too difficult to know precisely what has gone into that child's head (or where from) maybe nothing to worry about. But, I'd be talking to a specialist about the phenomena and asking her what she thought.
After reading the last sentence of your last reply I am afraid for your niece. It was mentioned on a different website that for her age, masturbating in private is common but in front of other people is rare. I would definately get in contact with child services. I know a woman who had no idea her husband was abusing their daughter until she went to school and she started screaming saying that she didn't want to get undressed for physical education and when her teacher asked her why, it all came out I also think your husband has a point about not letting your daughter play with her (for now) but only for the reason that abused children sometimes abuse younger children.
Hi,
Just a thought do you think your niece may have worms? She maybe itchy and rubbing herself against the teddy and her hand stops the inching... It just a tablet that every one in the home takes.. You'd need to wash all the bedding and soft toys.. Fallow the direction on the box.. If that doesn't help then maybe look at our things x
HELP....my 7 year old daughters hair is all matted
my 7 year old daughter was dragged into school kicking and screaming today :-(
If your Sil does to her Doctor for a prescription it would be free, plus if it's not worms then she be in the right place to start to ask questions. It would also not be down to you to start a family war by accusing or highlighting behaviour you feel uncomfortable with.
Hi,
Just a thought do you think your niece may have worms? She maybe itchy and rubbing herself against the teddy and her hand stops the inching... It just a tablet that every one in the home takes.. You'd need to wash all the bedding and soft toys.. Fallow the direction on the box.. If that doesn't help then maybe look at our things x
Ohh it could be worms as when she was small she was found of licking the wall and picking up things from the ground and putting it in her mouth.actually she belongs to a different country and there they give a de-worming syrup once or twice a year,is that what you are referring to?
Yes, but in Britain we give tablets or syrup only when needed.. It very easy to get back again if soft furnishings, toys bedding aren't washed and changed daily while treating. She's the right age are you not in the UK?
All members of the household are treated at the same time sometimes a second dose is taken a month later. I'd treat your whole family I.e all family members even those not living in the house on a daily bases.
My 7 yr old DS feet aren't growing!
If she's mixing with children from the UK and she lives elsewhere she may need the UK and her country medicine for worms they maybe different kinds.. I hope that helps!
If she's mixing with children from the UK and she lives elsewhere she may need the UK and her country medicine for worms they maybe different kinds.. I hope that helps!
No,she has never been to UK,only my DD when we visit her. and that just like 2-3 times in a year during hols
ADVICE NEEDED. Pregnant with new partner, 3 kids already
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Dear Prudence,
A few years ago my now 11-year-old daughter found the “back massager” stowed under my bed. I told her that it was for massaging sore muscles and this is, indeed, the way this massager is marketed. In fact, I use it during sex with my husband and for masturbation. Recently, this back massager has been disappearing into my daughter’s room, where she says she uses it to massage her muscles. I just discovered she is also experimenting with it on her genitals. I don’t have any problem with her discovering her sexuality, but it seems awkward and inappropriate that she is using the instrument that I use. I also think it is too powerful for her. Last night she told me that she had used it on her genitals and that they were swollen and hurt. I told her that she needed to take it easy and that the massager should only be used on sore muscles. What should I do? I feel like she will continue to ask me for the massager and potentially use it for sexual pleasure. Again, I have no problem with her masturbation or discovery of her sexuality, but it just doesn’t seem right that it is with my massager. When I hide it, she asks for it, and I don’t want to give her any sense that she is doing something wrong. What should I do?
Dear Sharing,
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this column, it’s that vibrators have a yearning to wander and they end up in the darndest places. I love the idea of your little girl sighing over her aching sacroiliac in order to borrow Mom’s “back massager” for relief. No surprise she’s got sore muscles—as you’re finding out, she’s got a sore love muscle from all the battery-operated overuse. I agree that your daughter has to explore her sexuality, but not by appropriating the goodies under your bed. (Ah, the memories of the stuff under Mom and Dad’s bed! That’s where I discovered Human Sexual Response by Masters and Johnson and My Life & Loves by Frank Harris. The marijuana was in the underwear drawer.) It’s unsanitary physically and messy psychologically for you two to be sharing this magic wand. You have to make clear to your daughter that while she’s entitled to some privacy, parents’ privacy rights trump kids’. That means she can’t just search your bedroom and take anything she pleases. Explain that she can no longer borrow the massager because it’s your personal item. Since she’s comfortable enough to come to you with her masturbatory misadventures, you should address the subject head on. Tell her what’s she’s doing is perfectly normal, but she’s just too young to use an electronic device (frankly, it will be better for her not to get hooked on such powerful stimulation). Let her know that for countless millennia 11-year-olds have been mastering masturbation with just their hands and she should try that route. Say you’re available to talk with her on this issue anytime, and also give a copy It’s Perfectly Normal or another straightforward book on sexual development, in case she has questions she doesn’t want to bring to you. Then put your massager someplace your daughter can’t get it. Until manufacturers come up with a specialty vibrator safe, one of these should do.
Dear Prudence,
The same day my husband and I learned he has incurable brain cancer, I also learned he has been regularly seeing and texting his ex-lover, probably for the entirety of our 14 years together. “Bob” and “Vickie” worked together years ago. He was unattached; she had a boyfriend but started sleeping with Bob on the side. This continued through her engagement, and possibly right up to her wedding. The sex then ended but the communication continued. Bob and I became a couple soon after. Both Bob and Vickie travel frequently for work, and I always suspected they were getting together occasionally. A few years ago I found a sexy picture of her and I confronted him and told him finding this picture devastated me. He apologized, got rid of the picture, and we moved on. A few weeks ago I took Bob to the emergency room because he appeared to have had a stroke. The diagnosis was much worse: an aggressive brain cancer from which he will not survive. I accessed his cellphone (for the first time, he always kept it locked) and discovered almost daily text messages between Bob and Vickie. They were chatty and brief, but included sexual innuendo. Bob later admitted that although they never sleep together, he and Vickie get together a few times a year when traveling. I am furious and sick over this betrayal, because I was (am?) so in love with him. If he weren’t ill, I would throw him out. Instead I am staying, caring for my husband during what is likely to be the last year of his life. I am in torment every day, and when my husband does finally die, my memory of him will be forever tainted by his betrayal.
Dear Sad,
Everything is agony for you right now, and I’m not defending either Bob or Vickie, but I hope that in the time you have left together you and Bob can get past what you’ve discovered. This secret friendship was out of bounds and I don’t blame you for being furious and feeling betrayed. Bob knew you’d never approve of his staying in touch with Vickie, so he hid this from you. This was a small, walled-off portion of his life, but what matters is that Bob chose you, and continued to choose you. You’ve had l4 good years together, and now you’ve committed to see him through to the end. Don’t compound the pain of his impending death with incessant thoughts about this other woman. It would be easy to focus all your sadness, grief, and anger on her, but what’s important is that she’s not important. It’s also better you found out now, rather than after his death, so that you weren’t left to sort through this all alone. Bob needs you, and you need him. You also need someone to talk to—about this discovery, and more importantly about his illness and eventual death. A good therapist, preferably one knowledgeable about grief and loss, will be a sounding board for you and help keep this violation from taking up more space in your life than it deserves. I’m sure you will be glad you stayed, and I hope you two find sweetness in the precious days you have left.
Dear Prudence,
My brother hit it big in the financial sector. He’s worth somewhere north of $50 million. I’m a homemaker, married to an IT manager with a solid income. I’ve held on to the liberal, atheist values I developed in the 1970s and a casual lifestyle. My brother and his wife meanwhile have become rabid conservatives who golf with celebrities. For the last 20 years, we’ve lived on opposite ends of the country, but my brother travels constantly for business. His family also travels constantly for pleasure—sometimes to within easy distance of my home, as I see on Facebook. My 21-year-old nephew, whom I don’t know well, recently spent a month within 10 miles of me and didn’t contact me. I am hurt by this and feel the loss of my extended family keenly. I last saw my brother five years ago on a visit to his home, which was nice until his constant political comments led to a liberal vs. conservative screaming match. We’ve only had stilted phone and email contact since then. Do you have any ideas on how to fix this?
—Upper-Middle-Class Sister/Rich Brother
Dear Upper,
It’s unfortunate that since you follow their comings and goings on Facebook, you didn’t take the opportunity of your nephew’s nearness to be the one to reach out to him and invite him to dinner. You may miss your brother, but whether you acknowledge it or not you also resent him and think he’s a jackass. You have contempt for his opinions and the way he lives (most people with an eight-figure net worth are the traveling type). It’s likely that all this came to head in that blow-up, and maybe your brother and his wife decided life’s too short, and there are too many rounds of golf to play with Clint Eastwood, to invest more time in a relationship with you. I think you should make another effort with your brother. Send him an email, or even a letter, saying how much you miss him and his family. Say you are very sorry for your part in causing the fight during your last visit and have long regretted your harsh words and how it led to estrangement. Say you’d like to heal this breach, and your home is open for a visit from his family any time they are near. Tell him you and yours would be happy to fly somewhere to get together with them. If you are rebuffed, then accept your brother is a cold, cold man, which probably was one of the keys to his success.
Dear Prudence,
My wife and I are in the midst of a difficult but rewarding relocation to Switzerland from Indiana. My parents have been planning on visiting us for the first time in early December. However, they’ve now said that they are thinking about pushing the trip back until March of next year because they are afraid to travel near Christmas out of fear that ISIS will plan terrorist attacks around the holiday. I’m crushed by this. I’ve never been in a place where I have felt safer than in Switzerland and think that the likelihood of an attack by ISIS is infinitesimal. Should I try to convince my parents to visit? I don’t want to invalidate their feelings, but I think they’d be making a mistake to allow fear to deny them the opportunity visit that we’ve all been looking forward to so much.
Dear Not,
Here’s to your parents’ confidence that this depraved,
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