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Whether you’re single, in a relationship (exclusive or inclusive), married, straight, gay, a man, a woman, tall, short, black or white, you have some kind of sexual fantasy or desire
The word 'fantasy' leads many to believe that their desire isn’t really reality and that it may not be shared by the masses, so they keep their wishes suppressed. However, we don’t believe this is right at Tempt Me Tease Me which is why we decided to research the topic and create our latest infographic .
According to a report from The Independent which asked 1,517 Quebec adults to rank 55 different fantasies, including which is their favourite, the all time most popular sexual fantasy (with 92.2 per cent of females and 88.3 per cent of males agreeing upon this) is simply to feel romantic during a sexual relationship.
While the study, which had 799 men and 718 women involved, of whom 81.5 per cent were heterosexual and 3.6 per cent were homosexual (the rest did not identify as either) could do with being conducted on a wider scale, it’s clear that sexual fantasies are a lot more normal than you may think.
Many countries have a somewhat introverted attitude when it comes to sexual fantasies, so we at Tempt Me Tease Me look below at six of the most common sexual fantasies and why it’s important to not only have these fantasies, but to also indulge in them.
Alongside feeling romantic in a sexual relationship, an overwhelming 86.4 per cent of females and 81.2 per cent of males said that atmosphere and location are important in their sexual fantasies. While the study didn’t delve down deeper into this, there really isn’t any right or wrong answers when it comes to atmosphere or location.
Want to keep it simple and just do it in your bedroom? No problem! Have a slightly wilder fantasy of getting down to business in a public place? We say go for it! Get the atmosphere and location right and you’ll find your sexual pleasure increases tenfold.
Are you a giver or a taker? According to the report, 64.6 per cent of females and 53.3 per cent of males fantasise about being dominated sexually. Maybe you’re looking for your partner to take a little control, or maybe you have dreams of being a full on sex slave - either way, over half of all sexual adults want to be taken control of. We’d recommend letting your partner know this, sometimes people are hesitant of taking control in case it comes across as too aggressive!
This one we can’t condone unless it’s 100 per cent consensual - we don’t pick the results over here at Tempt Me Tease Me, but 28.9 per cent of females and 30.7 per cent of males have the desire to be forced to have sex. If you keep it safe and keep it friendly, then being forced to have sex can tie in nicely to _#2 Being Dominated Sexually_with handcuffs, restraints or full on bondage gear!
This was one of the most popular sexual fantasies listed by both men and women, with 71.7 per cent and 71.4 per cent listing this respectively. Maybe we’re all just a little too used to doing this ourselves and find it much more arousing with our sexual partners doing it for us? Either way, this is ranked highly as one of the most desired fantasies, again showing that sexual fantasies are not strange or abnormal as many outdated notions will have us believe!
We’re not talking about any old selfie - 43.9 per cent of males and 31.9 per cent of females ranked being photographed or filmed during a sexual relationship as one of their favourite fantasies. If you’re looking to snap some shots, get a little footage or record a fully-fledged sex tape then there are a number of great products available on the market to help you become budding porn-stars! (For your own personal pleasure of course…or maybe not!)
36.3 per cent of females and 28.5 per cent of males stated that they fantasied about being spanked or whipped in order to obtain sexual pleasure. Again, this ties in nicely with the idea of domination and submission and we say go for it!
Above we looked at six of the most common sexual fantasies, and we hope you agree that they aren’t as unpredictable as you may imagine! But maybe you’ve got other fantasies that didn’t make it to our top six? We look below at why sexual fantasies are not only important, but are vital to both your relationship and your life. 96 per cent of all adults have at least one daily daydream or fantasy, sexual or not. This means nearly all of the world’s adult population regularly have fantasies, and it comes as no surprise that many of these drift into the realm of sexual desires - maybe this explains the success of Fifty Shades of Grey ?
In a study that was published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , an Israeli psychologist named Gurit E. Birnbaum, with her team, attempted to show that sexual fantasies and desires not only directly impacted how individuals felt about their significant other, but also how they felt about themselves, and also vice versa.
Birnbaum proposed that sex, and sexual desires, can serve as way for people to meet their needs for emotional intimacy, helping them to feel secure within their relationship. Birnbaum was able to show that the participants fantasied on 59% of the days in a 3 week period, with two-thirds of these fantasies being about their partner.
Interestingly, depending on the individual’s attachment style, the couples also reported that these fantasies came out of a need for intimacy, as well as receiving affection from others. It also helped them to escape from reality and feel less alienated.
While the full article on Psychology Today can help you to see what kind of attachment style you are and how this may relate to your sexual fantasies, we can see that these fantasies are an extremely important factor in a relationship and can directly affect how we feel emotionally. Another study from the University of Granada found that sexual fantasies increased men’s positive attitudes towards sex, and in turn heightened their sex drive. Of course some people will have a negative reaction to some fantasies, but generally both men and women enjoy the power of imagination and it was found that the more sexual fantasies both groups had, the more sexual desire they had.
Of the 608 subjects involved in the study, aged 13-43, the research concluded that 32% of reduced sexual desire in men was as a result of a decrease in sexual fantasies. This number was 18% for females.
Sexual desire is absolutely crucial to any relationship, because without desire you are unlikely to get excitation or even that coveted orgasm. As this study has shown that sexual fantasies are directly linked to sexual desire, and therefore orgasms, there is no reason not to think about incorporating your sexual fantasises into your relationship!
The researchers are currently trying to implement their research on a wider scale, but have cited that sexual fantasies are even used in therapy as a means of decreasing levels of anxiety, perhaps showing us that these fantasies, including the domination and submission ones that we have seen so many of, allow both men and women to feel secure, comfortable and wanted within a sexual relationship.
Besides all the psychology behind these desires, mixing things up, making it exciting and satisfying your partner will not only keep the spark alive in your relationship
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