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15 yr old girl, mobiles and webcams:-/
I have a sister who will be 15 in a couple of weeks.

To cut a very long story short:

earlier this yr i found a record of some online convo's she had been having with a man who I later found out was in his 30's but had told her he was 21! needless to say the nature of convo's were very disturbing and I told our mum about them and called the police..(my sis had NOT lied about her age, which i guess is one thing!)

Sis got very upset about being interviewed by police etc.. but nothing came of it all and they didn't even question man involved due to 'too much paperwork when no physical contact had been made!) Looking thru her phone and her own pc history we found various pics of her not him but they had been sent to not only him but some other males of various ages..
also webcam 'chats'

her laptop was taken from her as was her phone.. my mum gave them back after around 5mths hoping that she'd learnt her lesson,

in Sept my other sis who is 2yrs younger then the one in question told my mum that there were loads of rumours going round the school about sis, nude pics, webcam strip shows and several boys in the year above...

Even the sch contacted mum to say that they'd heard these rumours and were worried as sis was having things shouted at her on sch grounds..

phone was checked again and more pics were found so phone was removed again pc had nothing on it this time.

Phone now back with her and i got a call from mum sayin that (as she checks her phone without her knowing now from time to time) she had found yet more naked and pornographic photos of her on her phone.. phone has been removed again and is not going to be given back now.

Sis is very quiet by nature (what is it they say about the quiet ones?) she won't say anything about it, gets very defensive etc..

mum (who will never win any awards for parenting) has had enough of her and is now saying she wants to send her to live with me (!)

I love my sis regardless of her faults, but I'm totally unequipt to deal with a teenager if this move happens.. I have 4 kids of my own, ageing between 6yrs and 10weeks so i could really do without the hastle of a 15yr old trying to be a porn star!!!

I really don't mind her coming to live with me but i just don't know how to handle her behaviour... HELP PLEASE!!!!![smilie=022.gif]
What a horrible worry for you all.

Why is your sister behaving in this way? Because she is flattered at the attention she gets from men? She's looking for approval? It makes her feel attractive and adult?

I don't think the behaviour will stop unless you can tackle the root cause of all this - and I don't think you are equipped to do this on your own.

Your Mum shouldn't just be washing her hands of your sister either.

I'd think I would try contacting the police who were involved at the beginning and ask them about child protection and whether there are agencies that can help. Your sister's school should also have access to outside help.

I wish you all the best in helping to sort this out for your sister.
Hello Anon,

It is rather selfish of your Mum to expect you to let your sister live with you. This will not solve the problem, it may even make it escalate as your sister will no doubt feel abandoned and unloved by her Mum.

I am going to ask Diane who also works for ParentLine Plus to read this thread and see what she can advise.
Please do keep checking for Dianes reply won't you?

This is very difficult for all the family concerned.:hug:

Linda xx
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Hi Anon,

I'm Di from Parentline Plus. Linda asked me to drop in to your thread. What a lovely sister you are. You clearly have loads on your plate already, yet you are willing to offer your sister a home even though you are wondering how you will manage a teenager's behaviour. Give yourself a pat on the back, hon. You certainly deserve one, and it's really commendable that you are prepared to do this. 

Firstly, whether or not your sister does come to live with you, I would definitely suggest that you talk to her about what has happened. It's clear that you love her despite what has happened so remind her of this and ensure she knows your intention is not to reprimand her - your aim is to get to the root of why she would want to act this way and what she gains from doing so.

I've given you some links from the Parentline Plus website about internet safety that might help with your discussions and point you in the right direction if you need to take this further. 

Thinkuknow - home

Know IT All for Parents

I'm also wondering if the school have offered you any support. It might be worth exploring this with them as most have staff specially trained in emotional matters. Alternatively, she could contact Connexions Directwhich is a support service for teenagers.

I hope this helps. Let us know how you get on and we'll do what we can to help. Take care.
Hello again,

Just wondering how you are and am thinking of you. I'll be keeping an eye on your thread for a little while, but if you want to alert me to anything specific at a later date, don't hesitate to PM me.
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