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Sexual Harassment and Sexual Bullying
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Even if you've never been bullied or harassed, chances are you know someone who has. Harassment can be a big problem for kids and teens, especially when smartphones, online messaging, and social media sites make it easy for bullies to do their thing.
When bullying behavior involves unwanted sexual comments, suggestions, advances, or threats to another person, it's called sexual harassment or sexual bullying.
Here's what you need to know and what you can do if you or someone you care about is being sexually harassed or bullied.
Just like other kinds of bullying, sexual harassment can involve comments, gestures, actions, or attention that is intended to hurt, offend, or intimidate another person. With sexual harassment, the focus is on things like a person's appearance, body parts, sexual orientation, or sexual activity.
Sexual harassment may be verbal (like making comments about someone), but it doesn't have to be spoken. Bullies may use technology to harass someone sexually (like sending inappropriate text messages, pictures, or videos). Sometimes sexual harassment can even get physical when someone tries to kiss or touch someone that does not want to be touched.
Sexual harassment doesn't just happen to girls. Boys can harass girls, but girls also can harass guys, guys may harass other guys, and girls may harass other girls. Sexual harassment isn't limited to people of the same age, either. Adults sometimes sexually harass young people (and, occasionally, teens may harass adults, though that's pretty rare). But most of the time, when sexual harassment happens to teens, it's being done by people in the same age group.
Sexual harassment and bullying are very similar — they both involve unwelcome or unwanted sexual comments, attention, or physical contact. So why call one thing by two different names?
Sometimes schools and other places use one term or the other for legal reasons. For instance, a school document may use the term "bullying" to describe what's against school policy, while a law might use the term "harassment" to define what's against the law. Some behaviors might be against school policy and also against the law.
For the person who is being targeted, though, it doesn't make much difference if something is called bullying or harassment. This kind of behavior is upsetting no matter what it's called. Like anyone who's being bullied, people who are sexually harassed can feel threatened and scared and experience a great deal of emotional stress.
Some pictures, images, jokes, language, and contact are called "inappropriate" for a reason. If a behavior or interaction makes you uncomfortable or upset, talk to a trusted adult. It may fall into the sexual harassment or bullying category.
Sexual harassment or bullying can include:
Sending sexual messages or images by text, or "sexting," is not a good idea for many reasons. Sexting can lead to problems for you and the person getting the text, even when you are dating or in a relationship with that person. In some cases these messages can be considered harassment or bullying and can bring very serious consequences. Also, messages or images you intend to be private can get into the wrong hands and be used to embarrass, intimidate, or humiliate. Even if you send someone's picture just to one other person, it can be forwarded to many other people or posted online for the world to see.
Forcing another person into doing things they don't want to do, such as kissing, oral sex, or intercourse, goes beyond sexual harassment or bullying. Forcing someone to do sexual things is sexual assault or rape, and it's a serious crime.
Sometimes people who make sexual jokes or comments laugh off their behavior as flirting, and you might be tempted to do the same. So what's the difference between flirting and sexual harassment?
Here are three examples of flirting versus harassment:
Some things may be awkward, but they don't count as harassment. A guy who blurts out a sex-related swearword because he spills his lunch tray isn't likely to be trying to harass or bother you. But if someone is deliberately doing or saying sexual things that make you uncomfortable, it's probably sexual harassment.
Not sure? Ask yourself, "Is this something I wanted to happen or I want to continue happening? How does it make me feel?" If it doesn't feel right, talk to a parent, teacher, guidance counselor, or someone else you trust.
If you think you're being harassed, don't blame yourself. People who harass or bully can be very manipulative. They are often good at blaming the other person — and even at making victims blame themselves. But no one has the right to sexually harass or bully anyone else, no matter what. There is no such thing as "asking for it."
There's no single "right" way to respond to sexual harassment. Each situation is unique. It often can be helpful to start by telling the person doing the harassing to stop. Let him or her know that this behavior is not OK with you. Sometimes that will be enough, but not always. The harasser may not stop. He or she might even laugh off your request, tease you, or bother you more.
That's why it's important to share what's happening with an adult you trust. Is there a parent, relative, coach, or teacher you can talk to? More and more schools have a designated person who's there to talk about bullying issues, so find out if there's someone at your school.
Most schools have a sexual harassment policy or a bullying policy to protect you. Ask a guidance counselor, school nurse, or administrator about your school's policy. If you find the adult you talk to doesn't take your complaints seriously at first, you may have to repeat yourself or find someone else who will listen.
There's no doubt it can feel embarrassing to talk about sexual harassment at first. But that uncomfortable feeling quickly wears off after a minute or so of conversation. In most cases, telling someone sooner leads to faster results and fewer problems down the line, so it's worth it.
It can help to keep a record of the events that have happened. Write down dates and short descriptions in a journal. Save any offensive pictures, videos, texts, or IMs as evidence. That way you'll have them if your school or family has to take legal action. To avoid going through feeling upset all over again, save this evidence someplace where you don't have to see it every day.
Bystanders play an important role in stopping bullying and sexual harassment. If you see someone who is being harassed, take action. If it feels safe and natural to speak up, say, "Come on, let's get out of here" to the person you see getting bullied or bothered. You probably shouldn't try to change the bully's behavior by yourself, but it is OK to let the bully know people are watching and will be getting involved.
If you don't feel you can say something at the time you see the incident, report the event to a teacher or principal. This isn't snitching. It's standing up for what's right. No one deserves to be harassed. You could also talk to the victim afterward and offer support. Say that you think what happened is not OK and offer some ideas for dealing with harassment.
You won't always see sexual harassment or bullying happening. A friend who is going through it might not talk about it.
Sometimes people show signs that something's wrong even if they don't talk about it. Maybe a normally upbeat friend seems sad, worried, or distracted. Perhaps a friend has lost interest in hanging out or doing stuff. Maybe someone you know avoids school or has falling grades. Changes like these are often signs that something's going on. It may not be sexual harassment or bullying (things like mood swings or changes in eating habits can be signs of many different things). But it is a chance for you to ask if everything's OK.
Note: All information on TeensHealth® is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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"Child sex offender" redirects here. For sex crimes committed by minors, see Juvenile sex crimes.
Child sexual abuse, also called child molestation, is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation.[1][2] Forms of child sexual abuse include engaging in sexual activities with a child (whether by asking or pressuring, or by other means), indecent exposure (of the genitals, female nipples, etc.), child grooming, and child sexual exploitation,[3][4][5] including using a child to produce child pornography.[1][6][7]
Child sexual abuse can occur in a variety of settings, including home, school, or work (in places where child labor is common). Child marriage is one of the main forms of child sexual abuse; UNICEF has stated that child marriage "represents perhaps the most prevalent form of sexual abuse and exploitation of girls".[8] The effects of child sexual abuse can include depression,[9] post-traumatic stress disorder,[10] anxiety,[11] complex post-traumatic stress disorder,[12] propensity to further victimization in adulthood,[13] and physical injury to the child, among other problems.[14] Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.[15]
The global prevalence of child sexual abuse has been estimated at 19.7% for females and 7.9% for males.[16] Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles, or cousins;[17] around 60% are other acquaintances, such as "friends" of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases.[18] Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; studies on female child molesters show that women commit 14% to 40% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls.[18][19][20]
The word pedophile is commonly applied indiscriminately to anyone who sexually abuses a child,[21] but child sexual offenders are not pedophiles unless they have a strong sexual interest in prepubescent children.[22][23] Under the law, child sexual abuse is often used as an umbrella term describing criminal and civil offenses in which an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor or exploits a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification.[7][24] The American Psychological Association states that "children cannot consent to sexual activity with adults", and condemns any such action by an adult: "An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act which never can be considered normal or socially acceptable behavior."[25]
Child sexual abuse can result in both short-term and long-term harm, including psychopathology in later life.[14][26] Indicators and effects include depression,[9][27][28] anxiety,[11] eating disorders,[29] poor self-esteem,[29] somatization,[28] sleep disturbances,[30][31] and dissociative and anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder.[10][32] While children may exhibit regressive behaviours such as thumb sucking or bedwetting, the strongest indicator of sexual abuse is sexual acting out and inappropriate sexual knowledge and interest.[33][34] Victims may withdraw from school and social activities[33] and exhibit various learning and behavioural problems including cruelty to animals,[35][36][37][38] attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).[29] Teenage pregnancy and risky sexual behaviors may appear in adolescence.[39] Child sexual abuse victims report almost four times as many incidences of self-inflicted harm.[40]
A well-documented, long-term negative effect is repeated or additional victimization in adolescence and adulthood.[13][42] A causal relationship has been found between childhood sexual abuse and various adult psychopathologies, including crime and suicide,[18][43][44][45][46][47] in addition to alcoholism and drug abuse.[41][42][48] Males who were sexually abused as children more frequently appear in the criminal justice system than in a clinical mental health setting.[33] A study comparing middle-aged women who were abused as children with non-abused counterparts found significantly higher health care costs for the former.[28][49] Intergenerational effects have been noted, with the children of victims of child sexual abuse exhibiting more conduct problems, peer problems, and emotional problems than their peers.[50]
A specific characteristic pattern of symptoms has not been identified,[51] and there are several hypotheses about the causality of these associations.[9][52][53]
Studies have found that 51% to 79% of sexually abused children exhibit psychological symptoms.[45][54][55][56][57] The risk of harm is greater if the abuser is a relative, if the abuse involves intercourse or attempted intercourse, or if threats or force are used.[58] The level of harm may also be affected by various factors such as penetration, duration and frequency of abuse, and use of force.[14][26][59][60] The social stigma of child sexual abuse may compound the psychological harm to children,[60][61] and adverse outcomes are less likely for abused children who have supportive family environments.[62][63]
Child abuse, including sexual abuse, especially chronic abuse starting at early ages, has been found to be related to the development of high levels of dissociative symptoms, which includes amnesia for abuse memories.[64] When severe sexual abuse (penetration, several perpetrators, lasting more than one year) had occurred, dissociative symptoms were even more prominent.[65] Recent research showed that females with high exposure to child sexual abuse (CSA) suffer PTSD symptoms that are associated with poor social functioning, which is also supported by prior research studies.[66] The feeling of being “cut-off” from peers and “emotional numbness” are both results of CSA and highly inhibit proper social functioning. Furthermore, PTSD is associated with higher risk of substance abuse as a result of the “self-medication hypothesis” and the “high-risk and susceptibility hypothesis."[67] Prolonged exposure therapy (PE) was found to decrease PTSD and depressive symptoms in female methadone using CSA survivors.[67]
Because child sexual abuse often occurs alongside other possibly confounding variables, such as poor family environment and physical abuse,[69] some scholars argue it is important to control for those variables in studies which measure the effects of sexual abuse.[26][52][70][71] In a 1998 review of related literature, Martin and Fleming state "The hypothesis advanced in this paper is that, in most cases, the fundamental damage inflicted by child sexual abuse is due to the child's developing capacities for trust, intimacy, agency and sexuality, and that many of the mental health problems of adult life associated with histories of child sexual abuse are second-order effects."[72] Other studies have found an independent association of child sexual abuse with adverse psychological outcomes.[11][26][52]
Kendler et al. (2000) found that most of the relationship between severe forms of child sexual abuse and adult psychopathology in their sample could not be explained by family discord, because the effect size of this association decreased only slightly after they controlled for possible confounding variables. Their examination of a small sample of CSA-discordant twins also supported a causal link between child sexual abuse and adult psychopathology; the CSA-exposed subjects had a consistently higher risk for psychopathologic disorders than their CSA non-exposed twins.[52]
A 1998 meta-analysis by Bruce Rind et al. generated controversy by suggesting that child sexual abuse does not always cause pervasive harm, that girls were more likely to be psychologically harmed than boys, that some college students reported such encounters as positive experiences and that the extent of psychological damage depends on whether or not the child described the encounter as "consensual."[73] The study was criticized for flawed methodology and conclusions.[74][75] The US Congress condemned the study for its conclusions and for providing material used by pedophile organizations to justify their activities.[76]
Depending on the age and size of the child, and the degree of force used, child sexual abuse may cause internal lacerations and bleeding. In severe cases, damage to internal organs may occur, which, in some cases, may cause death.[77]
Child sexual abuse may cause infections and sexually transmitted diseases.[78] Due to a lack of sufficient vaginal fluid, chances of infections can heighten depending on the age and size of the child. Vaginitis has also been reported.[78]
Research has shown that traumatic stress, including stress caused by sexual abuse, causes notable changes in brain functioning and development.[79][80] Various studies have suggested that severe child sexual abuse may have a deleterious effect on brain development. Ito et al. (1998) found "reversed hemispheric asymmetry and greater left hemisphere coherence in abused subjects;"[81] Teicher et al. (1993) found that an increased likelihood of "ictal temporal lobe epilepsy-like symptoms" in abused subjects;[82] Anderson et al. (2002) recorded abnormal transverse relaxation time in the cerebellar vermis of adults sexually abused in childhood;[83] Teicher et al. (1993) found that child sexual abuse was associated with a reduced corpus callosum area; various studies have found an association of reduced volume of the left hippocampus with child sexual abuse;[84] and Ito et al. (1993) found increased electrophysiological abnormalities in sexually abused children.[85]
Some studies indicate that sexual or physical abuse in children can lead to the overexcitation of an undeveloped limbic system.[84] Teicher et al. (1993)[82] used the "Limbic System Checklist-33" to measure ictal temporal lobe epilepsy-like symptoms in 253 adults. Reports of child sexual abuse were associated with a 49% increase to LSCL-33 scores, 11% higher than the associated increase of self-reported physical abuse. Reports of both physical and sexual abuse were associated with a 113% increase. Male and female victims were similarly affected.[82][86]
Navalta et al. (2006) found that the self-reported math Scholastic Aptitude Test scores of their sample of women with a history of repeated child sexual abuse were significantly lower than the self-reported math SAT scores of their non-abused
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