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Andrew "But This Is All A Pyramid Scheme" Tate
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Meet Micha (or should I say meat?). He is 45 years old, lives in Berlin and is extremely well hung .
But he wasn’t always enormously endowed, a few years ago Micha underwent an irreversible penis enlargement .
His penis now measures a whopping 9 inches in length and 3.5 inches across, which for us sods still using the metric system is nearly 23cm long and 9cm wide. Aka: fucking enormous.
“Whether it weighs 7.5 pounds of 9.5 pounds, I can’t say right now,” he says.
“I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6 pounds, hasn’t been enough for a while.”
Remind me never to borrow your scales for baking , Micha.
Concerns about standards of food preparation aside, Micha is now the the subject of a new documentary from Vice called, wait for it, Monster Meat. Because his giant appendage really does just need to be seen to be believed.
The documentary is both fascinating and actually quite moving. Because behind his giant bulge, Micha is just a shy guy looking for love and self-acceptance .
“I didn’t have my penis enlarged because it makes me feel more beautiful,” he tells the camera, “but rather because it makes me feel better.”
The film explores the underground world of penis enlargement, dangerous procedures, extreme implants and the biggest question of all… Does size really matter?
“If a woman gets a breast enlargement, nobody says anything about it. If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a whole documentary about,” he says.
“People’s reactions are really different. I definitely get looks.”
Micha also confides that it can be difficult to tell if his partners really love him or just his giant dick.
“There’s always that danger also in a relationship. But I think if you take the time to get to know the other person, then I can tell what I mean to him. Whether he really loves me or just part of me. And then I make a decision, which may be against the partner.”
You can watch the whole thing here. It’s NSFW, but you knew that already (the post continues after the video).
Now, we didn’t include this originally, but by very popular demand, we’ve included an image of Micha naked below (via VICE ).
As for what it looks like from the front, Micha says, “I’ve been told that my penis looks like an ass or a mouth from the front.” How about that?
And to answer the one question that everyone keeps bombarding us with:
How does the penis affect Micha’s sex life? Apparently, “after you reach a certain size, you can’t do certain things any more. At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and hardened ideas about sex and be ready to play.”
It turns out that there are a few unexpected options: “Of course you can penetrate my foreskin. A lot of guys have offered to do that. But I don’t get a lot out of that sexually.”
As for whether there are any drawback, Micha says his life is fairly ordinary, but “it isn’t as easy as buying a new pair of pants.”
And while we’re talking all things wang… Here are some things tat accidentally look like penises (you’re welcome):
Well hung, indeed. But whatever one’s size, health is also important. More men shoukd use a superior penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) to help fight penis odor, dry/flaky skin, loss of sensation, etc.
Or you could just shower daily and stay off certain drugs which will affect the sensation...
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This man has the world's biggest penis
This man has the world's biggest penis https://metro.co.uk/video/this-man-worlds-biggest-penis-1396389/ 1396389
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7 Photos Of The Most Adorable Penis You've Ever Seen
7 Photos Of The Most Adorable Penis You've Ever Seen
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What does a penis do while the rest of his body is asleep? That's what the anonymous photographer behind the Tumblr site Things My Dick Does wondered. The San Francisco-based photographer decided that his penis probably did whatever he could for fun, as penises are always up for a good time.
Calling his penis Little Dude (or LD), Big Dude (for lack of a real name) started taking pictures of his penis in all kinds of hilarious costumes and situations. Since you can't have funny penis pictures and NOT share them, Things My D*ck Does was born.
Little Dude has been featured on The Huffington Post , Buzzfeed , and Metro.UK to name just a few, and is currently burning up the internet. It seems pretty obvious that there will be a book at some point such as Sh*t My Dad Says , or maybe even an animated show. I don't think there's a dream that too big for Little Dude.
While these are technically penis pics, they're much more adorable and charming than something you'd send while sexting . Little Dude is a good-natured Everyman who seems more than ready to dress up as a superhero, or dive head first into a cake.
Here are some hilarious and somewhat charming pictures from the viral sensation, showcasing some of Little Dude's adventures and the comical situations he gets himself into.
It's my d**k in a cup! (Instead of a box, get it?) With all this craziness about which Starbucks holiday cup is better, here's how he decided to handle the situation.
Hello, my baby; hello, my honey! He's happy to see his gal.
Little Dude is having a dough-ball.
The future's so bright that he's gotta wear shades.
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Miley Cyrus still has the ability to shock.
The 22-year-old singer got naked for Candy magazine in a new photoshoot shot by Terry Richardson, and while we've seen the "We Can't Stop" singer in the buff before , it's her provocative poses that's sure to get people talking.
Just a sample of some of the shocking pics? In one photo, a topless Miley sucks on a police baton, while another photo has her bending down and playing with sex toys.
She's also completely naked in this shot, but ironically covers her face with a cat.
And let's not forget she's still rocking that armpit hair.
Candy is the first fashion magazine completely dedicated to celebrating transvestism, transexuality, crossdressing and androgyny. To see all nine of Miley's limited edition covers, click here .
Though despite all of her controversial antics, Miley's exes still clearly have a whole lot of love for her. On Thursday, Nick Jonas surprisingly Instagrammed an adorable throwback photo of the two , calling her his "first crush."
"#tbt When you're 13... hanging with your first crush and you're trying to play it cool," Nick wrote.
Miley's ex-fiance, 25-year-old Liam Hemsworth, also opened up about their relationship to Men's Fitness last month, and admitted that he'll always have feelings for the former Disney star.
"I mean, look -- we were together five years, so I don't think those feelings will ever change," Liam candidly said. "And that’s good because that proves to me that it was real. It wasn't just a fling. It really was an important part of my life and always will be. She's a free spirit. I think she'll always surprise people with what she does, but she's not a malicious person in any way. She's a young girl who wants to do what she wants to do."
"You fall in love with who you fall in love with; you can never choose," he added. "I guess some people just come with a little more baggage."
ET recently talked to Miley's 28-year-old sister, Brandi Cyrus, who had nothing but nice things to say about the handsome Hunger Games star.
"They were together so long," Brandi said. "For me, exes, they're like family... They're always gonna be like family."
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