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It felt as if that night wouldn't pass. I had a throbbing headache and couldn't stop crying. I don't remember when I slept off. I woke up to find my husband standing in front of my bed with last night's question: "So, what have you decided? Is your answer yes or no?"
I didn't know what to say. I gathered some courage to speak up and mumbled: "Please go to the office, I'll call you by evening and let you know my answer, I promise."
He threatened: "I will call you myself at 4pm. I want the answer and it should be 'yes'. Otherwise be ready to get punished."
By punishment, he meant anal sex. He knew that it was extremely painful for me and he used it as a tool to torture me.
He and his elder sister left for the office. I was now alone and struggling with my thoughts.
#HerChoice is a series of true life-stories of 12 Indian women. These accounts challenge and broaden the idea of the "modern Indian woman" - her life choices, aspirations, priorities and desires.
I was afraid that my father would be angry but his response amazed me. "Pack your bags and get out of there," he said.
I took a book, gathered my educational certificates and rushed towards the bus station.
After boarding the bus, I sent a message to my husband. "My answer is 'no' and I am going back home," it said. After that I switched off my mobile phone.
After a few hours, I was home, surrounded by my family. I had left my husband's house after only two months of marriage.
I met my husband, Sahil, when I was in the final year of graduation. He was a jovial man. I liked being around him and with time we fell in love.
We used to go on dates, talk for countless hours on phone. It seemed as if life was almost too kind to me.
But this rosy romance did not continue for long. Gradually I started realising that our relationship lacked equality. It wasn't what I had been looking for.
Our relationship was becoming like my parents' relationship. The only difference; my mother kept silent while I could not stop myself from speaking up.
My father used to scream at my mother for petty things. He would even hit her and the only thing she responded with was tears.
When Sahil and I had an argument, it would often turn into a scuffle. He would use force to get intimate with me and scream at me if I refused.
I remember him once asking me: "Suppose I hit you someday, then what would you do?"
The question stunned me. I controlled my anger with great difficulty and replied, "I would break up with you that very day."
What he said next shocked me even more. He said, "It means you don't love me. Love should be unconditional."
After this, we didn't talk for almost a month.
Our fights became more frequent. Many times I'd try to end our relationship but he would apologise every time. I wanted to get rid of him forever and don't know why I wasn't able to do it.
Meanwhile, I was being pressured into marriage.
I was a teacher now. I'd be in class, teaching children and my parents would call me.
The same conversation would be repeated. "What have you thought about marriage? Why don't you marry Sahil? If not him then let us find a suitable match for you. At least think about your younger sisters…"
If anything went wrong at home, it would be blamed on my staying single.
Mother fell sick because I wasn't getting married. My father's business suffered losses because I wasn't getting married.
I was so frustrated that I finally said yes to marriage. I was still not ready for it and didn't believe Sahil's promise that he would change his attitude.
My fears came true after our wedding. Sahil made me a puppet, dancing to his tunes.
I was fond of poetry and used to my write my poems on Facebook. He forbade me from doing it. He even started dictating what I should wear.
One day he told me that I should finish all my reading and writing work by night. "If you leave me dissatisfied in bed, I will have to go to someone else."
He'd say that I wasn't making him happy and would advise me to watch pornography so I could learn some techniques.
And then he got this obsession with seeking work in Mumbai.
He said: "You stay here, do your job and send me money to support me there, and then you take out a loan so I can buy a house."
This is what he wanted me to say yes to. That night he had pushed me on the bed and forced me into anal sex just for that yes.
A line had been crossed. I left him the morning after.
I was a well-educated woman who could earn and live on her own. Yet, my heart was sinking when I left Sahil's home.
There was a fear of being judged by my own family and society. But even bigger than that was the pain in my heart.
When I reached home, my hair was dishevelled and eyes swollen as I had cried all night.
Newly married women look ravishing when they visit home for the first time after marriage. But my face was pale and the keen eyes of my neighbours guessed why.
People started pouring in. Some would say: "Such a terrible thing has happened to you." Others consoled me that Sahil would come to apologise and take me back.
Then there were a few who thought that a woman should not make such a harsh choice over petty issues.
Everyone had something to say but their opinions could not change my decision.
It has been seven months since I left Sahil's home and now I am choosing my own path. I have received a fellowship; I am doing a job and studying as well.
We have been going to police stations and courts as the legal procedure of divorce is not over yet.
I still wake up with a start at night. I still have nightmares.
I haven't been able to forget what I had to face but I am trying to move on in earnest.
My trust in love and relationships is definitely shaken, but not broken yet. I have decided to take some time for myself. I am proud that I didn't stay silent and got out of this abusive relationship before it was too late.
That is why I believe that my future will be better than my past and present.
This is a true life-story of a woman who lives in western India as told to BBC reporter Sindhuvasini Tripathi, produced by Divya Arya. The woman's identity has been kept anonymous on request.
BBC 100 Women names 100 influential and inspirational women around the world every year and shares their stories. Find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and use #100Women
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We made a list of the best teen movie v-card scenes – good, bad and ugly. Because virginity... who needs it?
By Kate Wertheimer and Phil de Semlyen Posted: Thursday June 24 2021
Losing one’s virginity – be it romantically, awkwardly or otherwise – is a teenage rite of passage (perhaps the teenage rite of passage). While it pops up in a miscellany of adult-oriented movies, like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Call Me By Your Name, it’s an absolute fixture in teen flicks. The motivation behind most teens' actions can be boiled down to one thing: sex, without which we wouldn’t have the following great scenes. 
This sweaty, sun-dappled sex scene is pretty magical, we have to admit. Sebastian, ever the gentleman, asks if Annette is okay (um, she seems great) while Counting Crows' "Colorblind" plays in the background... but it was 1999, okay? Don't lie and say the whole thing didn't stir your loins.
Poor McLovin. He only got in one thrust before being rudely interrupted by his cockblocking cop friends, scaring away his lady friend and driving him to his inhaler. But oh, what a thrust.
Lux Lisbon is living the Platonic Ideal of the American teen experience: she’s a beautiful suburban blonde who is crowned homecoming queen before losing her virginity to her king under the lights of her high school’s football field. Unfortunately for Lux, she’s in a Sofia Coppola movie, which means that she’s going to wake up the next morning near the 50-yard line, that teen dream quickly replaced by the cold light of day.
When Di accidentally drives on the freeway, the fear of death drives her and Murray into one another's arms (beds). Like Cher says, "Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize how important love is."
"I think if we fuck, you would love it." So says Telly, the self-proclaimed "virgin surgeon," as he prepares to relieve another barely-teenage victim of her innocence. This is cherry-popping as an act of unthinking existential desperation, a way for the unloved Telly to leave his mark on the world. How the girl in question feels about it is, rather cruelly, left unexplored.
Unless you also lost your virginity in a seedy baseball dugout while Jackson Browne crooned "Somebody's Baby" on the soundtrack of your mind, you can't even begin to understand the psychic trauma endured by Jennifer Jason Leigh's Stacy. Also, that bench has got to hurt. But it's the poolhouse sex (pictured above) that everyone remembers... we wonder why?
Ben and McKinley's romance is by far our favorite subplot in Wet Hot American Summer. And while the hippie wedding scene is magical, it just doesn't beat sweaty man sex in a sports shed, complete with tube socks and loose balls (we mean soccer balls, perv).
Loathing turns to lust when former childhood friends Denise and Kenny are locked in a bathroom together all night. And Kenny's creepy love backpack comes in handy after all.
A sun-warmed coming-of-age film concerned with popping cherries (and the odd peach), Call Me By Your Name’s abashed-but-sincere virginity scene shows that it’s possible to express and repress your desires at the same time. When 17-year-old Elio (Timothée Chalamet) hooks up for a roll on the lawn with Marzia (Esther Garrel), its pleasures can’t mask the fact that his stronger urges are for studly American Oliver (Armie Hammer). Bonus points for doing the deed ’80s-style in double denim.
This is arguably the most heartbreaking loss-of-virginity scene in cinema, as a gang of bored Texas teens round up slow-witted Billy and drag him down to the corpulent local hooker to make a man of him. He comes too soon, she punches him in the face, and another hapless kid loses what little innocence he had left.
Three bored band-aids (note: no Penny Lane) strip and deflower William for fun. Maybe not the most romantic scenario, but we can think of worse entrées into manhood.
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