Teens First Black Dick
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Teens First Black Dick
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Some wives like to knit. Others prefer book clubs. Mine likes big, black penis. She can't get enough. Watch as she and her hot-wife friends stuff enormous black meat into their once tight, p... Read all Some wives like to knit. Others prefer book clubs. Mine likes big, black penis. She can't get enough. Watch as she and her hot-wife friends stuff enormous black meat into their once tight, pink holes. Youre gonna love it...just like I do. Some wives like to knit. Others prefer book clubs. Mine likes big, black penis. She can't get enough. Watch as she and her hot-wife friends stuff enormous black meat into their once tight, pink holes. Youre gonna love it...just like I do.
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Nov. 19, 2008
This is really sad for hydrangeas everywhere.
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While you were watching Gossip Girl Monday night, a bunch of theater folks wrote, directed, and staged six one-act plays in the span of 24 hours to benefit the Urban Arts Partnership. The night afforded the opportunity to watch many an absurd situation: David Cross and Rosie Perez fake-fucking on a pile of stuffed animals, and Elijah Wood and Pablo Schreiber (Liev’s hot younger brother) slinking around the stage wearing adult diapers. But our favorite moments came from Farragut North playwright Beau Willimon’s one-act about two laid-off Lehman Brothers bankers hitting on tourist girls in Germany. Mostly because it included these lines between Julia Stiles and Alexie Gilmore:
And this one line about Stiles’s character’s first time in bed with a black man:
While you were watching Gossip Girl Monday night, a bunch of theater folks wrote, directed, and staged six one-act plays in the span of 24 hours to benefit the Urban Arts Partnership. The night afforded the opportunity to watch many an absurd situation: David Cross and Rosie Perez fake-fucking on a pile of stuffed animals, and Elijah Wood and Pablo Schreiber (Liev’s hot younger brother) slinking around the stage wearing adult diapers. But our favorite moments came from Farragut North playwright Beau Willimon’s one-act about two laid-off Lehman Brothers bankers hitting on tourist girls in Germany. Mostly because it included these lines between Julia Stiles and Alexie Gilmore:
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What would you do if you woke up one morning and your genitals, were not your own? This is a day in the life of a white man with a black man's penis. What would you do if you woke up one morning and your genitals, were not your own? This is a day in the life of a white man with a black man's penis. What would you do if you woke up one morning and your genitals, were not your own? This is a day in the life of a white man with a black man's penis.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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