Teens First Anal
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Teens First Anal
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Gwyneth Paltrow has imparted her unsolicited advice on many things – from vagina steaming to ex-purging bra-burning – and now she's decided to tell us what she's learned about anal sex.
In the Sex Issue of Goop , Paltrow's lifestyle site, readers are told that if "anal turns you on, you are definitely not alone".
"First it was shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it's practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire – or so a quick scan of any media, from porn to HBO, will tell you,' says Goop. "But the reality about anal is not, actually, that everyone's doing it."
The piece points out that while "somewhere near half" of homosexual men practise anal sex, the number of heterosexual men and women who've tried it "vacillates between 30 and 40 percent".
The piece then offers question-and-answer-based advice from the research psychoanalyst and author Paul Joannides , who has published a book on sexuality called The Guide To Getting It On!
He goes on to explain the health risks of anal sex, how to modify the anal sex seen in porn, how to make sure your anal experience is a positive one and what should we be telling our children about anal intercourse.
So there we have the completely unprompted Gwyneth Paltrow guide to anal sex. You're welcome.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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