Teens 13 Years

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Experiences rapid changes in physical appearance
Changes in appearance happen at different rates which can create anxiety for many young people
Exhibit a wide range of growth patterns between genders



Concerned about physical development and appearance
See themselves as always being center stage
Strive for independence yet want and need adult approval



Seeks trust and acceptance from peers
Questions authority figures
Tends to reject solutions offered by parents



Developing skills in the use of logic
Can solve problems that have more than one variable
Find justice and equality to be important issues



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Medically reviewed by Tyra Tennyson Francis, MD



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Medically reviewed by Tyra Tennyson Francis, MD



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Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD



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Medically reviewed by Joel Forman, MD



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Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD



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Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD



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Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD



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Medically reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP


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Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved





Verywell Family is part of the Dotdash publishing family.



When your child shifts from being a 12-year-old kid to a 13-year-old adolescent, you're likely to see some interesting changes. The mental shift kids make as they begin to see themselves as teenagers, combined with the physical changes their bodies experience, can make early adolescence an interesting time.


Your 13-year-old will be sensitive to their changing bodies and take notice of the changes in their peers. Your teen may worry that they are different or may wonder if they are abnormal because they aren't growing body hair or because they haven't hit a growth spurt yet.


This can be hard for parents because your young teen's worries aren't always sensible, but they are real worries to your teen. Assure your teen that everyone develops at different rates and that it's normal for some teens to mature faster than others.


Most 13-year-old teens are dealing with the emotional and physical changes that accompany puberty. It's normal for your teen to feel uncertain, moody, sensitive, and self-conscious at times. And during this time, it becomes more important than ever to fit in with peers.


Boys who physically mature the earliest may be more confident. But girls who mature earlier are often more self-conscious of their bodies.


They grow taller, gain weight, and become physically mature. Girls become fully physically developed during middle adolescence and boys reach physical maturity during late adolescence.


Their rapidly changing physical appearance can lead to self-conscious feelings. Sometimes teens struggle with appearance-related issues, such as acne or being overweight. Body image issues, such as eating disorders, may also develop during the teen years.​


It's important to talk to your teen about body image and how they feel about the changes they're experiencing.


Thirteen-year-olds are dealing with hormonal shifts that can contribute to mood swings . Add school stress or peer problems and their moods may seem to shift from minute to minute.


Your young teen is starting on the road to becoming an independent young adult who "has a say" over their space, their body, and their need for private conversations with their friends.


At this age, most teens feel like the world revolves around them. They might think everyone is staring at them or they may assume everyone else’s behavior is somehow because of them (for example, thinking their friend didn’t text back because they are mad rather than assuming the friend is busy).


Most 13-year-olds experience great fluctuations in their self-esteem. They may feel good about themselves one day and feel extremely inadequate another.


They also tend to seek affirmation from adults that they’re on the right track, even though they claim to want to do things on their own.


While mood swings are usually normal, it's important to keep an eye out for mental health problems. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues may emerge during this time.


As they desire increased independence from their parents, 13-year-olds rely more on friendships. They confide in their peers more and want to spend more time with friends than family.


Peer pressure can be an issue as teens often want to experience a sense of belonging. Teens often switch peers groups throughout the teen years as their interests shift.


Rebellious behavior is sometimes common during the teen years. A teen may develop different personas or go through various phases. Sometimes teens try to shock their parents or want to dress or wear their hair in new ways to express themselves.


Dating and romantic relationships often become important during the early teen years. It’s normal for teens to develop sexual interests.


Be direct with your child when talking about sensitive issues, like drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. In order for your teen to see you as credible, acknowledge the slight upside that tempts teens to try these things. Say something like, “Kids usually think they’re more fun when they’re drinking alcohol,” and then explain the consequences.


While 13-year-olds have fairly good problem-solving skills , they also have difficulty thinking about the future.


They may also struggle to think about the consequences of their behavior before they act. This has to do with different parts of their brains developing at slightly different rates.


It’s common for 13-year-olds to think they’re immune from anything bad happening to them. As a result, they may be more likely to engage in risky behavior.


Thirteen-year-olds develop the ability to think abstractly. Instead of only thinking in terms of tangible objects, they begin to understand concepts such as faith and trust.


They may also think they’re unique and think no one understands them. As they mature, they begin to develop a better understanding of the world and how other people perceive them.


Most 13-year-olds communicate similarly to adults. They comprehend abstract language, such as figurative language and metaphors. They may become less literal and more figurative.


They may become concerned with moral issues as they are able to grasp abstract concepts. They are likely to recognize that breaking rules under certain conditions isn’t always wrong.


While most 13-year-olds have given up their childhood toys, they still play with their friends in a variety of ways. From slumber parties and camping out in the backyard to board games and sports activities, most 13-year-olds want to be active with their friends.


Having fun with peers can be an important social outlet. It can also be instrumental in helping your teen manage stress.


Talk to your teen about the many ways you might solve a single problem. Encourage your child to brainstorm several solutions to a problem before taking action. This can improve your child’s judgment and give them opportunities to practice their critical thinking skills.


By this age, many teens have their own social media accounts and they’re able to communicate with their friends privately. For some teens, this provides a sense of relief as they often talk to their friends in a slightly different manner than they speak to their parents.


For other 13-year-olds, electronic communication means added pressure. They may feel compelled to join in conversations to be accepted by their peers or they may feel as though their friends are having more fun than they are when they view social media pictures.


While all children develop at slightly different rates, it’s important to keep an eye on how your child is progressing.

Some emotional issues or mental health problems may emerge in the early teen years and it’s important to see professional help if you see any red flags. 

If your 13-year-old refuses to shower or has hygiene issues, it could be a cause for concern. By this age, teens should be able to care for their bodies without much prompting.


If your child is struggling academically, it could also be a cause for concern. Sometimes, learning disabilities or ADHD don’t become apparent until the teen years. Talk to your child’s teachers or discuss the issue with your child’s pediatrician if you are concerned.


The teenage years can be a bit of a rollercoaster, for both you and your teen. But if you lay the groundwork now—by giving your teen the skills he needs to make good decisions—the teen years don’t have to be tumultuous.


When your teen makes mistakes, look at it as an opportunity to help them sharpen their skills. If they repeatedly make the same mistakes, or struggle with specific issues, seek professional help.


Teenager Growth & Development: 13 to 18 Years (Adolescent)
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Teens going through puberty will have many changes in their developing bodies, as well as advances in their social and emotional growth.
There is a broad range of time in which kids hit puberty-related growth spurts:
The teenage years are also called adolescence. Adolescence is a time for growth spurts and puberty-related changes. An adolescent may grow several inches in several months followed by a period of very slow growth, then have another growth spurt. Changes with puberty (sexual maturation) may occur gradually, or several signs may become visible at the same time. Some teenagers experience these signs of maturity sooner or later than others.
Sexual maturity and other physical changes during puberty are a result of hormonal changes. In boys, it is difficult to know exactly when puberty is coming. There are changes that occur, but they often occur gradually, rather than as a single event.
Girls experience puberty as a sequence of events. Each girl is different and may progress through these changes differently. The following are average ages when puberty changes may occur:
Boys also experience puberty as a sequence of events that typically begin later than girls. While each male adolescent is different, the following are average ages when puberty changes may occur:
The teenage years bring many changes, not only physically, but also mentally and socially. During these years, adolescents increase their ability to think abstractly and eventually make plans and set long-term goals. Each child may progress at a different rate and may have a different view of the world. In general, the following are some of the abilities that may be evident in your adolescent:
As your adolescent begins to seek independence and control, many changes may occur. The following are some themes that may arise during the adolescent stage:
Teens essentially communicate as adults, with increasing maturity throughout high school. As teens seek independence from family and establish their own identity, they begin thinking abstractly and become concerned with moral issues. All of this shapes the way they think and communicate.
During this period, teens spend much of the day outside the home — at school or at after-school activities or jobs and with their friends. But it’s important to try to talk with your teen every day to share opinions, ideas and information. Here are a few tips to help you communicate with your teen:
Teens should be able to grasp word meanings and contexts, understand punctuation and form complex syntactic structures (how words are put together). Communication is more than the use and understanding of words, though — it also includes how teens think of themselves, their peers and authority figures. Explanations may become more figurative and less literal. Teens will also comprehend abstract and figurative language, such as similes, metaphors and idioms.
To understand your teen’s overall language skills and progress, make sure to have ongoing communication with their teachers. If the teachers suspect a language-based learning disability, comprehensive testing will be necessary. This can include a hearing test, psychoeducational assessment (standardized testing to assess learning style as well as cognitive processes) and speech-language evaluation.
Parents often feel that the teen years are a time of difficult communication, when it’s normal for teens to challenge parents and resist authority. But behavior that causes severe disruption in the household may not be normal teen rebellion. If you feel that your relationship is particularly trying, talk about it with your child’s doctor.
As kids enter their teen years, they might lose interest in physical activity. Between school, homework, friends and even part-time jobs, they’re juggling a lot of interests and responsibilities. But regular physical activity can help your teen feel more energetic, improve focus and attention and promote a better outlook. Regular physical activity can also help your teen maintain a healthy weight and prevent heart disease, diabetes and other medical problems that come later in life.
Physical activity guidelines for teens recommend that they get a minimum of 1 hour of moderate to strong physical activity daily. In addition:
Parents should give teens control over how they decide to be physically active. Emphasize that it’s not what they do — they just need to be active. Given the opportunity and interest, teens can get health benefits from almost any activity they enjoy — skateboarding, touch football, yoga, swimming or dancing.
All teens should limit the time spent in sedentary activities, such as watching TV, playing video games and using computers, smartphones or tablets. Motivating teens to trade sedentary activities for physical activity can be the toughest part. Once teens get started with physical activity, however, many enjoy the feelings of well-being, reduced stress and increased strength and energy they get from exercise. As a result, some begin to exercise regularly without nudging from a parent.
Help your teen stay active by finding an exercise plan that fits with their schedule. They may not have time to play a team sport at school or in a local league, but most teens can work physical activity into everyday routines, such as walking to school, doing chores or finding an active part-time job. Gyms may also be an option, as many gyms offer teen memberships. Some teens might feel more comfortable doing home exercise videos or exercise video games (like tennis or bowling). These can be good options, but it’s important to do daily moderate to strong activities too.
If you’re concerned about your teen’s fitness, speak with their doctor. These are some instances where your teen’s doctor may need to get involved:
Getting the right amount of sleep is important for anyone who wants to do well on a test or play their best in sports. Unfortunately, many teens don’t get enough sleep. Most teens need about 8-10 hours of sleep each night.
Teenager sleep patterns are different from those of adults or younger kids. During the teen years, the body’s circadian rhythm (an internal biological clock) is reset, telling your teen to fall asleep later and wake up later. This change is likely due to the brain hormone melatonin, which is released later at night for teens than it is for kids and adults. This can make it harder for teens to fall asleep early.
Check out our Healthy Sleep Tips for Teens for more info.
Reviewed by Dr. Gregory Kennedy , Southern Orange County Pediatric Associates, CHOC Primary Care – June 2021

Your child’s health is important at every stage. Visit CHOC Primary Care for pediatric services near you.

CHOC is affiliated with the UC Irvine School of Medicine

https://www.verywellfamily.com/13-year-old-developmental-milestones-2609025
https://www.choc.org/primary-care/ages-stages/13-to-18-years/
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Teens 13 Years