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Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
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Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
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Trending Topics
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted September 26, 2011
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Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Thank goodness that I can write to you anonymously about my teenage son and his masturbation habits.These topics are certainly not easy for me to talk or write about. I would love to compare notes with my friends who have teenage sons but I am scared to death that this information will leak to their sons and my son will end up getting teased. I would never want that to happen. I treat my relationships with my kids with much respect and care.
So, having said that, here is my issue: I am the mother of a 15-year-old teenager and a 10-year-old boy. The boys have separate bedrooms. Recently, I have become aware that my teenage son has been masturbating several times per week. I am basing this on physical evidence—the status of his bedding, sheets, etc. You get the picture. I don't know what the "normal" frequency is. I'm not sure if I should address this as a problem or not. My husband dismisses this issue. He says that this behavior is perfectly normal and, I quote, that I should "leave a box of tissues in the kid's room and leave him alone." He says that I should be happy that my son is a happy and healthy kid who is interested in his sexuality .
Dr. G., I don't want to make any mistakes here. My son is a good kid. His grades are fine and he has nice friends. I do not want to give you the impression that he runs to his bed at every possible opportunity. In fact, he doesn't spend much time in his room at all. His afterschool time is mostly spent playing sports.
So, what do you think? Does my son have a problem that requires some type of treatment? I certainly don't want to raise a sex addict. Please help.
First, I would like to commend you on a number of things. You respect your son's feelings and your relationship with him. That is excellent. You make it clear that your son's behavior in other areas of his life has not changed. That is very helpful information. I also agree that discussing this issue with a friend who may be even the slightest bit careless could certainly be a major misstep. Finally, talking with your husband and getting his input was also an excellent idea.
My advice provides guidelines only. The rules of masturbation and teenage boys have never been clearly established. Here is my attempt at it.
1. If your son is involved in all areas of his life and is not focusing exclusively on porn and masturbation then it is unlikely that he is developing a sex addiction .
2. If he seems comfortable with himself and is not showing signs of avoidance, confusion, and shame then I would guess that he is probably not experiencing these feelings to any problematic extent.
3. My suggestion is not to introduce shame to this equation. I believe that there is no need, in your particular case, to address your son's behavior directly.
4. Although your husband may have seemed dismissive, his idea about leaving a box of tissues in your son's room is actually not a bad idea. It may indirectly send the message that you are aware of your son's behavior and that you are responding to it in a casual and relaxed manner.
5. As a mother, you may have some discomfort with your son's developing sexuality. This is to be expected.
It sounds like you are a thoughtful, well-intentioned mother. Keep up the good work.
Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their well-intentioned but exhausted parents.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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September 27, 2022 by: Carolyn Droke Twitter
September 26, 2022 by: Derrick Rossignol Twitter
September 20, 2022 by: Carolyn Droke Twitter
The Breaking Bad audition tapes have been around (and mostly unnoticed) on YouTube for over a year, but most folks that have checked them out understandably focused on Aaron Paul’s reel. What they’ve missed, however, is the glory of Anna Gunn — who plays Skyler White — giving Bryan Cranston a handy while having a casual conversation (at least, I think it’s Cranston).
In fact, combined with Dean Norris’ OVER THE TOP audition reel, I get the idea that Breaking Bad was originally envisioned as more of a black comedy than the bleak, bleak drama that it has become.
Finally, if you haven’t seen it, here’s Aaron Paul’s reel. It’s fairly straightforward. Aside from the hair, the character depicted is not that much different than first season Jesse Pinkman.
Part of HuffPost Entertainment. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
This Might Be The Most Awkward Audition Ever
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Part of HuffPost Entertainment. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
The only thing more uncomfortable than casting auditions are casting auditions in which you have to give your screen partner a mock handjob while reciting your lines.
Anna Gunn played Skyler White, the woman we all loved to hate on "Breaking Bad." And while she'll never be our favorite on the show, Gunn deserves some brownie points for what she had to go through during her audition process. For anyone who doesn't remember, in the early seasons of "Breaking Bad," Skyler gets handsy with her husband without ever taking her eyes off an eBay auction.
Forgot how cringe-worthy that scene was? Well, we're here to remind you.
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