Teenage Virgins
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Teenage Virgins
A new study reveals some surprising results.
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The team at SuperDrug Online Doctor has just released a new study on one of the biggest taboos in American culture — virginity. The study, "American Virgin: First-Time Sex Trends of U.S. Males and Females" reveals trends on when Americans are losing their virginity, and what factors affect when this happens. The main one being a lack of sex education at school and at home. Among their various findings, one of the most interesting is that the total number of people who have ever had same-sex sexual contact is 11.5%. That’s more than 1 out of 10 people. To get these results, they analyzed World Health Organization, Center for Disease Control and National Survey of Family Growth data.
For the purpose of this study, the definition of virginity loss is whether the respondent had heterosexual vaginal intercourse. With that in mind, the average age of virginity loss for American men is 16.9 years old, and the average age for American women is 17.2 years old. The percentage of Americans who have never had sex is consistently higher for young women than young men between ages 15-18. Meaning there are more female virgins than male virgins between ages 15-18. What’s interesting is that at age 19, when many teens have left their parents home and are in college, there is a higher percentage of men who haven’t had sex. Meaning, there are more 19-year-old male virgins than there are 19-year-old female virgins.
You may wonder with whom these 15-19-year-olds are losing their virginity. According to American Virgin, “males’ first sexual experiences tend to be with women just six months older than them, while females’ are typically with men nearly a year and a half older.” This trend is probably due to only one of two partners being virgins — you can be the first sexual partner of more than one person. Whatever the reason, to get personal, this definitely brings up memories of being a freshman girl in college and walking by a group of older guys who jokingly referred to me as “fresh meat.” Gross.
While this study doesn’t look at college as a factor for virginity loss, it does look at several other factors: parents, smoking activity, and sex ed. For Americans ages 15-44, about 58.1% were raised by two biological or adoptive parents, and 41.9% were not. The average age of virginity loss in a household with two parents is 17.6 years old. The average age of virginity loss in a household without two parents is 16 years old. This means Americans tend to lose their virginity a year-and-a-half earlier if they do not live with two parents. Furthermore, about 6% of those who didn’t grow up in a household with two parents lost their virginity at age 12 or younger. That’s compared to 2% of those living in a two-parent household.
Since 12 is not an age when legal consent is possible, the study suggests that this reflects the overall prevalence of non-consensual sex reported by all survey respondents: 15.2% of women experienced involuntary sex with men, but only 4.7% of men experienced involuntary sex with women. Overall, the household trend tells us people who grow up in a two-parent household are likely to lose their virginities at an older age.
Another parent-related finding is that over 1 in 4 people surveyed said their parents never talked to them about sex. Interestingly enough, a similar number of people surveyed (though not necessarily the same exact people) did not use a contraceptive the first time they had sex. Parents majorly dropped the ball when it comes to educating their kids on consent — half of people surveyed said their parents never talked about how to say “no” to sex. Same goes for sex ed: 27% of American teenagers never learned how to say “no” to sex in school — and, on average, they’re losing their virginity slightly earlier because of it. This leads us to believe that Americans need some serious educating when it comes to consent .
Lastly, let’s talk smoking and sex. Random, right? Maybe not — the study looked at data regarding smokers and nonsmokers, and though there's no evidence that smoking causes virginity loss, The American Virgin suggests, “maybe women who smoke are risk-taking in other ways.” (The study only looks at females in this section because data relating male smokers and age of virginity loss was unavailable.) They report frequent smokers have sex nearly two years earlier than infrequent smokers and nonsmokers. Females who smoke 2 or more cigarettes a day lost their virginity at an average age of 15.6, while females who reported smoking 1 or fewer cigarettes a day lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5 years old. While we love women who aren’t afraid to take risks, please avoid risk-taking that causes 1 in 5 deaths a year.
And there you have it. Overall, this study suggests that schools are severely under-educating their students about sex, and that parents are not picking up the slack at home. The irony in this is that 28 states (more than half) do not legally require schools to have sex education programs, and this is primarily because people feel sexual education should be taught at the parent’s discretion. In some cases that means schools offer optional sex-ed classes that require permission slips from parents, but in other cases it means there are no sex-ed classes offered at all.
Not only is sex ed necessary for understanding basic human reproduction, but sex ed is responsible for teaching people from a young age that consent is the difference sex and rape. Consequently, consent is the difference between having fun and traumatizing someone for life. Unfortunately, some parents who are uncomfortable with sex education in schools are also uncomfortable with sex education at home, leaving teens completely unprepared for sexual encounters. This leaves us with one question: if no one teaches teens about sex, how will they know what consent is?
For more information on sexual education, check out these videos below.
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Abstinence, sex education and the consequences of misinformation are examined in this documentary set in Lubbock, Texas, where teenagers are encouraged to take purity pledges, promising to remain virgins until they get married.
The Truth About Tampons, Virginity, and Teenage Girls
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Kliegman, RM, et. al. Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics . Elsevier; 2015.
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Barbara Poncelet, CRNP, is a certified pediatric nurse practitioner specializing in teen health.
Lindsey Waldman, MD, RD, is a board-certified pediatrician and pediatric endocrinologist.
When it comes to teens and the use of tampons , there are many questions and misconceptions. Sometimes, both parents and teens may wonder whether tampons will have an impact on virginity. Using a tampon has no impact on whether on not someone is a virgin.
Discuss facts about menstruation hygiene products with your teen so she understands exactly what is happening with her body—and that choosing to use tampons will not impact her virginity. She may hear kids at school discuss this with terms like "pop her cherry," "lose her virginity," or other crude phrases that can cause worry, confusion, and embarrassment.
It is also good to talk about what it means to be a virgin and the values your family has when it comes to sex. Also, note that virginity is not a medical definition but rather a cultural concept essentially designating those that have not yet had sex.
Still, the question of whether or not using a tampon takes away a girl's virginity continues to worry many teens. They may be concerned that inserting anything (in this case, a tampon) into the vagina will somehow constitute sex. So, the question is really asking about two separate issues.
This is a complicated question and you might get different answers depending on who you ask. For women, the technical definition of a virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse where a man's penis penetrates her vagina. If this is your definition of virginity, then a woman is still a virgin after using a tampon. Others may define losing virginity more broadly to include any intimate partner sexual acts. Either way, using a tampon has no impact on virginity status.
The hymen is a thin membrane with no biological function that surrounds the opening of the vagina. From birth on, the hymen naturally thins and opens up. In fact, it often forms a half-moon-shaped or donut-shaped rim around the exterior opening of the vaginal canal. If the hymen stretches across part of the opening, there are often one or more holes in it. Sometimes, the hymen is very minimal or not there at all. All of those scenarios are perfectly normal. 1
Only rarely (between 1 in 1,000 and 1 in 10,000 girls) does this membrane cover the entire opening of the vagina. By the time a girl reaches puberty , there is usually more than enough space to allow menstrual blood to pass. If the hymen completely covered the vagina, menstruation would not be possible without surgery. 2
For the vast majority of girls, well before they reach adolescence and begin menstruating , the hymen tissue is thin enough to allow for the use of tampons without any discomfort.
Historically, the hymen has been looked at as the mark of virginity in many cultures. In some cases, when a virgin who has an intact hymen has sexual intercourse for the first time, the hymen will stretch and/or tear and bleed. 1
In the past, it was often assumed that if a girl didn't bleed after the first time she had sexual intercourse, she must not have been a virgin. This is completely false but this misconception persists in popular culture both in modern and traditional cultures. In fact, girls who have sex for the first time often do not bleed or experience any injury to their hymen, which is often simply a minimal rim of tissue around the vaginal opening that does not change with intercourse. 2
It is not typical for any woman's hymen to be fully intact, so its presence alone cannot be proof of a woman's virginity or experience with penetrative sex. Moreover, medical experts dispute the validity (and discourage the use) of the terms "intact" or "broken" in relation to the hymen, as they are inaccurate and sexist. Below are other truths about the hymen: 2
Virginity has to do with sexual activity, not the presence of a hymen or whether or not a girl uses a tampon. 1 However, despite medical evidence to the contrary, worries about using tampons or "broken" hymens persist, causing unnecessary anxiety and shame for many girls (and parents). Learning more about their bodies, tampon use, and what virginity really means can help girls feel more confident about making the feminine hygiene choices that work best for them.
Mishori R, Ferdowsian H, Naimer K, Volpellier M, McHale T. The little tissue that couldn't - dispelling myths about the Hymen's role in determining sexual history and assault . Reprod Health . 2019;16(1):74. doi:10.1186/s12978-019-0731-8
Ramareddy RS, Kumar A, Alladi A. Imperforate hymen: Varied presentation, new associations, and management . J Indian Assoc Pediatr Surg . 2017;22(4):207-210. doi:10.4103/0971-9261.214451
By Barbara Poncelet
Barbara Poncelet, CRNP, is a certified pediatric nurse practitioner specializing in teen health.
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Abstinence, sex education and the consequences of misinformation are examined in this documentary set in Lubbock, Texas, where teenagers are encouraged to take purity pledges, promising to remain virgins until they get married.
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