Teenage Siblings

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Suitable for 9-18 years
Teenage sibling fighting
‘Who said you could wear my clothes?’ ‘Get out of my room!’
It’s normal for teenage siblings to fight over all sorts of things. Teenage siblings argue just as much as younger children, but they tend to fight about different things. They might also use different and more grown-up language.
Sibling fighting can be stressful for you, but it has a useful purpose. When children interact with parents, they learn about authority. Interactions between brothers and sisters help them learn about relating to peers.
Also, if it’s handled the right way, sibling fighting can help children learn important life skills, like how to:
Listening to children’s fights can be infuriating and stressful, but this stage will pass. They might be fighting today, but siblings can offer each other support and protection at other times. Sibling squabbles can also help your children learn to be better friends, partners and workmates later in life.
Here are some suggestions for handling fights between teenage siblings.
Resolving arguments by themselves teaches children essential life skills, so avoid always stepping in to solve problems for them – although this might be faster and less stressful. Try asking your children to listen to each other’s perspective. Then guide them towards a compromise, possibly using steps for problem-solving.
If your children need some help with conflict, coach them through it. You can model problem-solving for them by helping them work out what they’re arguing about, asking them what they each want, and prompting them to come up with solutions together.
You can look at what the conflict is about rather than focusing on who started it. After all, if they’re fighting, they’re both responsible.
If you take sides, one child might feel unfairly treated and feel you’re showing favouritism. It’s better to get both teenagers to state their problems, and then brainstorm possible solutions. Writing things down can be a good idea, to make sure they get all the brainstorming ideas on paper.
You can also motivate your children to resolve the fight themselves. For example, if they’re fighting over the games console, take away their access to it until they can work out a solution together.
As your children work through this process, it’s good – although not always easy – for them to try to stay calm. They might need to take a break to calm down before they work on the problem.
Keeping track of how fights get resolved will help you make sure one child isn’t dominating the other. Make sure that compromise does happen, and that they’re each getting something. If they can’t compromise, create a consequence for both of them.
Violent verbal or physical fights can harm the long-term relationship between siblings and can affect their mental health. You need to step in if your children are being verbally or physically violent towards each other.
In this short video demonstration, two teenage siblings are having a problem sharing and respecting each other’s space. So far, they haven’t been able to solve the problem themselves, and this has led to conflict and fights. Their dad uses a problem-solving approach to resolve their ongoing conflict.
You might be able to reduce or avoid fights between teenage siblings with a little bit of groundwork.
If your children are regularly fighting in physical, menacing or aggressive ways, you need to do something about it. It’s important to seek help when there’s conflict that won’t stop or that’s having a negative or distressing effect on others.
The best place to start is by talking to your GP, who can give you advice and, if necessary, refer you to a psychologist who specialises in children’s or teenagers’ behaviour issues. It’s best to involve both children, because taking only one child for help with sibling fighting might make that child feel solely responsible.
Sibling fights peak in early adolescence, particularly when the youngest sibling hits this age.
If a younger teenage child sees an older sibling as another authority figure, fighting can increase as the younger child tries to gain independence from both parents and siblings. When siblings are closer to each other in age – for example, by one or two years – they tend to fight more as the youngest reaches early adolescence.
Butting up against siblings is one way teenagers establish themselves as separate people with distinct likes and dislikes. This is part of their developmental journey towards autonomy and independence. How siblings work through their conflicts shapes the way they feel about and relate to each other.
Teenagers choose their friends based on similar likes and interests – but they can’t choose their siblings. They might even feel they don’t have much in common with them (apart from the same gene pool).
The most common areas of conflict between teenage siblings are equality and fairness, personal space, possessions and friends.
Campione-Barr, N., & Smetana, J.G. (2010). ‘Who said you could wear my sweater?’ Adolescent siblings’ conflicts and associations with relationship quality. Child Development, 81, 464-471. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01407.x.
Dirks, M.A., Persram, R., Recchia, H.E., & Howe, N. (2015). Sibling relationships as sources of risk and resilience in the development and maintenance of internalizing and externalizing problems during childhood and adolescence. Clinical Psychology Review, 42, 145-155. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2015.07.003.
Doughty, S.E., McHale, S.M., & Feinberg, M.E. (2015). Sibling experiences as predictors of romantic relationship qualities in adolescence. Journal of Family Issues, 36(5), 589-608. doi: 10.1177/0192513X13495397.
Lam, C.B., Solmeyer, A.R., & McHale, S.M. (2012). Sibling relationships and empathy across the transition to adolescence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 41(12), 1657-1670. doi: 10.1007/s10964-012-9781-8.
Tucker, C.J., & Updegraff, K. (2010). Who’s the boss? Patterns of control in adolescent sibling relationships. Family Relations, 59(5), 520-532. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3729.2010.00620.x.
Yucel, D., Bobbitt-Zeher, D., & Downey, D. (2018). Quality matters: Sibling relationships and friendship nominations among adolescents. Child Indicators Research, 11(2), 523-539. doi: 10.1007/s12187-017-9448-9.
Teenage sibling fights are normal – the key is how you handle them. Our video guide shows how different approaches to sibling fighting get different results.
Children fight because they’re still learning skills to manage emotions and sort out disagreements. When fights work out fairly, children build life skills.
If you have a teenager, you know conflict is normal – but you still need ways of dealing with conflict. Our guide to conflict management has the essentials.
Social and emotional changes in pre-teens and teenagers
Adolescence is a time of big social changes and emotional changes for your child. Here’s what to expect and how to support your child through the changes.
Relationships with parents and families: why teenagers need them
Teenagers need parents and families for love, support and guidance – though it might not always seem like it. Read how to strengthen bonds with your teen.
Active listening is a powerful tool to improve communication and build a positive relationship with your teenage child. Our guide explains the steps.
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3,597 teenage siblings stock photos are available royalty-free.
Portrait of 2 teenage siblings or friends. Isolated on white
Portrait of 2 teenage siblings or friends. Isolated on white
Teenage siblings fighting with boxing gloves. On white background
Teenage siblings fighting with boxing gloves. On white background
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Teenage siblings fighting with boxing gloves. On white background
Teenage siblings smiling. On white background
Teenage siblings smiling. On white background
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Teenage siblings having fight in kitchen. Teenagers having bad quarrel using pan in kitchen
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Siblings playing game online from laptop. Teenage siblings playing game online from laptop indoors
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Teenage siblings having fight in kitchen. Teenagers having bad quarrel using pan in kitchen
Teenage siblings having fight in kitchen. Teenagers having bad quarrel using pan in kitchen
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Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Teenagers Relaxing After Hiking. Two teenage siblings are sitting on a pebble beach after hiking. They are both looking at the girls` smart phone
Teenagers Relaxing After Hiking. Two teenage siblings are sitting on a pebble beach after hiking. They are both looking at the girls` smart phone
Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Kids siblings peeling grape fruit make funny hat. Creative kids teenage siblings brother and sister laughing peeling grape fruit make funny hat from it
Family in the kitchen together. A mom and toddler daughter bake together while the teenage siblings text on their phones
Cheerful teenage siblings. Smiling boy giving piggyback ride to his cheerful twin sister
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Teenage girl showing mobile phone to siblings. Teenage girl texting on mobile phone while younger siblings watch
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Teenage friends or siblings. Isolated on white
Teenage friends or siblings. Isolated on white
Happy teenage latin girl smiling while spending time with her siblings, using digital tablet, lying on the bed at home. Decorated for hristmas. Children
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Teen girl texting, younger siblings watch. Teenage girl with mobile phone texting while younger siblings watch
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Southeast Asian ethnicity teenage girls laughing together having fun viewing information from social media through. Southeast Asian ethnicity teenage girls
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Studio shot of young African siblings using phone together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana
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Studio shot of young African siblings together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana isolated
Studio shot of young African siblings together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana isolated
Studio shot of young African siblings together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana isolated
Studio shot of young African siblings together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana isolated
Studio shot of young African siblings taking selfie together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana
Studio shot of young African siblings taking selfie together. Studio shot of young African women and young African teenage boy as siblings together from Botswana
Portrait Of Siblings With Teenage Sister Playing On Outdoor Trampoline In Garden
Siblings With Teenage Sister Playing On Outdoor Trampoline In Garden
Siblings With Teenage Sister Playing On Outdoor Trampoline In Garden
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Teenage boy happy to meet his newborn sister for the first time. Siblings: Teenage boy happy to meet his newborn sister for the first time
Teenage boy happy to meet his newborn sister for the first time. Siblings: Teenage boy happy to meet his newborn sister for the first time
Teenage brother and little baby sister playing on the floor. Siblings: teenage brother and little baby sister playing on the floor
Cute brothers playing in summer park. Smiling siblings spending time together. Cheerful two brothers playing in summer park. Cute siblings spending time together
Children having picnic in park playing with smartp. Teenage girl texting on mobile phone while younger siblings watch
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
Cute big sister admiring her baby brother. Adorable teenage girl holding her new baby boy brother. Kids with large age gap. Big. Age difference between siblings
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