Teenage Girl Dating Games

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Teenage Girl Dating Games
Part of HuffPost News. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
This Video Game Is Helping Me Experience Teenage Dating As A Girl
Fei Lu, who transitioned during the pandemic, didn't get to have teen romances as a girl. Here's how she's found joy living vicariously through otome heroines' romances.
Jul 25, 2022, 12:44 PM EDT | Updated Jul 25, 2022
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As a transgender woman who transitioned in her mid-20s, I consider myself lucky. This phase of womanhood is incredible. That being said, I wish I could have dated as a girl during my teenage years. Every day, I’m inundated with depictions of magical, carefree teen romances dotted with first kisses, first dates and even first heartbreaks that ultimately teach a person what they want from love. I feel robbed. It’s that profound FOMO that ultimately led me to otome games, which are essentially Japanese dating sims — and they’ve given me the most unexpected joy.
In the story-based otome games such as Olympia Soirée , Collar x Malice and Nil Admirari no Tenbin , for example, female protagonists meet love interests and experience positive or negative story conclusions via in-game decisions. I started playing them with no particular intention in mind (I bought Olympia Soirée because the trailer was beautiful), but soon, Twitter’s otome game community, otometwt, opened up a new world for me.
I began to embrace the way I could virtually experience girlhood alongside the games’ heroines. When I saw them fall in love with the love interest, I felt my heart flutter. When I accidentally triggered a bad ending, I’d cry with them. I saw a piece of myself that I never knew in these fictional heroines, and I felt a little relief.
After poking around in otome discussions online, I found that otome games provide a healthy sense of escapism for women in general, often because of the romance and storytelling elements. “Let’s say you just broke up with someone because they cheated on you: You can play a nice fluffy otome game and escape into a world” where guys aren’t going to screw you over, U.K.-based YouTuber Luli ( @PeachTheOtome ) tells me. (Luli, like other gamers quoted in this article, doesn’t use her full name to identify herself online for security reasons.)
Washington, D.C.-based game reviewer Naja Beck, 31, ( @BlerdyOtome ) says gaming helps her de-stress from her day job at a pharmaceutical science nonprofit, where she helps clients acclimate to the company’s benefits and resources. “My job is very much dealing with people and their problems, and I need a break,” she says. “[Otome games] gave me autonomy over the story, and how to proceed from start to finish. I play like a fairy godmother overseeing [the heroine’s] adventure, sprinkling nuggets of wisdom to help them on their way.”
Luli and Beck, both cisgender women, describe how the games stir up the carefree, hope-filled feelings of youth. “There are infinite possibilities [in girlhood],” Beck says. “You’re not jaded and you have the potential to do whatever you want.”
Since living vicariously through these characters, as I’ve learned, can be even more freeing for trans women, I wondered about the psychology behind why I love them. What is it about those first relationships that can determine how an individual processes romantic feelings in adulthood? And why would a transgender person feel a sense of loss if they didn’t experience adolescent dating as their true gender identity?
Early adolescence dating experiences can affect development in multiple ways, I’m told. “If you have a positive dating experience, that can help you continue building healthy attachments and exploring yourself, like experiencing sex for the first time,” says New York City-based social worker and therapist Laura Wu, who works with queer millennial and Gen Z individuals.
Adversely, she adds, abuse and traumatic experiences can have negative developmental effects. For many queer and transgender individuals, it’s the lack of positive formative dating experiences as one’s authentic gender that can leave an emotional void.
“I do think and I have seen TGNC folx who feel like they’ve lost out [on adolescence] and they have to go through a second puberty,” she says, speaking of transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. And for some, otome games could theoretically target those feelings. My gaming experience has been therapeutic, but is that the case across the board?
“I do think that with dating simulators, there are pros and cons,” she says. “I can imagine pros include [players] expressing [themselves] in a physically safer way than expressing yourself in person, and I’m not saying that there’s necessarily emotional safety.”
Wu (or any good mental health expert, really) can’t assert that dating simulators are healthy or unhealthy. “Maybe [gamers] are living in an area where there aren’t a lot of out queer people, the dating pool is small, or live where being outed would affect their livelihood,” she says. For these individuals, dating sims could offer a temporary mental escape. The games allow me to reimagine what life could have been if I transitioned earlier in life — and therefore round out the experience I’m having as a woman now.
It is safe to say that otome games offer a vehicle in which to play with gender. Lys, 26, a trans man gamer in the Midwest, plays otome games as a third-party observer rather than self-insertion (where players visualize themselves as the heroine). “For me, otome games aren’t a form of escapism so much as a way to keep the connections I held dear as a teen still figuring themselves out,” he says. “While there’s tension in my attachment to something stereotypically feminine that doesn’t match how I see myself, I can’t comfortably immerse myself in bishoujo games made for men either.” For many players, the role a gamer plays can drastically change the gaming experience.
Philippines-based gamer Quill, 19, identifies as a demiboy and echoes similar sentiments. “I view the characters as people I can project onto and relate to, and by watching their interactions, I get to live through the experience of not being seen as weird or an outcast for being ‘different’ in my gender identity and sexuality.” For him, the strongest feelings of belonging and family come from playing otome games because he can “daydream about [family] being accepting and loving if I came out to them.”
Twenty-year-old Boston-based gamer Lincoln is a gay trans man who tells me that otome games actually helped him realize his gender identity. “When I am playing an otome game, it’s not only to see attractive characters, but a way to imagine myself in one of their bodies,” he says. “There was a period where I stopped playing otome, convincing myself that I could not enjoy games made for straight women, but I found myself missing the genre. I wanted to be swept off my feet, and although it may be an effeminate wish, I am no less a man for wanting a hot guy to tell me that he loves me.”
Similar to Lincoln, when I play otome games, I enjoy the feeling of being romanced by a fictional character. Those positive emotions have helped me feel confident in my own body, significantly elevating the confidence I have for who I’ve become, both physically and emotionally.
Regardless of your gender, otome games can be more than fluffy pastimes — they can be a conduit for critical self-realization. Before I discovered otome games, I tried everything in my power to “come to terms” with painful emotions I couldn’t pinpoint: I went to therapy, consumed media created by trans authors on transgender identity and experiences, and tried convincing myself to just be grateful I got to transition in the first place. After all, wasn’t I privileged enough to at least get to live as a proud transgender woman in my lifetime when so many others can’t transition due to personal or societal circumstances? Existentially fretting over something as ephemeral as “girlhood” seemed indulgent. But the reality is, I wish I transitioned earlier in my life. And subsequently, I wish I got to experience girlhood. And the fact that I didn’t hurts.
But I can’t turn back time, and to a certain extent, that’s a good thing. I’m grateful I transitioned when I did, because it made me the woman I am today. And thanks to otome games, whenever I’m feeling those emotions I couldn’t pinpoint again, all I have to do is grab my Switch and live vicariously through an otome game heroine.


15 Best Dating Sim Games of All Time

Kai-Ming is a freelance writer with a passion for film, TV, and video games. When he’s not busy writing, he spends his time binging TV shows and listening to podcasts.
Cultured Vultures is a pop culture website established in 2013 covering all things gaming, movies, and more. We eat your words.

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Fall in love with these dating sim games.
Of all the experiences gaming has to offer, there’s nothing quite like a dating sim game. Sure, it’s different from collecting Pokémon or exploring dungeons, but it’s a nice change of pace if you’re looking for an interesting story-based experience that’ll set your heart ablaze.
While most dating sims are associated with anime-like visual novels, more titles have emerged over the years that put an interesting spin on the genre. So if you’re looking for some unique narrative-driven experiences where you’ll meet all sorts of interesting characters, then have we got a treat for you. Here’s a list of the best dating sim games that will have you falling in love all over again.
Ever wanted to date Colonel Sanders? Well, now you can. In I Love You, Colonel Sanders!, players will attempt to romance Colonel Sanders, who’s also their classmate, as they attend a prestigious culinary school.
You’ll meet plenty of quirky characters (including a corgi) in this surreal anime-like visual novel centered around the KFC mascot. In order to win the heart of the Colonel, you’ll have to impress him with your cooking knowledge and abilities.
So get ready to put your cooking skills to the test in this finger-licking-good parody of the dating sim genre.
Developer: Starcolt
Publisher: Alliance Games
In this unique spin on the dating sim genre, players will arrive at the town of Rainbow Bay, where they’ll adopt a dog to care for and mingle with other fellow pet owners.
Best Friend Forever allows you to take care of your dog and improve their skills by scheduling several different tasks throughout the days. You can groom and feed your dog to raise their stats as well.
The game also lets players date whoever they want, which is just great. So if you’re looking for a dating sim filled with characters that are just as passionate about animals as you are, then you can’t go wrong with Best Friend Forever.
You can currently play a demo of it on Steam for free.
Developer: vanripper
Publisher: vanripper
Take control of the titular Helltaker and journey through the depths of Hell as you solve a series of puzzles and meet several demon girls to add to your ever-growing harem. Sounds fun, right?
Helltaker features a pretty out-there concept, but it’s definitely worth playing for anyone who’s interested in fun puzzle games. The puzzles take place on a grid where players have to maneuver Helltaker across the stage by avoiding traps and collecting keys in order to reach the demon girl within a certain number of moves.
At the end of each stage, the player has the chance to recruit a demon girl by answering their questions correctly. But be careful, though: the wrong answer could get you killed.
Developer: Echo Chamber Games
Publisher: Curve Digital
Table Manners is a hysterical VR game where players try to make a good first impression as they interact with all sorts of objects during a dinner date.
You’ll find yourself struggling to perform the simplest tasks, like picking up objects or pouring a drink to the person in front of you. It almost works as some sort of metaphor for the sense of nervousness that one might feel in such a nerve-racking situation.
There’s no shortage of awkward situations, but that’s all part of the fun. Seeing your date’s bewildered reactions at the sight of you trying to pick up a fork is as hilarious as it sounds. So if you’re looking for a fun physics-based game to wreak havoc on, then Table Manners is just what you need.
Developer: Copychaser Games
Publisher: Copychaser Games
Looking for companionship in the afterlife? Speed Dating for Ghosts lets you interact with different ghosts as they tell you their (former) life’s story in a series of speed dates.
As you get to know three of them at a time through some brief initial encounters, you’ll be able to choose which one of them you want to take out on a date, which is where the game gets even more interesting.
The dates in Speed Dating for Ghosts range from haunting sprees to helping other ghosts come to terms with their own death, which is some pretty heavy stuff that you wouldn’t expect by looking at the game’s simple yet charming aesthetic.
Developer: Game Grumps
Publisher: Game Grumps
Ever fantasized about meeting some single dads? Well, look no further. Dream Daddy puts you in the role of a single dad who moves to a new town with his teenage daughter and meets a whole slew of dateable dads.
Customize your dadsona and interact with different types of unique dads, all with their own distinctive looks and personalities. From the Victorian era-obsessed goth dad to the more professional teacher dad, you can’t go wrong with any of these potential partners.
Featuring several sidequests, minigames, and even voice work from members of the Game Grumps web series, Dream Daddy is sure to entertain any player who’s interested in trying out the dating sim genre.
Developer: Red Company/Sega
Publisher: Sega
Originally released in 1996, Sakura Wars features a mix of tactical role-playing mechanics with some visual novel dating sim elements to provide its own distinct experience.
There are two main gameplay modes in Sakura Wars. One is an adventure mode that allows players to interact with other characters and earn their trust, which will come into play as their relationships change throughout the game. The other is a battle mode that places the player in a grid where they’ll fight against demons with the use of mech suits.
With engaging mechanics, an interesting story, and memorable characters, it’s no wonder why the Sakura Wars series is still around to this day.
Made by the same studio behind the Persona games, Catherine: Full Body features many thought-provoking themes that are sure to pique any players’ interest.
The game revolves around Vincent, a 32-year-old engineer who gets involved with multiple women. The game is divided into two sections: a puzzle game where the player has to reach the top of the stage by manipulating blocks in order to advance, and a section where players spend time at a bar where they’ll be able to text, talk to customers, and get drunk.
Catherine: Full Body also features a brand new character to make things even more interesting as Vincent tries to decide which one of three women, if any of them, would be the right match for him.
Developer: Mountains
Publisher: Annapurna Interactive
Florence presents a beautiful yet simple story about love through some easy-to-understand mechanics that evoke all of the ups and downs that come with any serious relationship.
The story follows Florence, a 20-something-year-old woman who’s searching for her place in the world. She comes across a musician named Krish as he plays his cello in the park, and the sparks begin to fly.
Florence is a profound experience that explores themes regarding love, life, and self-actualization. So if any of this sounds interesting to you, then you won’t be disappointed.
Developer: Fiction Factory Games
Publisher: PQube Limited
Set in the year 20XX, an alternate timeline where the video game crash of ’83 never happened, Arcade Spirits presents a reality where arcades still reign supreme as the go-to spot for gaming.
Players will be able to create their own customizable character and start working at Funplex: a popular arcade filled with all sorts of quirky characters. Interactions can range from platonic encounters to more intimate relationships as you get to know the staff members and customers who visit the arcade.
Arcade Spirits is a fun romantic comedy that serves as a love letter to all things video games, and it’s sure to leave players grinning from beginning to end.
Developer: Kyle Seeley
Publisher: Kyle Seeley
Emily Is Away features an early 2000s aesthetic that’ll have anyone reminiscing on those simpler times. Although the game is somewhat linear, the player is constantly presented with several dialogue choices as they attempt to connect with the elusive Emily.
The art direction is pretty accurate in how it manages to capture all of the little details of the time. It’s sort of like a look at your own little time capsule, filled with all of the awkward conversations from your instant messaging days.
If you’re after a quick trip to the past, Emily is Away is sure to provide plenty of 2000s nostalgia.
The Persona series is known for its blend of stylized turn-based RPG action mixed with life sim elements to create a unique gaming experience. The game revolves around using all sorts of creatures (or personas) as you battle against supernatural forces.
While you can’t go wrong with any of the games from the series, Persona 4 features a memorable collection of characters that have become iconic with the series. Throughout the game, you’ll be able to spend your time getting to know your comrades and strengthening your bonds, which will allow your character to acquire even more abilities that would prove useful in battle.
Persona 4 is a fantastic game that’s sure to capture anyone’s attention with its engrossing story, lovable characters, and insanely catchy soundtrack.
Developer: Beautiful Glitch
Publisher: Those Awesome Guys
In Monster Prom , players have three weeks to find a date for the upcoming prom. The school is made up of all sorts of iconic monster archetypes, all with their own unique personalities.
The game also features a variety of different situations depending
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