Teenage Children
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Suitable for 9-18 years Pre-teen and teenage development: what to expect
Last updated or reviewed 09-07-2021
At raisingchildren.net.au we acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live, gather and work. We recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
In the pre-teen and teenage years, children go through many changes – physical, social, emotional and cognitive.
During this time, children’s bodies, emotions and ideas about themselves develop and change at different speeds and times . There’s usually no need to worry if your child goes through some changes earlier or later than their peers.
During adolescence, your family is a secure emotional base where your child feels loved and accepted, no matter what’s going on in the rest of their life. You can build and support your child’s confidence, self-belief, optimism and identity. Strong family relationships can help your child grow into a well-adjusted, considerate and caring adult.
Puberty is the time when your child moves through a series of significant, natural and healthy changes.
Puberty starts when changes in your child’s brain cause sex hormones to start being released in girls’ ovaries and boys’ testes.
This usually happens around 10-11 years for girls and around 11-12 years for boys .
But it’s normal for the start of puberty to range from 8-13 years in girls and 9-14 years in boys .
If you’re concerned about your child and puberty, or about any other aspect of your child’s development during adolescence, talk with your child’s GP. They can reassure you and your child, or refer you to someone who can help.
Pre-teens and teenagers often feel strong and sometimes overwhelming emotions like shame and humiliation. They might know the words for these emotions but still have trouble recognising them when they’re upset. Also, because of brain development, pre-teens and teenagers don’t always have the skills to express and manage emotions in an adult way. That’s why teenagers still need help with understanding and managing emotions.
Young people are busy working out who they are and where they fit in the world . As part of this process, pre-teens and teenagers might try out new or different clothing styles, music, art, friendship groups and so on. They might also want more independence and responsibility. You have an important role in helping your child to develop their identity and a sense of their place in the world.
Staying connected can be an important part of supporting your child’s social and emotional development in the pre-teen and teenage years. Our video guide takes you through options for staying connected , and shows you how different approaches to staying connected can get different results.
Sexuality is a part of who your child is and who they’ll become. Sexuality develops and changes throughout your child’s life. Feeling comfortable with their sexuality and sexual identity is essential to your child’s healthy development.
Talking with you about sex and sexuality will help your child sort through the many messages they get about sexuality from other sources. It can also help your child make positive, safe and informed choices, now and in the future.
Most children grow up thinking of themselves as a girl or a boy and don’t question their gender. But some children and teenagers in all cultures identify as a gender that’s different from the sex they were assigned at birth. These children do well with support from parents, family and the community.
Carr-Gregg, M., & Robinson, E. (2018). Surviving adolescents 2.0 . Penguin.
Jansen, K., & Kiefer, S.M. (2020). Understanding brain development: Investing in young adolescents’ cognitive and social-emotional development. Middle School Journal, 51 (4), 18-25. https://doi.org/10.1080/00940771.2020.1787749.
LoBue, V., Pérez-Edgar, K., & Buss, K.A. (2019). Handbook of emotional development . Springer.
Siegel, D., & Cipriano, E. (2014). Brainstorm: The power and purpose of the teenage brain . Scribe.
Steinberg, L. (2017). Adolescence (11th edn). McGraw Hill.
Zimmermann, P., & Iwanski, A. (2014). Emotion regulation from early adolescence to emerging adulthood and middle adulthood. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 38 (2), 182-194. https://doi.org/ 10.1177/0165025413515405.
Mental health in pre-teens and teenagers
Teen mental health is about happiness, good relationships, exercise, belonging and more. Signs of mental health problems include mood and other changes.
Nutrition and healthy food for teenagers
When teenagers eat a range of healthy food from the five food groups, they get the nutrition they need for health, growth and development in adolescence.
Physical activity for pre-teens and teenagers
Physical activity keeps pre-teen and teenage bodies and minds healthy. At this age, your child needs at least one hour of activity each day. Find out more.
Sleep patterns change in the teenage years, but your teenage child still needs plenty of good-quality sleep for health, memory and energy. Here’s how to help.
Parents: role models and positive influences for pre-teens and teenagers
Parents can be positive role models for teens in what they do and say. They can influence teen alcohol use, relationships, friendships, tech use and more.
Raising Children Network is supported by the Australian Government. Member organisations are the Parenting Research Centre and the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute with The Royal Children’s Hospital Centre for Community Child Health.
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Warning: This website and the information it contains is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation with a qualified practitioner.
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Healthy Children > Ages & Stages > Teen > Dating & Sex > Helping Teen Parents and Their Children Build Healthy Futures
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
Teen parents have plenty of obstacles to navigate. Their kids will likely face some too.
The good news is that as a grandparent, there's a lot you can do to help.
It helps to be aware of the possible challenges your teenager may face as a parent. That way, you can help your child meet them head-on.
Transitioning to parenthood. Becoming a parent isn't easy even when you're an adult with some experience behind you. For teens, it's even more difficult since they're not finished developing themselves. Your teen may feel isolated from and jealous of their friends. They could feel unprepared for parenthood. They might be anxious about their future.
Finishing school. Teen moms aren't as likely to graduate from high school or to go to college. This can have a negative impact on their—and their children's—future.
Childcare. Finding safe, high-quality childcare may not be affordable.
Inexperience. Children have the greatest physical, emotional, and cognitive development during their first three years of life. This means the interactions they have with their parents and caregivers are crucial during this period. But because teen parents are young and inexperienced, they may not realize how much influence—good or bad—they have on their children's development.
Finding a job. It may be harder to keep or find a job that fits around school and parental responsibilities.
Earning enough money. Research shows that teen mothers tend to earn less than women who have children later in life. They're also more likely to experience poverty.
Negative perceptions. There are still negative stereotypes surrounding teen parents. People tend to see adolescent moms as sexually irresponsible and adolescent dads as uninvolved or absent.
Depression. Studies indicate that being a teen mother may increase the likelihood of mood disorders like depression . Young fathers are at a higher risk of becoming depressed too. This is probably partly due to factors like learning to become a parent, juggling responsibilities, and stress in relationships with family members, romantic partners, and/or friends. Stress and depression can also put adolescent parents at risk for
substance use .
Repeat births. Around 17% of babies born to adolescents are repeat births. Having more than one child as a teenager can intensify the challenges of finishing school, earning enough money, and finding quality childcare. Repeat pregnancies are also associated with a higher risk of low birth weight and infant death.
Adolescent moms and their children have some unique health risks too. This is why it's so important for them both to be under the care of a pediatrician.
Research shows that pregnant teen moms are more at risk of having these complications:
Premature birth, low birth weight, and infant death
The risks are higher for mothers under the age of 17 years. These complications also seem to be more common in teens that don't have proper prenatal care.
Children of teen parents have some higher risks too, including:
Yes, there are many challenges and risks involved with being a teenage parent. But as a grandparent, your love and support can make all the difference. Here are some ways to help your child so they can find a healthy, positive life path.
Seeing an obstetrician regularly helps both mother and baby stay healthy. It also lessens the risk for labor and delivery complications.
Watch out for signs of tobacco use, drinking , or taking drugs. Using any of these can harm the baby. Let your child's obstetrician know if you think these might be a problem.
It's a good idea to start classes during pregnancy so your child can learn how to take care of a baby before it arrives. Getting educated will also help your child manage the transition to parenthood more smoothly. And because parent-child interactions are so important, especially during the first three years, keeping up these classes benefits everyone.
Encourage your child to get a high school diploma and then a trade school or college degree. This will give your child confidence and help them support their child.
Because teen moms are at a high risk of getting pregnant again, it's important that they know about their
contraceptive options. For instance, they can have an intrauterine device (IUD) or implant placed right after birth. This helps reduce the likelihood of a repeat pregnancy during adolescence. Both the IUD and the implant last for years (depending on the type) and are completely reversible.
Breast milk is the best nutrition for babies. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend that moms of any age exclusively breastfeed for the first six months. After that, it's best to keep
breastfeeding along with introducing other foods until the baby is at least one year old. Not only does breastfeeding help mothers bond with their babies, but it also promotes cognitive development.
Breastfeeding classes and support help adolescent mothers breastfeed longer. Check with your child's pediatrician or obstetrician about breastfeeding resources like a lactation consultant.
You and your child (and possibly the other parent and grandparents) will need to sort through how much of a role you will play in caring for your grandchild. You may need to get a social worker or counselor to help with this.
Don't be afraid to step in and help parent your grandchild if that works for your family. Studies show that coparenting, which usually involves maternal grandmothers, can have positive effects on both children and grandchildren. This is especially true if you and your child have minimal conflict. The less conflict there is, the more positive the coparenting experience is for everyone.
No matter how you feel about your grandchild's other parent, remember that positive parent-child relationships are critical for healthy child development. For your grandchild's sake, try to encourage and support the other parent's role.
Research shows that when fathers engage with their children, they positively influence their kids' behavior, intellect, and mental well-being. Kids of teen moms who stay close with their biological father do better in school and at work. They're also less depressed, and their risk of becoming teen parents themselves is lower.
Even when fathers can't help support the baby financially, they can support them emotionally and physically. And the sooner they gets actively involved with their child, the more likely it is that they'll stay involved.
One of the best things young parents can do with their children is to play with them and read to them. Both of these activities promote bonding and boost young kids' social and cognitive development.
Visit your local library and check out Dolly Parton's
Imagination Library , which mails a free book every month to children from birth to age five, regardless of income.
There are many government and community programs and resources out there designed to help parents and young children, such as:
Tuition and childcare assistance programs
Parenting and child development classes
What's available depends on where you live. Check with your city, county, or state department of social services to start with. Your child's school may be another potential resource. It's possible you'll need to find services from a variety of
government and private resources, such as:
Temporary Assistance for Needy Families — Helps families with financial assistance and support services.
Child Welfare Information Gateway — Resources for parents and grandparents.
Early Head Start — Programs for kids under age 3 and pregnant women.
Nurse-Family Partnership — Connects first-time, low-income moms with a personal nurse.
Parents As Teachers — This home visiting program is for all families with young children.
Helping your child access these services can ease many of their burdens and paves the road to their success as a parent.
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Healthy Children > Ages & Stages > Teen > Stages of Adolescence
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
By: Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP & Helen Waterman, DO
Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes—to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world.
The many physical, sexual, cognitive, social, and emotional changes that happen during this time can bring anticipation and anxiety for both children and their families. Understanding what to expect at different stages can promote healthy development throughout adolescence and into early adulthood.
During this stage, children often start to grow more quickly . They also begin notice other body changes, including hair growth under the arms and near the genitals, breast development in
females and enlargement of the testicles in
males . They usually start a year or two earlier in girls than boys, and it can be normal for some changes to start as early as age 8 for females and age 9 for males. Many girls may start their period at around age 12, on average 2-3 years after the onset of breast development.
These body changes can inspire curiosity and anxiety in some―especially if they do not know what to expect or what is normal . Some children may also question their
gender identity at this time, and the onset of puberty can be a difficult time for
transgender children .
Early adolescents have concrete, black-and-white thinking . Things are either right or wrong, great or terrible, without much room in between. It is normal at this stage for young people to center their thinking on themselves (called "egocentrism"). As part of this, preteens and early teens are often self-conscious about their appearance and feel as though they are always being judged by their
peers .
Pre-teens feel an increased need for privacy . They may start to explore ways of being independent from their family. In this process, they may push boundaries and may react strongly if parents or guardians
reinforce limits .
Physical changes from puberty continue during middle adolescence. Most males will have started their growth spurt, and puberty-related changes continue. They may have some voice cracking, for example, as their
voices lower. Some develop acne. Physical changes may be nearly complete for females, and most girls now have regular periods.
At this age, many teens become interested in
romantic and sexual relationships . They may question and explore their sexual identity―which may be stressful if they do not have support from peers, family, or community. Another typical way of exploring
sex and sexuality for teens of all genders is self-stimulation, also called
masturbation .
Many middle adolescents have more
arguments with their parents as they struggle for more independence. They may spend less time with family and more time with friends. They are very concerned about their
appearance , and peer pressure may peak at this age.
The brain continues to change and mature in this stage, but there are still many differences in how a normal middle adolescent thinks compared to an adult. Much of this is because the frontal lobes are the last areas of the brain to mature―development is not complete until a person is well into their 20s! The frontal lobes play a big role in coordinating complex decision making, impulse control, and being able to consider multiple options and consequences. Middle adolescents are more able to think abstractly and consider "the big picture," but they still may lack the ability to apply it in the moment. For example, in certain situations, kids in middle adolescence may find themselves thinking things like:
"I'm doing well enough in math and I
really want to see this movie… one night of skipping studying won't matter."
Do I really
have to wear a condom during sex if my girlfriend takes the pill?"
"Marijuana is legal now, so it can't be
that bad."
While they may be able to walk through the logic of avoiding risks outside of these situations, strong emotions often continue to drive their decisions when impulses come into play
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