Teenage Boy

Teenage Boy
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Create structure. Teenage boys need structure in their lives, overseen and directed by their parents. This structure is not due to a lack of trust, but rather the biological fact that teenage boys haven’t yet developed the brain function to make safe choices based on the possible consequences. [1]
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As the parent, work with your teenage son to develop a daily routine for them. Make sure he’s involved in the process, but ensure the end result is what he needs.

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Ensure he gets lots of sleep. Sleep is vital at any age, but teenagers need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep every night in order to be functional. Ideally, they should develop a regular sleep pattern. A sleep pattern can help increase the quality of the sleep they get. [2]
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Not getting enough sleep can slow down many of his abilities - such as the ability to learn, listen, concentrate and solve problems. It can also cause him to forget very simple items like someone’s phone number, or when homework is due.
A lack of sleep can cause health problems, including acne. And can cause him to consume more unhealthy items like coffee or soda.
Not getting enough sleep can also affect his behaviour, causing him to become irritable or angry faster than he would normally. He may end up being mean or rude to someone that he'll regret later.

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Make him feel like part of the family. The anger felt by a teenage boy may make him feel as if you (their parents) don’t trust him. You need to make him feel that he's trusted, and loved, while teaching him the importance of family and community. [3]
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Encourage him to participate in family events and volunteer in the community.
Teach him about responsible financial management.
Show him how to be respectful of other people, their rights and their property.
Rather than telling him what you want him to do, ask him. When making rules, allow him to be a part of the process.

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Communicate with him effectively. Teen boys need more than simple verbal reminders or instructions in order to comprehend what is needed or required of them. In addition to verbally providing him with instructions, also do the following: [4]
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Make eye contact when providing instructions.
Ask him to repeat what you’ve told them.
Use short and simple sentences.
Allow him to respond and ask questions.
Don’t turn instructions into a lecture.

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Help him understand responsibility. Responsibility can be learned in multiple ways. Many teenagers can learn responsibility from example - by watching and mimicking responsible people. But it can also be learned by making mistakes and incurring the consequences of irresponsible behaviour. As corny as it sounds, the statement "with power comes great responsibility" is very true. Teenagers need to learn that power, privilege and responsibility are all connected. The best place for them to learn this is from their parents. [5]
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Pick your battles. Teens, in general, change often. For example, their fashion changes with the trends. As a parent, you might not be able to keep up, and you might be shocked by some of the clothes your teen decides to wear. While you may be tempted to make rules regarding clothes, keep in mind that you may also want to save your battle for something much more important (like drinking, drugs, curfew, etc.). [6]
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[7]
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Another change teens experience often is related to their mood. Many of their mood swings are driven by the hormonal and developmental changes. In some cases, they may not have complete control over their emotions, or their reactions.

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Understand why he's angry. Teenage boys experience surges in their hormones (testosterone), which can have an effect on their ability to feel fear and causes them to loose their inhibitions. In turn, this can cause them to engage in dangerous activities simply because they aren’t able to process how dangerous it is. And, they tend to allow their emotions, especially anger, to rule their reactions. [8]
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Realize friends have more influence than you. In the teenage years, your son’s friends will most likely have more influence over his actions and behaviours than you do. It’s not because he doesn't love or respect you, he's just trying to find his way in the world. [9]
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Try not to take this personally, and try not to get angry. Your anger towards him may cause him to withdraw further from you, and in turn, cause you to withdraw from him. He may not act like it, but he still need your support. [10]
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Enforce the rules. Teens are known for trying to push the limits, with you and with others. One way he may do this is by trying to get away with breaking the rules (e.g. how much later can he come home after curfew before you say something). It’s important that your enforce the rules you’ve made, or those limits will continue to be tested. It may also influence how your teen reacts to rules outside the home. You want to set a good example of how important rules are, and that they need to be followed. [11]
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Recognize the warning signs. ‘Normal’ teenage behaviour is one thing, but some teenage behaviour can indicate a much more serious problem. Watch for signs of more serious problems, and seek professional help as soon as possible. [12]
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Extreme amounts of weight loss or weight gain.
Ongoing sleep problems.
Rapid, drastic and long-lasting changes in personality.
Sudden change in close friends.
Skipping school and falling grades.
Any form of talk about suicide.
Signs of smoking, or alcohol and drug abuse.
Constantly getting in trouble at school, or with the police.

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Know that going through puberty can change their point of view. Boys normally go through puberty between the ages of 11 and 16. It is during these years that they experience most of their physical changes (including growing taller and developing muscle). During and after these years they’ll normally start to develop their sexuality. They’ll start to look at themselves, and others, differently. [13]
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If you’re a girl who is a friend of a teenage boy, he might start to treat you differently. On one hand because he’s experiencing changes in his emotions (and hormones). And on the other hand because your physical appearance is changing. This change doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, it is an unfortunate part of growing up.
Teen boys can also become confused or unsure about their sexual orientation. He may need your help and support to figure out who he is.

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Read body language. Body language is the movements or positions of someone’s body that can show us how they’re feeling. [14]
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Being able to read your friend's body language can help you determine the best method by which to deal with him.

The ability to read body language starts with the ability to observe. Practice reading body language by observing people in everyday settings like the mall, the bus or the coffee shop. [15]
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Some examples of body language to watch out for in your friend:

If you see your friend walking the hallways at school with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched over, he’s probably feeling dejected.
If your friend often plays with his hair or adjusts his clothes in some way, he’s probably nervous about something.
If your friend is tapping or drumming his fingers against the table, or fidgeting a lot, he’s probably impatient about something.
If your friend is talking to someone either with his arms crossed in front of him, or holding something in front of him, he’s being defensive.

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Be empathetic. Empathy is the ability to understand and appreciate someone else’s feelings. [16]
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In other words, it’s understanding what it is like to be in their shoes. Empathy allows you to understand what someone else is going through, and sympathize with them. Being empathetic also helps build better relationships. [17]
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Being empathetic includes being able to listen. It is difficult to understand how someone is feeling, if you don’t allow them to talk.
When listening to your friend talk, think about how you would feel in the situation he's describing. Chances are, if you would feel a certain way, so would he.
Some examples of how to be empathetic to your friend:

If your friend is telling you a story where he’s expressing a lot of different feelings, listen carefully and repeat back some of the things he’s telling you. It shows you’re listening and actually care about what he’s saying.
If your friend is giving his opinion about something, listen without judgement. Then ask yourself why he might feel that way. Put yourself in his shoes before jumping in with your own opinion.
If your friend had a particularly embarrassing experience that he doesn’t want to talk about, open up to him by telling him a story where you embarrassed yourself. Your friend will be more likely to share his own experiences if you’ve shared yours.

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Show compassion. The next step after empathy is compassion. Compassion is wan
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