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Teen With Cum On Face
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Is Rubbing Cum All Over Your Face The Secret To Eternal Youth?
Chanté Adams Did 'as Much Research as Possible' for 'A League of Their Own'
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Chanté Adams Did 'as Much Research as Possible' for 'A League of Their Own'
New Season of ESPN+ Series Celebrates HBCU Dance Teams
A facialist recently marveled to me: "Your lines are worse than mine and I am 40 years old!" Which forced me to point out: "I'm not CHINESE." So Asians have better skin. Do they have to rub it in our faces? Segue alert! Enter Lo & Dough, Jezebel's resident beauty product geeks.In the first installment of their column, they tackled the six most common ways people fuck up their lipstick . Recently they told me about an ancient Chinese beauty secret: the semen facial. Since I'm personally going through a reeeeal dry patch (ha!) they both agreed to become whores in the name of pores, Jizzybelles, etc. etc. And in the name of the scientific method, they both found sperm donors named Matt! But how did Creme Le Peen work out for their skin? Find out!
Welcome to "Blushing Snides," a regular Jezebel beauty and makeup feature that will probably change
Cosmopolitan head honcho Helen Gurley Brown once famously advised women to "Spread semen over your face, [it's] probably full of protein as sperm can eventually become babies. Makes a fine mask—and he'll be pleased." Damn, Helen, did that dick make you slap somebody, too? Because we actually tried out your crazy-ass beauty tip this weekend, against all better judgment, and are now here to report back on the Nasty Truth of semen facials. It all started with a few innocent emails:
BDJ: Dude, my skin has been pissing me off sooo bad lately. While I'm the last person in the world to buy into a load of hype, I'm this close to splurging on Creme De La Mer. You should talk me out of it, whether you know anything about La Mer or not. I don't want to pay that much money for something that calls itself a 'miracle broth', and yet I'm so drawn to the promise of amazing skin....
Get away For the amount of flights you’ll book over your lifetime, the $99 subscription fee is going to pay for itself over and over again.
Lo: Heh, heh... "miracle broth." That sounds like that gross thing we were talking about yesterday. I'll give you ten bucks if you rub sperm into your face and blog about it. I'd totally do it but I'm single.
BDJ: Isn't sperm actually supposed to be good for the skin? I think I read that somewhere... But, knowing my crap memory, it was probably College Humor or some shit. I'll totally do it if you do something else gross and blog about it. There was a rumor when I was in school that if you swabbed your morning pee all over your face (like a toner) it would clear up your skin. I suspect that girls I knew believed it, considering that all of the popular girls at my school kinda smelled like pee. Or it could've been Gap 'Dream'. I dunno.
Lo: Ohhh man. There's this uh, sort of monastic taoist order of sexual nuns in china called the white tigress society. Their whole M.O. is to harvest as much sperm as they can, rub it all over themselves, and apparently not age. I guess it works for them. The part I think is funniest is that they have to go out and "harvest" it. I think we should totally do this. I'll go out and harvest if worse comes to worse. I'm not using pee as a toner though. That's just foul.
BDJ: I just looked it up in google questions (who knew?) and it says that ejaculate contains urea also, so you may be getting the bonus effects of pee, whatever that is. It's like those cleansers, that are ALSO toners! The google also said ejaculate was basically warm sugar water with a little salt, vitamin c, and zinc. You must go forth and harvest.
Lo: How are you going to harvest it? Like in a cup, or in your hand, or fresh-squeezed from the condom, or what? We might have to wait awhile for me to get some. Hopefully I can pull it off within the week. Also, are we applying this like a beauty masque? Haaaahahahaha.
BDJ: Maybe a cup. Def not a condom, those things are full of nasty chemicals. Just let me know when you can get some. The fresher the better, I'm guessing. Since it hardens and flakes. I'm grossing myself out now. Um, I guess like a masque. I give it 10 minutes tops before I get skeeved and go wash it off.
Lo: Yeah, I just had the thought that my ex would probably be willing to donate. I'll buy him a perfect 10 and send him to the bathroom with a coffee mug.
7:35 Lo: I'm getting sperm tonight! Can you? 9:08 Dough: of course 10:58 Lo: Smells bad, burns, thank god I'm wasted. 11:01 Dough: Burns? Shit! Um, he's been drinking, eh. Prolly not good 4 yr skin. 11:02 Lo: Mine too! Plus I had to blow him for science, oops! 11:04: Dough: "For science' sure... 11:06 Dough: My test subject is reluctant. 11:07 Lo: Matt says "Bullshit I did it!" 11:09 Dough: We are both harvesting Matt jizz 11:10 Lo: Do it!!! 11:11 Dough: I'm doing 11:25 Dough: Omg. So gross. It stanks. 11:26 Dough: No burn, just tingles 11:31 Lo: I'm really smooth! 11:39 Dough: I'm bright red. It burns now & I look like a glazed donut. 12:00 Lo: It's like any other mask. I hate masks. Matt and I are still trying to drink away the humiliation... 12:02 Dough: Just think how much we'll have 2 drink once this goes to post!
The semen facial burned the fuck out of our faces, and our skin stayed red and irritated well into the next day. The more we researched into the skin nourishing properties of semen, the further we were convinced there were none.
Helen was right about one thing, semen does contain protein, and as the water in the spunk evaporates the protein is left behind. This does tighten the skin, but only in a ghetto, Queen Helene Peel-off Masque kind of way. Which means the tightening effect is gone once the product is removed. Also, if you consider that semen contains sorbitol (body alcohol), sodium, citric acid, uric acid, and chlorine, the tightening effect that a load to the face provides can be chalked up to drying of the skin. Yes- DRYING. As in, sucks moisture out of. As in, makes you look older. As in, not a moisturizer!
And yes, semen does contain a few trace vitamins and minerals form the body, but the amount is negligible, and there's not proof that those minerals can be absorbed into the skin from the seminal plasma. You'd get better facial nourishment without the Port-A-Potty smell if you were to use a vitamin-enriched moisturizer you could get from a drugstore. Semen also contains Urea and Uric acid, so if golden showers aren't your thing, semen "facials" shouldn't be either. There's probably more piss in jizz then there is magical skin-saving properties. Swallowing spunk isn't necessarily good for you either. If you're so concerned with vitamins and antioxidants, you'd be better off taking a multivitamin like a sane person. I'm sure some fools are gonna come out of the woodwork claiming that sperm is good for women's bodies, but the fact is that there is no scientific proof to back this up, leading us to believe that this is just a lame frat-boy urban legend perpetuated to degrade ladies and fuck up their complexion at the same time.
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Country’s first female tourism minister promises to crack the whip on vice industry
THAILAND'S sex industry is under fire after the country's first female tourism minister vowed to shut down the country's many brothels and go-go bars.
Kobkarn Wattanavrangkul wants future holidaymakers to flock to Thailand for its beauty and beaches and not its seedy red light districts and world-famous ladyboys.
But those working in the industry say any clampdown would devastate the local economy and leave thousands out of work.
Thailand is predominantly Buddhist country and with traditional values, but it is also home to one of the world's most infamous sex industries.
Every year, hordes of tourists flock to the bright lights of go-go bars and massage parlours in Bangkok and other tourist towns.
But Tourism Minister Kobkarn Wattanavrangkul had tried to play down the role of the sex industry in drawing visitors.
"Tourists don't come to Thailand for such a thing," Kobkarn said.
"They come here for our beautiful culture.
"We want Thailand to be about quality tourism.
Prostitution is actually illegal in Thailand but the law is almost invariably ignored - mainly because of police corruption.
Those trying to promote the welfare of sex workers say Kobkarn's goal is unrealistic.
The military government is in denial about the proliferation of prostitution and its contribution to the economy and tourism, said Panomporn Utaisri of NightLight, a Christian non-profit group that helps women in the sex trade to find alternative work.
"There's no denying this industry generates a lot of incomSe," Panomporn told the Mail .
There are no government estimates of the value of Thailand's sex industry, or how much of the income from tourism comes from sex tourists.
There are about 123,530 sex workers in Thailand, according to a 2014 UNAIDS report.
The tourism sector accounts for about 10 percent of gross domestic product and sex worker groups said the minister's vision of a prostitution-free Thailand would dent that.
"The police presence already drives off a number of clients who come to relax or drink at bars," said Surang Janyam, director of Service Workers in Group (SWING), which provides sex workers with free medical care and vocational training.
"Wiping out this industry is guaranteed to make Thailand lose visitors and income."
Many sex workers come from the impoverished northeast and see selling their bodies as a way out of poverty.
Prostitutes can earn up to 5,000 baht ($143.14) a night, nearly 20 times the minimum wage of 300 baht ($8.59) per day.
I n an attempt to diversify the industry, Thailand is starting a “month for women travellers” campaign in August, in which female-only pink immigration lanes and parking zones will be set up in international airports.
The campaign is timed to coincide with the birthday of Thailand’s Queen Sirikit in August.
Other travel sectors including wedding and honeymoon tourism, and eco-tourism, are also being pursued.
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By Audrey Fine Published: Mar 10, 2008
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"One day I was at the bus stop alone with this supercute guy who I really liked. I thought that he hated me, but boy was I so wrong! Well, we were just standing there getting bored, and before I knew it, he kissed me! I was in total shock and couldn't move or talk until the bus came! That sure was a great way to start off the day!"
"So, there was this girl Emily in my freshman class who was SO conceited. Seriously, she worshipped the ground she walked on. I didn't like her because she's the school slut, but everyone else seemed to think she was so nice. Well, I recently found out that she was addicted to drugs and sex. I felt so bad for not liking her after that."
"I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!"
"My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out. I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
"Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!"
"One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!"
"One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. Oh no!!! I could not believe it. He doesn't hate me, but he hasn't been paying much attention to me either — just in case I have another bottle of spray!"
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Какой тип телосложения вы считаете идеальным?
Женщины какого возраста вам подходят больше всего?
Поиск одиноких женщин в вашем городе
Tatiana94 хочет обменяться с вами фотками. Вы подтверждаете?
Прежде чем показать вам список и фотографии одиноких женщин, которые готовы к новым знакомствам, мы должны задать несколько вопросов.
Многие из этих девушек ищут мужское внимание и новые впечатления. Согласны ли вы, если они сами будут проявлять инициативу?
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Теперь вы можете посмотреть фотографии и список одиноких женщин, готовых к новым знакомствам и живущих рядом с вами. Пожалуйста, уважайте их желания и сохраняйте конфиденциальность ваших встреч!
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