Teen Wants To Ass

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The supposedly progressive piece, intended for teenage girls, refers to women as 'non-prostate owners', ignores the organ for female pleasure and fails to mention any potential dangers
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Despite the steps towards equality, when it comes to sex women are still defined by male desire and anatomy
Defining women by the men around them is an issue feminists have sought to address, and correct, for years.
The recent death of Sheila Michaels has reminded us of just how revolutionary it was that a woman’s relationship to a man should not dictate her value in society when she popularised the term Ms in the 1960s. She is not a Miss nor Mrs; she is neither waiting for a man nor owned by one.
It would stand to reason that we could assume that in 2017 any work aimed at women would be sure to avoid such regressive patterns. However, in Anal Sex: What You Need To Know for Teen Vogue, sex educator and feminist activist Gigi Engle managed to harp back to a time where women were defined by their relationship to men.
Describing the way anal sex can feel pleasurable to men and women in different ways, she starts by describing the pleasure felt during anal sex when the prostate is stimulated in a male body. The male anatomy is labelled as “anatomy of a prostate owner”.
Engle goes on to discuss how anal sex can feel pleasurable for women and uses this diagram of the female anatomy:
Not only is any potential pleasure a woman may feel during anal sex reduced to the lack of male body parts (she is a “non-prostate owner”) but the clitoris, the actual hub of female sexual pleasure, has been removed. The lack of a male body part is the focus of what defines the female body, and what is actually there isn’t identified at all.
What is this teaching the audience of a magazine aimed at teenage girls? It tells them their identity is not “woman”, but rather “non-man”. It tells them that should they consent to anal sex, their body is just a hole for the man to penetrate, and the part of their body that is most sensitive and reliable for the female orgasm is so irrelevant that it doesn’t even warrant a label. It tells them that consenting to anal sex is not about their pleasure, but about their partner’s.
Emma Watson talks about feminism in promotion for her upcoming role in Beauty and the Beast
What it fails to tell them is the potential dangers of anal sex. The possibilities of fissures and tears which can become infected very easily due to contamination by faeces, severe enough to need surgery, or lead to anal abscesses which increase the chances of catching HIV. By treating anal sex as an equivalent to vaginal sex, you increase the chances that your audience will not understand the potential damage they can do to their own or their partner’s body, and in turn increase their chances of becoming seriously ill.
Just as importantly, teaching young girls that their identity, their value, is dependent on a man removes their sense of self and puts them outside of humanity, as described in The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir: “Thus humanity is male and man defines woman not in herself but as relative to him; she is not regarded as an autonomous being.”
The current surge in queer politics would seem to explain this decision. Engle asks: “What about the LGBTQ young people who need to know about this for their sexual health?”
Seeking to include teenagers who do not identify themselves as women, despite having the female biology, embraces those who may feel outside of an article which discusses anal sex with biological terminology. Whilst well intentioned, it erases the young women who desperately need to be educated about their anatomy and empowered about their value. It treats women as second class citizens whose only identity comes from the men around them.
Instead of reducing a teenage girl to her male counterpart, we should be teaching them about their biology independently and as worthy in its own right. Our responsibility as adult women influencing the next generation is to raise them up to be confident in their self-worth, and fighting against a culture that seeks to define them by their sexuality and what they can do for men. Regardless of whether they consider their vulva to be part of their woman’s body, their clitoris exists, and they are more than just a hole for a penis.
Teen Vogue’s target audience is not non-prostate owners seeking to provide sexual satisfaction to men through their anus. Teen Vogue’s target audience is teenage girls, most under the legal age of consent, who are deserving of adult women to teach them to value themselves for who they are, not by what they are in relation to men.
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I've never refrained from changing clothes in front of them, or leaving the door open when I shower, or nursing babies without a cover. Because I want them to see what a real female body looks like.
Writer, wife, and mom to four energetic little boys. Lover of zombies, baking, and science. Blogger at FightingFrumpy.com.
09/11/2014 11:32am EDT | Updated December 6, 2017
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I live with a houseful of boys: four, to be exact. But they're still relatively young -- so there are no nudie mags stashed between mattresses, no stealthily-accessed porn sites that someone forgot to erase out of the Internet history, nothing like that. As much as I'd love to think my kids won't be curious, I'm well aware that won't be the case: those things are looming and will probably start happening much sooner than I'd like. (I mean, if I had my druthers, they wouldn't even think about sex until they were like 25.)
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But before all that happens -- before they're exposed to boobs that are as round and firm as cantaloupes and pictures of taut, airbrushed, dimple-less butts -- I'm exposing them to a different kind of female body.
Ours is not a modest household. I don't lounge around in the buff like my boys do (and I spend more time saying, "Put on some pants!" than anything else) -- but I've never refrained from changing clothes in front of them, or leaving the door open when I shower, or nursing babies without a cover. Because I want them to see what a real female body looks like. Because if I don't -- and their first images of a naked woman are the impossibly perfect physiques in those magazines or those movies -- what kind of expectations will they have? And what woman could ever live up to them?
Between you and me, I'm dismayed, big time, by my post-baby body. But for the sake of my boys -- and my future daughters-in-law -- I lie through my teeth. When they ask about my stretch marks, I tell them proudly how growing a baby is hard work, and that they're like badges I've earned (gaming references always hit home with dudes, no matter what you're explaining). As much as I'd like to cringe and shrink away when they touch my squishy belly, I let them squeeze my flab between their curious fingers. Do I hate it? Yes. I want to wail, "Leave my fat alone!" and run for the nearest oversized T-shirt (or, like, the nearest liposuction clinic).
But I don't. Because for right now, for these few formative years, my flab is their one and only perception of the female body. And I want them to know that it's beautiful, even in its imperfection.
I tell them how strong my body is. They see me work out. They see me make healthy food choices, but still indulge my love of baked goods. And though -- like most women -- I might inwardly beat myself up over my jeans getting too tight, or groan in frustration at the numbers on the scale, I'm never anything but proud of my body in front of my boys. Even when I feel the complete opposite inside. Instilling a positive body image is not an issue reserved for people with daughters -- and for boys, it involves not only making them confident about their own bodies, but also letting them know that real is beautiful when it comes to the opposite sex.
I don't want to do them, or any women they might happen to see naked in the future, the disservice of telling them that saggy boobs are bad or that a little bit of flab is something to be ashamed of. I want them to know that this is the norm, not the nipped-tucked-and-digitally-enhanced images they're going to be bombarded with. Sure, they'll gawk at those bouncy boobies and flat stomachs and perky butts... but I have hope that, deep down inside, they'll know that isn't the standard to which they should hold women's bodies. Like, ever.
There will come a time when I cover up when they're around. I'm sure at some point I'll hear, "Ugh, Mom, put some clothes on!" -- or that they'll learn to knock before barging into the bathroom (which sounds heavenly, I'm not gonna lie). But until then, I'll let them run their fingers along my stretch marks, and grin and bear it when they squeal with delighted laughter at the way my butt jiggles when I walk across the room to grab a towel. Because while they're young, I want to plant the seed -- so that when they're older, and their wives say, "I wish my thighs were smaller," my sons can say, "They're perfect just the way they are."
Writer, wife, and mom to four energetic little boys. Lover of zombies, baking, and science. Blogger at FightingFrumpy.com.
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Teen Wants To Ass