Teen Vs Monster Milf

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In 1945, the members of P.I.A. (Paranormal Investigation Agency) landed in Nazi Germany and defeated Hitler and his evil scheme to unleash genetically engineered man-monsters on the world. W... Read all
In 1945, the members of P.I.A. (Paranormal Investigation Agency) landed in Nazi Germany and defeated Hitler and his evil scheme to unleash genetically engineered man-monsters on the world. What they didn't know was that Hitler's right-hand assistant, retained a vial of his DNA! Now she plans to bring him and his creatures back and start the Fourth Reich. Only Teen Ape and his new team can save the world from doom!—Anonymous
I had heard about this one for a long time. An LBP masterpiece backed by Troma that was meant to be "The ultimate LBP/Teenape film", but somehow, for some reason, ended up being a film which Seaver and Lloyd Kaufman would rather us all not see and just forget about. The only words to come to mind after reading this is WHY, WHY and WHY???

OK. So, Everything I always heard about this for the years that it wasn't released is that it didn't end up as much of an LBP film Not even a regular one, much less the ultimate one. Apparently, Uncle Lloyd had too much of a say in what went on during production, or something and it lacked the usual LBP magic. Yeah? Big deal. Kaufman is awesome, so, who cares? The film still features the long awaited return of Teenape, right? Tons of returning characters. Right? stupid, outrageous humor. Right? So, it couldn't possibly be so bad that it's not even worth releasing... Right??? Wrong!

After 4 years of nothing, Teenape Vs. The Monster Nazi Apacalypse would finally be released on a Troma DVD with 2 other movies. Which gives a good indication of how important it is to Troma. Last I heard, Seaver & Troma both didn't want it to see the light of day, but the fans finally got their wish.

After 4 years of reading about this movie and slowly getting my hopes down, I recently decided too buy the Troma triple feature which included this once lost LBP anti-masterpiece. Cuz, let's be honest. It was gonna happen sooner or later, and like I said. I just had to see for myself.

So, in this ultimate LBP disappointment, we begin in 1945 with one of the most intelligence insulting stories Seaver has ever thrown at us. So far, we're off to a good start. The Paranormal Investigation Agency (PIA), which includes LBP favorite Leo De Champ, along with Marge, Thunder Ambrosia, Deathbone, & a returning Mr. Bonejack, all on a mission to Destroy Hitler (played by Josh Suire). A successful mission, as Hitler is indeed killed. However, Hitler's right hand henchwoman retained some of his DNA, and has vowed to bring him back to life to finish what he started. 65 years later, the surviving members of the PIA must once again deal with this trouble maker. But unlike last time, they got Teenape on their side. Which may or may not be a good thing...

Well, that was just sad! It's like this big story with a much bigger budget than normal and tons of returning characters. Reading about this unfortunate movie, it really does sound like the ultimate Seaver epic. But the humor was toned WAY down. The wacky randomness was simply not there. Not even a trace of it. And it seemed as if the actors just didn't wanna be there and were merely spitting out the lines they were being paid (?) to say. I can't believe this film was written and directed by Chris Seaver. But I can now see why he wouldn't want anyone to see it. Cuz it does sound like something worth getting excited about if you're into LBP. But it would turn out to be nothing but a disappointment. This movie has no soul. Teenape isn't even an ass hole. I can imagine Troma ruined this film the same way Hollywood is gonna ruin the Toxic Avenger remake. I guess that's justice for ya.

On the introduction, Kaufman doesn't even get the damn title right. He refers to it as "Teenape Meets The Nazi Moster Holocaust", which should give you guys an indication as to what he thinks of it. Not a completely worthless movie, but if you've never seen a Chris Seaver flick, do not let this one be your first. Let it be your last, if anything. 3/10
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Back in the day, women were considered attractive if they were petite and this wasn’t limited to height. Yes, height played an important factor, as the definition of petite is below 5’5.” But the rest
Back in the day, women were considered attractive if they were petite and this wasn’t limited to height. Yes, height played an important factor, as the definition of petite is below 5’5.” But the rest of her had to be proportional to her height. If she was petite, she was expected to have small hands, a tiny waist, fine facial features, and dainty feet.
Feet are highly regarded even in today’s culture as a female body part that ought to be taken great care of, especially if she will be exposing them by wearing flip flops or thong sandals. As a result, many women take pains to make sure their feet look perfect. They get foot spas, pedicures, and constantly lather them with lotion because no one wants to see cracked heels and long, uneven toe nails. Women who wear open-toed shoes are expected to have small feet and dainty toes and when they don’t, it’s sometimes disconcerting. But these celebrities were not blessed with small feet. They have feet that are considered huge for a girl and though some of them were very conscious of it growing up, most have accepted them as part of who they are.
We first met Mandy Moore back when she was a scrawny teenager in her music video for her 1999 debut single, Candy. She followed this up with another hit song, I Want To Be With You, which was featured in the film Centerstage and we all fell a little bit in love with the cute, girl-next-door brunette. Having made her mark in music, she also branched out into acting, making her film debut in the 2001 comedy film Dr. Doolittle 2. Her first starring role tugged at the heartstrings of many an audience goer when she played a dying teenage girl in the 2002 romantic drama film A Walk To Remember. She switched over to being a voice actor for Disney and currently stars in the critically acclaimed family drama series This Is Us. At 5’10,” she wears size 10 shoes and she told James Corden during a guest appearance on his show that Justin Timberlake once flat out told her, “You have big feet for a girl!”
She may not be in the limelight as much as Michael Phelps is, but Missy Franklin is accomplished in her own right. The 21-year-old Canadian-American competition swimmer is a five-time gold medalist, currently holding the world record in the 200-meter backstroke (long course) and the 4 x 100-meter medley relay (short course and long course). Though she was born in the United States, Franklin’s parents are both Canadian, but she chose to represent the US, which she considers her homeland. The 6’1” swimmer’s shoe size is a whopping size 13, prompting her father to call them “built-in flippers.” Unlike many other women with big feet, she says she is proud of her foot size, despite the fact that it’s such a chore to go shoe shopping because “everything is so cute, but nothing ever fits.” She doesn’t let her shoe size deter her in the least.
When the world first met Kendall Jenner, she was just a child in the background of her family’s reality TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Even as a little girl, she showed promise of growing up to be a real looker, with her alabaster skin, almond-shaped brown eyes, and long brown locks. Like all normal teenagers, she went through an awkward phase, where she was all limbs and height. Added to that, her skin was pretty bad due to typical pubescent pimples and she claims it’s always been one of her insecurities. But she has definitely blossomed into a beautiful woman at a statuesque 5’10” and has made a name for herself as a supermodel, walking the ramps of the most prestigious fashion shows. It’s no surprise that with her height also comes big feet. Her shoe size is a 10, which is bigger than average, but certainly proportional to her height.
It’s hard to believe that Australian model Elle Macpherson is already 52. She has seemingly been around for decades, yet she doesn’t seem to age. She is most known for her record five cover appearances for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, leading to her much-deserved nickname, The Body. She has branched out into acting, including a recurring role on the TV hit show Friends, where she played Joey’s roommate and on-and-off love interest. Today, she’s an entrepreneur and has hosted and produced a few TV shows. She’s also a mother to two teenagers and is the very definition of hot momma. The 6-foot beauty has gigantic feet to go with her height at size 12. She even poked fun at said feet when she hosted Saturday Night Live in 1996, shoving her bare foot in front of her sketch partner Jim Breuer’s face and calling her feet “nice and smelly.”
She is one of the few entertainers in Hollywood who have won all four American major awards: an Emmy (for Outstanding Talk Show Host for the TV show The View), a Grammy (for Best Comedy Recording for Whoopi Goldberg: Direct from Broadway), an Oscar (as Best Supporting Actress for the film Ghost), and a Tony (as producer of the 2002 Broadway musical Thoroughly Modern Millie). She is perhaps best known for her roles in Ghost and the Sister Act films, in which she was a nun in disguise. These days, she’s the moderator of the talk show The View. Not only is she an amazing actress, but also one of the funniest and wittiest entertainers in the industry. When interviewing Kate Winslet, they both talked about their foot sizes and being only 5’5,” Goldberg claimed she had huge feet for someone petite, wearing a size 11!
Uma Thurman has one of those faces that belong to the silver screen during Hollywood in the 1940s or and 1950s. She got her amazing bone structure and features from her mother, who was of German, Swedish, and Danish descent and was once a high-fashion model. Thurman wasn’t always beautiful, though. Like every swan, she was once an ugly duckling for a teenager, one who was tall, lanky, with a strange angular bone structure, an unusual name, and enormous feet at size 11. But as we all know, she has since blossomed and become a versatile actress in Hollywood. She rose to prominence in Quentin Tarantino’s critically acclaimed 1994 film Pulp Fiction and teamed up with the director again for both Kill Bill films. It’s said that Tarantino has a foot fetish and famously wrote a whole scene about a foot massage for Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
She was born with the proverbial spoon in her mouth and certainly didn’t need to get into reality TV for the money. It was more about doing it for some fame and attention. Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton chain of hotels, chose to live the high-profile life, constantly being portrayed in the media as a spoiled, rich kid with nothing better to do with her time and money. People either loved or hated her because let’s face it, how many of us are struggling to make ends meet and here’s this rich celebrity just spending lavishly the money she didn’t even have to earn? Her personal life has been splashed on every tabloid and entertainment news site, including her run-ins with the law and her failed relationships. Hilton has toned it down throughout the years and isn’t in the news as much as she used to. When asked what’s the one thing she hated about her body, she said it was her size 11 feet because she looked like she had clown feet when wearing flats or tennis shoes. Her solution? She started her own footwear line!
Once dubbed as the queen of romantic comedies, Meg Ryan was once one of the highest paid actresses during her heyday in the 1990s. The blonde, blue-eyed beauty shot to instant fame in the hit 1989 romantic comedy film When Harry Met Sally in which she starred opposite Billy Crystal. The famous “fake orgasm” scene in the restaurant certainly branded her in everyone’s memory! Her two other most successful films were those in which she worked with Tom Hanks: Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail. She tried to break free of the mold, but was generally unsuccessful in other types of roles. Her foray into the action-suspense genre in Proof of Life ultimately backfired on her because until this day, the movie is more known for her affair with co-star Russell Crowe than her acting chops. Ryan wears size 11 shoes and she once joked that her big feet were the secret to good acting.
Being ranked the “Queen Of All Media” usually comes with tons of money and fame and Oprah Winfrey proudly uses her status to do good in the world. With a net worth of more than $3 billion, she is the richest African-American of the 20th century and is arguably the most influential woman in the world. Hers is the classic rags to riches story, having been born into poverty to a teenage single mother and getting her start in radio before co-anchoring the local news when she was still living in Tennessee. Her wit and eloquence during the adlib portions, eventually got her into the daytime talk show field and the rest, as they say, is history. Back in 2010, Winfrey did a closet clean-up with her magazine, O’s creative director and she discovered that she was wearing a size 10, which was one size smaller than her actual shoe size of 11. Her solution? Put her array of designer size 10 shoes up for auction on eBay!
She’ll always be one of the great icons of Hollywood and it’s certainly well-deserved. Audrey Hepburn was the very epitome of style, grace, class, beauty, talent, and a good heart and she certainly played her part as a role model to women to a tee. She’s recognized as a film and fashion icon, which was no mean feat during Hollywood’s golden era in the 1950s and 1960s. The multi-awarded actress has starred in such classics as Roman Holiday (for which she won an Oscar), Sabrina, My Fair Lady, Charade, and the film which she is known for the most, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She brought waif-thin into fashion during a time when a woman was considered beautiful if she had an hour-glass figure. Hepburn once expressed her discontent with her body, particularly her flat chest, angular shoulders, and clown feet. The 5’7” beauty wore size 10 ½ shoes, which were considered big for women during those days.
Even at 50 years old, Cindy Crawford is still considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. She was certainly at the top of the fashion world back in the 1990s, having graced the world’s biggest magazine covers multiple times. She was admired for her good looks and great body, but it was the mole on her face that truly set her apart from the rest, as it made a body part considered abnormal unique to her as a person. As a teenager, she was subject to nasty remarks about her mole when she was growing up and it made her want to have her mole removed. Good thing she didn’t push through with it and when she was at the peak of her popularity, women everywhere went so far as to draw fake moles onto their faces to emulate her. The 5’9” beauty has size 10 feet, which is not too bad, considering her height.
She’s perhaps the most famous and high-profile first lady of the United States and this was before the advent of social media. Jackie Kennedy may have been married to a popular and charismatic president like John F. Kennedy, but she was far from overshadowed by her charming husband. In fact, she captured the attention and the hearts of so many all over the world, that it was her husband who would be relegated to the background. During an official trip to Paris in 1961, she was fanned over so much, that her husband quipped, “I am the man that accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris.” She was femininity and grace personified and was considered a style icon during her time in the White House. She brought into fashion the Chanel suit, paired with the pillbox hat and a string of pearls. For a woman in the 1960s, her feet were considered humongous at size 10.
When playing sports, height is almost always an advantage rather than a hindrance, for whatever sport it is and tennis is no exception. Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova has been ranked world number one in singles for a total of 21 weeks and is the only Russian to hold the career Grand Slam, having won all four of those coveted trophies. She has achieved a rare level of longevity in the sport, despite several injuries and her wins are due in part to her long limbs and towering frame. At 6’2,” Sharapova has also modeled for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and was the face of fashion brands like Cole Haan. The 29-year-old statuesque beauty has certainly used her height to her advantage. Her size 11 feet are quite proportional to her height, given she’s well above six feet, although surely, she has a difficult time finding shoes off the shelves.
She’s one of the most accomplished English actresses in modern times, having under her belt an Academy Award, an Emmy Award, four Golden Globe Awards, and a Grammy Award. Kate Winslet is the youngest person to have received whopping six Academy Award nominations and is one of the few actresses to have won three of the four big American entertainment awards (EGOT) with just a Tony Award lacking in her resume. Winslet was first recognized by the international movie crowd in the 1995 film Sense and Sensibility, in which she played Emma Thompson’s sister Marianne. Her breakthrough role was in the 1997 epic film Titanic and her career has gone to great heights ever since. Standing at 5’6,” it will certainly come as a surprise to know that she wears size 11 shoes. Apparently, it runs in the family because her mother’s foot size is a 13!
When you see her onscreen, Cate Blanchett certainly seems larger than life. Not only is it because she stands at 5’9,” but because she has that commanding presence, whether it’s strutting down the red carpet during awards shows or when she’s deeply immersed in a film role. The 47-year-old Australian has certainly earned her stars as one of Hollywood’s greatest actresses of her time and she has the accolades to prove it. The international audience first took notice of her when she starred in the titular role in the film Elizabeth I of England, for which she received a BAFTA and a Golden Globe Award. She has two Oscars tucked under her belt, winning for Best Supporting Actress for her role as Katharine Hepburn in the film The Aviator; and the Best Actress plum for her ro
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