Teen Vibrator Squirt
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Teen Vibrator Squirt
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By Kellie Commons
Special to OnMilwaukee
Published Nov 21, 2020 at 8:56 AM
Kellie Commons
Special to OnMilwaukee
@kc_in_mke
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I recently found out that Target carries a robust line of vibrators. I discovered this as my 14-year-old daughter and I cut down a side aisle while shopping for this year's meagre list of school supplies. I was chugging towards the Q-Tips and peel-off face masks, looking at the vitamins and supplements shelves on the other side when Anna said, "Momma, what is that?"
I recently found out that Target carries a robust line of vibrators. I discovered this as my 14-year-old daughter and I cut down a side aisle while shopping for this year's meagre list of school supplies. I was chugging towards the Q-Tips and peel-off face masks, looking at the vitamins and supplements shelves on the other side when Anna said, "Momma, what is that?"
It was not, as sex toys go, anything earth-shattering. None of them are 14 inches long or require a marine battery. But she looked shook. And rather nonplussed about the fact the box was referring to them "personal massagers.” She had questions. A lot of questions.
So, as tactfully as one can in a busy Target on a Friday night, parked in the family planning aisle, I answered them.
We talked about what each one would be used for, where they can go, the importance of lubricants and keeping toys clean. Matter-of-factly. Because, while some topics got pinned to discuss at home and not in a retail setting, vibrators aren't weird. They aren't a secret or a source of shame. While I'm not used to seeing them across from the Flintstone's Chewables, there's no reason they should need to be purchased secretly, at great expense, and shipped to your house in plain brown packaging.
There's a lot of talk in the media and society at large about teaching our kids about sex and sexuality in a different way. About removing shame and fear, giving them a platform to find their own healthy relationship with their body and what it wants. We hear and talk about consent. But there's still a lot of folks with both a heebie and a jeebie when it comes to talking to their kid about sex outside of the rules and limitation. There's a lot of discomfort around allowing your kids to learn that sex is nice.
It took a minute to find age- and relationship-appropriate language to use and a little brief blushing from both of us to get over the initial hump of discomfort, but I never considering being anything other than frank and honest with my teenager. Yes, we talk about the true risks and dangers, why teen sex is a bad idea but not as bad as unprotected teen sex and that pregnancy is a possible even with protection literally any time. About the emotional load that comes with sexual contact. But then we have to be able to talk about birth control methods and options. About oral and anal sex and what that means. We need to share all facets of sexuality with our kids, not just the doom. If we're not talking about all of it, we're not really talking about any of it.
This also reinforced for Anna that I'm a resource. I've always told her that I'm the best resource. I want her to feel just as comfortable asking me about sex as she does asking about how to get rid of a pimple or wash her clothes or how to improve her bio paper. All are topics where she needs help and has questions and otherwise would rely on other teenagers or the internet for information, which I've long enforced is not a winning plan.
I've seen a lot of strong negative reactions to this new product line on Twitter, anger that families should be exposed to these shameful products and be forced to have frank conversations with their kids (or, even crazier, have to redirect their kids if there isn't an age appropriate way to be forthcoming).
I'd suspect it was the same when they started carrying lube or alternative feminine hygiene products. I haven't seen anybody come out in support of having these options be readily accessible at an affordable price. I haven't heard a parent suggest that allowing teens this knowledge (and avenue, if they've got thirty-odd bucks) might continue to help reduce teen pregnancy or give our girls more agency and knowledge of their body.
This year has been a weird one. I did not expect Target to throw me this curve ball. I hope I used that big ol' two-pronged vibrator to knock this one out of the park.
Kellie has loved Milwaukee since before loving Milwaukee was cool, and knew this was the place to settle down and raise a family. She’s got an opinion about almost everything and loves to pick up new fun facts. Kellie keeps busy as the Group HR Manager for Saz’s Hospitality Group, a hometown favorite, by teaching at Mount Mary, getting involved in her community and trying to play catchup on her reading pile, though she’ll never say no to a nap. Most days, she’s also trying to talk herself out of or into running another half marathon. Kellie lives in Wauwatosa with her partner Rob, who is an owner of Vennture Brew Co, and her daughter Anna.
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Who says the perfect climax has to be a fantasy? Wand massagers use the sorcery of vibration and pulsation to conjure up magical, toe-curling O’s every time.
So, get believin’ and lube it up: here are our 18 best wand vibrators that’ll cast a euphoric spell on your sex life (and make magic the new sexy).
Made famous by their Sex and the City cameo – shoutout to the OG Hitachi – wand vibrators are a fan favorite among sex toy connoisseurs. These delightable gizmos are (unsurprisingly) shaped like a wand, and are primarily designed to tease your clit with ultra-powerful, consistent vibrations.
However, wands can be used as sex toys for penises , too!
While their main purpose is clitoral stimulation, wand vibrators can pretty much be used in any way you can imagine; slip a wand vibe under your pillow and you’ve just made a makeshift rideable sex toy. Or, if you and your beau wanna up the foreplay, you can use a vibrating wand to massage each other’s erogenous zones. These vibrators even work wonders on sore muscles.
If you don’t already believe in magic, this Lovehoney wand will turn you into a believer: it conjures up knee-trembling orgasms in all those it touches. The power and intensity are otherworldly, and its bulbous head delivers broad stimulations to your clitoris and vulva. Plus, the super-smooth scroll wheel allows you to ramp up or dial down the bliss without being taken out of the moment (seeya awk button fumbling).
This vibe wand is the latest upgrade of the classic Hitachi toy, and boy does it deliver. It’s now rechargeable and offers 8 intense vibration settings. The body-safe silicone head is also easy to clean, no matter how messy your play gets. While it’s still heavy like its predecessor and can’t quite match its room-quaking, rumbly power – a plus if you found the OG too invasive and numbing – it is a whole lot sleeker.
While pricey, the Lelo Smart Wand 2 is a stylish vibe perfect for adventurous pleasure-seekers. With 10 distinct (and adjustable) vibrating modes, you’ll experience a new way to orgasm every time. The vibe hits your erogenous zones just right, and many settings are extra rumbly. Oh, and the Lelo Smart Wand material is also skin soft, making it super cozy and a great replacement for your beau’s touch when they’re away. Good times.
This small but mighty micro wand brags a flexible neck that’ll allow you to enjoy it anywhere, in any position. Sure, it’s not the best-looking mini wand out there, but it makes up for this with its super affordable price tag. Plus, what matters is what’s on the inside, right? It provides squirm-prompting vibrations and comes packed with 3-speed settings to play around with. Nice.
There are plenty of mini vibrators worth checking out!
D istance doesn’t have to leave your sex life in shambles: the Lovense Domi 2 sex toy allows you and your beau to play together even if you’re continents apart. Your partner can take charge and control the vibrating wand’s settings through the dedicated app, allowing you to physically feel their “touch” in every vibration. And with unlimited vibration patterns on offer? Your partner can spoil you plenty (and leave you edging for more.)
The Mantric vibe wand has an ergonomic shape that allows it to glide effortlessly across the curves of your body (and massage all the hard-to-reach spots!). The buttons can be a little finicky – a total turn-off if you love to experiment in the heat of the moment – but it does boast 7 intense vibration modes, making it perfect for those after grip the sheets kinda stimulation. It also looks utterly gorgeous; the multicolored LED gives it a literal “glow up.” Cute.
The Die Cast 3R is the perfect travel companion for your next adventure; it’s lightweight and comes with a discreet case that’ll leave your holiday pals none the wiser. The case is also made out of aluminum, meaning it’ll withstand the bumps and shakes of travel (and your bed). Oh, and you won’t have to compromise on power: it’s almost identical in strength to its bigger sibling, the Doxy Extra Powerful Massager Wand. We love to see it.
This We-Vibe wand would probably belong to Hermione. It’s magical AND intelligent. It has innovative sensor tech that makes the wand only ramp up the vibrations if it’s touching your skin. While it takes some time to get used to, the sensor is honestly revolutionary for edging; when you’re on the brink of climax, simply pull away and the vibrations will automatically switch off until you’re ready to go again.
It also comes with two wand attachments to spice things up even further. The first attachment provides fluttery sensations – perf for those wanting more gentler play – while the other is smooth and stroking. If you’re a fan of cheeky couples sex toys , this could be perfect.
The Hitachi classic wand toy might be less portable than its successor, but it doesn’t sacrifice on power: it’s the definition of a no-frills powerhouse. This toy is packed with 2 mind-blowing vibration modes that’ll leave your whole body in trembling heaven and make you bedbound for days (‘cus it’s just so irresistible). It’s also budget-friendly, so you can splurge on explosive pleasure without leaving your savings in a not-so-pleasurable state.
The Lovehoney Deluxe wins the contest for the most on-fleek vibe; it has several gorgeous style options, each unique in their own way. There are styles with a whole lot of glitter, a metallic ombre style, and even a glow-in-the-dark option (for when you really want to feel like a witch). Sadly, it’s not the easiest to clean due to the grooves, but their texture does add to the stimulation.
This cute vibrating wand is adorned with a Swarovski gem button that gives it an extra magical look. But this adult toy isn’t all looks and no substance: it’s packed with rumbly, clit-pleasing vibrations and is impressively silent for a wand (because, ya know, brewing up a sensual potion usually leaves your roommates fully aware of what’s up).
If powerhouses like the Hitachi leave you numb and desensitized, the Vibratex Mystic Wand is a great alternative. The Vibratex offers less intense and more broad vibrations, yet still gives you all the customization versatility. Its neck is also incredibly flexible; you can easily position it in a way that’ll unlock your full “O” potential, and it’ll be comfortable no matter your body type. Good stuff.
The Le Wand Petite is all ‘bout that pleasure, no trouble. It’s light, non-bulky, and comes with a matching luxurious travel case. The motor delivers rumbly vibrations, and the flexible, small head allows for extremely pinpointed clitoral stimulation. While many rechargeable sex toys tend to slow down once the battery is low – a total mood killer – the Le Wand Petite keeps going fast and hard, allowing you to reach an intense orgasm even if its low on juice.
Ultra soft and velvety smooth, the Mini Wand by Vibratex will leave your hot spots oh-so-satisfied. This wand also has gentle, fluttering vibrations, making it apt for those looking to dip their toes (or, I should say clit) into the orgasmic world of sex toys for the first time. Sadly, the durability seems to kinda be a hit or miss, but it’s easy on the budget and, ahem, it’ll probably last longer than your ex-beau did in bed.
Sure, there are a few shower-friendly wand vibes out there, but none will plunge you into watery pleasure like the PalmPower Wand Massager does. It’s totally waterproof, easy to grip when wet, and it lavishes your clit with intense and rumbly sensations.
While the controls are def not edging-friendly – once you crank up the “magic” you can’t lower the intensity – this wand does make up for it with its versatility. The vibrating head is removable and can be swapped out for any PalmPower attachment, meaning you can expand your pleasure palette with the likes of flutter wand attachments or G-spot stimulators.
This no-frills vibe takes the awks out of mingling a sex toy into lovemaking; it’s slim enough to comfortably slot in between you and your partner, and it’s made from silky-smooth material that won’t irritate your skin. Although the battery cap can be fidgety, it has a generous number of rumbling patterns which very few sex toys can match.
The Le Wand might be big and bulky, but it does last up to 5 hours on a single charge – ideal if you’re into lengthy edging or just always forget to charge up your toys. The packaging is also utterly elegant, making it le perfect gift for your partner (or yourself; we all need some self-love!).
30% more powerful than the already powerful Hitachi vibe, this Doxy wand is a total beast. Sure, it’s heavy and not the quietest toy out there, but if you’re a veteran looking for some bed-shaking, squirt-inducing power? This wand vibe will roll n’ rumble your clit to bliss and beyond, with no frustrating buzziness. Oh, and it’ll deeply soothe all your aching muscles too. What more can you ask for?
So, which sex toy is best for you? Well it all depends on what you’re after.
If you’re after some intense G-spot stimulation, rabbit toys are probably your best bet instead of wand vibrators. They provide internal and external stimulation, and their bunny ears are pretty darn cute too!
However, let it be known that wand vibrators are literally magical: they soothe ailing muscles, spice up foreplay, and bestow your clit and vulva (or penis!) with the love and attention they so rightly deserve.
Although all the vibes featured on our list are magical in their own way – and would run Ollivanders out of business – the Lovehoney Extra Powerful Wand Vibrator is an all-round choice for solo play. It’s powerful, hits the clit just right, and the innovative scroll wheel makes adjusting the settings smooth and easy.
However, if you’re after a wand massager for couple play, the Tracey Cox Wand Vibrator and the Lovense Domi 2 are your best bets. The former is super comfortable to use during lovemaking, while the latter is perf for LDRs as it can be remote-controlled from anywhere in the world (tech = a sexy blessing).
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The best sex toys for women have come a long way—and made a lot of people come—from the humble beginnings of steam-powered vibrators and rubber dildos. It’s always been more a more wide-ranging category than the equivalent tools for men. (Though one look at the best sex toys for men shows that changing in recent years.) It can be difficult for beginners to know exactly what adult toys to buy for the first time, whether you're shopping for yourself or a partner.
For guys, it can also be difficult to confront your own unease about sex toys if, for example, you’re insecure about your sexual prowess, or worried that you’ll be upstaged by a vibrator. But it’s important to remember that a sex toy cann
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