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A mortified man and his wife have shared details of the moment they ran into their own daughter and her husband at a swingers' party, and begged for help from an advice columnist in The Sun about what to do next.
The unnamed man, who is 53, says that he and his 51-year-old wife regularly attend neighbourhood swingers' parties, where they enjoy having sex with other people.
But at a recent event, things took a horrifyingly unexpected turn.
“We went into the kitchen and kicked off with some drinks with people we already knew,” the man wrote. “Then we moved into the lounge where some others were flirting, joking, getting relaxed.”
Suddenly, he noticed something out of the ordinary.
“It was the dress I noticed first,” he said. “I thought, ‘That’s just like the dress our daughter wore when we saw her last week’.”
His eyes followed the outline of the dress and he realised, to his horror, that the woman in the dress was his daughter, a married woman in her 30s.
“She was there with her husband, at ease with her hand on another man’s leg,” he explained.
“I told my wife we should leave but then my daughter looked up and saw us.
“I will never forget the expression of shock and dismay on her face.”
“We left straight away and have never been back to that place.”
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It was certainly as horrifying as Halloween!
The crestfallen father says the embarrassing encounter seems to have ruined his and his wife’s relationship with their daughter and son-in-law.
“We used to meet up for a drink or a meal at weekends but now our daughter won’t take our calls,” he says.
“It has hit my wife especially hard, as they had a very close relationship.”
“We haven’t tried going direct to their door, as we just couldn’t cope if they turned us away. I am totally stuck as to what to do next.”
The advice columnist suggests that the father could perhaps reach out to his son-in-law, and promise that if things return to normal with their relationship that they never need mention the excruciating encounter again.
She suggests that the daughter may also be embarrassed and worried that her parents may think differently of her now.
Considering both couples were at the party to do exactly the same thing, there shouldn’t really be any judgement, condemnation or embarrassment on anyone’s part.
The columnist finishes by suggesting that over time it’s likely the dust will settle, and the family could even laugh about it one day.
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By Laurie Segall January 25, 2015: 6:13 PM ET
In a nondescript building in San Francisco's Potrero Hill, a diverse group of entrepreneurs, doctors, financiers and artists gather for the monthly Bronze Party -- an event where couples dance, drink and, if they're up for it, have sex with other partners.
The Bronze Party is referred to as a "lifestyle party," a modernized term for what many refer to as swinger's parties.
Downstairs at the party, women wear stilettos and fishnet stockings and mingle with their significant others. Many take off garments as the hours pass. Upstairs, there's what's referred to as a "play room," full of mattresses covered in red sheets, where couples tend to gravitate later in the evening. They may have sex with each other. They may switch partners. Some just watch.
These types of events are nothing new, but what makes this one different is its high-tech nature. Ben Fuller, who started throwing the Bronze Party in 2011, is a former tech entrepreneur who sold his first company in 2000 for just less than $5 million. He said there are 1,300 active profiles for people who attend the Bronze Party.
Fuller and a colleague also run Modern Lifestyle, an online platform that connects about 50 sex clubs around the country. Their software gives people the ability see who's attending events and purchase tickets. They sold $3 million in tickets last year.
Fuller also capitalizes on some of the tech-oriented members in his own backyard. He says there are several tech entrepreneurs who attend events and provide valuable feedback.
"They often have great ideas about technology ... that I can apply here at Bronze Party, " he says, citing an iPhone developer who helped manage contact information, email experts who've helped get around Gmail filters, and a user experience designer who helped redesign the website and mobile app.
"We are in Silicon Valley," says Stella, an engineer who attends. "People here don't have a very high tolerance for bad websites."
Stella has been with her husband, Greg, both engineers, for 10 years. They've been swapping partners for two of them.
"Whereas you might go to a bar, pick up somebody and take them home for the evening if you're single, here it wouldn't be unheard of to do that even if you're married," says Greg.
Members are also discovering the Bronze Party through apps like Secret, which allows users to post anonymously, Fuller says.
"We just heard from a threesome -- two women and a man -- who said 'Oh, we heard about it on Secret.'"
In the '70s, swinging was often random. "Key parties," as they were called, refer to events couples attended. At the end of the night, men would put their keys in a bowl, women would pick a key and go home with the guy who owned it.
Those communities still exist, but tech is now making it easier for people to find one another, Fuller says.
"In the old days, you never knew where you were going," Fuller says. "Now you get a really good sense. The event details ...even the pictures of the people that are going to be attending the party."
In preparation for events, many Bronze Club members use a feature called, "Auto Date," Fuller says.
"[It] allows you into the party itself, to choose the people that you're interested in, and if you choose and they choose, you get a notification," he says.

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