Teen Shower Masturbate

Teen Shower Masturbate

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Put a bunch of 18-year-old boys together, and you may get an overload of testosterone. A prank that has been battering about college dorms for years now takes this too literally and pokes fun at the prodigious amount of semen college freshman inevitably produce—specifically, in the shower, when, uh, you know. The prank is to post an official-looking notice in a communal bathroom decrying the fact that the abundance of in-shower masturbation has created a buildup of semen so drastic it is clogging the drains.
University Masturbation Notice. pic.twitter.com/Wbj20uxm39
Photos of the notices have been circulating on the internet for years now, with variations of the same note embossed with letterhead from prestigious colleges and universities all over the world: Georgetown University, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Michigan, the University of St. Andrews , etc. Just last week, another image of one such notice posted at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill made its rounds again.
UNC housing sent a fake anti-masturbation flyer in Eringhaus down the drain: https://t.co/cJUVRd0RTr pic.twitter.com/tHfhRPFOB0
This particular notice, from Ehringhaus Residence Hall, asserts that masturbation in the showers is in violation of the Carolina Housing Code and that the drains “are not built to withstand semen.”
“Every year UNC spends thousands in maintenance because of the excessive amount of semen stuck in the pipes,” the notice reads. As extreme as that sounds, this one actually doesn’t even go as far as some other letters—UPenn’s warned that if the situation was not remedied, the staff would resort to DNA testing to find the culprit.
The notices themselves, of course, are fake—likely the result of upperclassmen hoping to make anxious freshmen even more sexually uncomfortable than they are.
“These signs were not authorized nor endorsed by Carolina Housing,” an email sent to on-campus residents read . “Please disregard the notice.”
But we couldn’t help but wonder … did this classic September trick have real-life origins? Is this actually something that colleges worry about each fall, or something abundant shower masturbators have experienced in their own lives? Could excessive semen actually clog a drain?
To answer these incredibly important questions, we first tried the people we were convinced would know—the maintenance staffs at colleges across the country. They’re the ones with front-row seats to a presumable semen onslaught. It turned out that they had better things to do than talk to us (fair). Of the more than 20 maintenance heads, college PR staff, and facilities teams we reached out to, none of them returned our calls. In fact, one university media relations official responded that he did not feel it would be “appropriate to pull someone away from his or her job for this.”
Next, we turned to the scientific literature. As it turns out, there appears to be very little research published on the direct effects of semen in shower drains (free thesis idea).
Other internet theories have noted that semen does feel stickier when it gets wet, though the reason for that has been elusive. A NSFW Claymation video about this phenomenon suggests that water might actually react with semen in some way to make it stickier, but it doesn’t propose a compelling reason of exactly why this would happen.
It’s also possible that semen simply feels like it’s stickier in the shower because it’s being compared with water. Either way, you can see why a freshman guy who perhaps has masturbated while bathing might notice stickier semen and worry about the dorm-bathroom warnings. But can semen, sticky or otherwise, clog a drain?
Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate , Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:
When a man ejaculates, the fluid first comes out like a gel, with a certain amount of consistency that likely helps with fertility by allowing it to stay longer within the vagina than if it were a runny liquid.
For this reason, a semen analysis is never performed immediately on a fresh specimen. The lab technicians need to wait until it becomes a liquid, which takes 20-30 minutes.
As a rule, semen just isn’t thick enough to clog a drain. And after a short time it will become runny like water anyway.
Carrol Platz, an assistant professor in cell biology at Baylor College of Medicine and the founder of the International Canine Semen Banks, agrees: “In humans, normally the semen remains liquid and would not clog drains.” Other mammals, apparently, have rubbery semen, but if you’ve got chimpanzees masturbating in your showers, you probably have problems beyond drainage.
So shower masturbators, it looks like you’re in the clear.
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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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9yr old daughter started masturbating?
Hello, just recently my daughter has started masturbating in the shower. This really bothers me and I don't know how to handle it or what to say to her. I want to be open and honest and I want her to know that she can talk to me but I don't know where to start with this one. Is it normal?
Yes, totally normal. I personally would just leave it as probing her further may just end up needlessly embarrassing her. It's perfectly normal to explore your own body, why does it bother you? Can I just ask (out of nosiness) how you know she is doing it?
How do you know?! Id say its normal x
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Bless her she must have been mortified when you walked in. I am almost certain I did it at that age, I have done it for as long as I can actually remember (and there's definitely nothing wrong with me ). The important thing is that she shouldn't feel it's something to be ashamed of. Perfectly normal and absolutely fine to do privately.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
It shouldn't bother you as this is totally normal. Children as young as six learn to masturbate. It's wrong to associate masturbation with adulthood and sex because it's not quite the same.
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Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
I have a 9 and 11 yr old daughters,and was cort masturbating by my 9 year old.i didn't realize she was stood watching,and now I've seen her masturbating!I feel so guilty thinking its my fault:(
Don't make an issue of it. Somebody a while ago talked about a 'growing up box' which I plan to so for my two girls soon. It included books about sex and biology, sanitary towels etc... Maybe just do something like that and offer her the choice to come to you with any questions...
What is it that you are worried about? This is perfectly normal behaviour.
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
Not a very helpful comment - it's perfectly normal behaviour
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
My eldest is 9 i wouldnt feel comfortable knowing that either. How do you know she does this? and does she just touch her bits or actually masterbate? i wouldnt have known how to at 9
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