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7 Photos Of The Most Adorable Penis You've Ever Seen
7 Photos Of The Most Adorable Penis You've Ever Seen
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What does a penis do while the rest of his body is asleep? That's what the anonymous photographer behind the Tumblr site Things My Dick Does wondered. The San Francisco-based photographer decided that his penis probably did whatever he could for fun, as penises are always up for a good time.
Calling his penis Little Dude (or LD), Big Dude (for lack of a real name) started taking pictures of his penis in all kinds of hilarious costumes and situations. Since you can't have funny penis pictures and NOT share them, Things My D*ck Does was born.
Little Dude has been featured on The Huffington Post , Buzzfeed , and Metro.UK to name just a few, and is currently burning up the internet. It seems pretty obvious that there will be a book at some point such as Sh*t My Dad Says , or maybe even an animated show. I don't think there's a dream that too big for Little Dude.
While these are technically penis pics, they're much more adorable and charming than something you'd send while sexting . Little Dude is a good-natured Everyman who seems more than ready to dress up as a superhero, or dive head first into a cake.
Here are some hilarious and somewhat charming pictures from the viral sensation, showcasing some of Little Dude's adventures and the comical situations he gets himself into.
It's my d**k in a cup! (Instead of a box, get it?) With all this craziness about which Starbucks holiday cup is better, here's how he decided to handle the situation.
Hello, my baby; hello, my honey! He's happy to see his gal.
Little Dude is having a dough-ball.
The future's so bright that he's gotta wear shades.
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Connecting people through photography.
Did you know, that 1 out of 4 americans has appeared on tv?
Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?
Everyday 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents
The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world
The average person laughs 13 times a day
The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old
The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised
Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience
Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?
22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in great britain
96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm
3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue
The 'guinness book of records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in public libraries
The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'coca-cola'
The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue
Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'
In 1995 a japanese trawler sank because a russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet
Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the Ikea-catalogue
1 cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life
In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people
Donald duck' was banned in finland, because he doesn't wear pants
74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists
More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders
21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep
Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is........
Fertility God in Candi Sukuh, Indonesia.
Only joking. At 62, I'm terrified of getting an erection in case it's my last!
My teenage daughter and some male friends 'sculpted' this 'Santa' this evening. I never realized that a prick is basically a bunch of varicose veins.They're going to finish the job tomorrow but, I told them that I'm not going to waste one of my extra large condoms.
Available at ALPHA event 22th 12.00 PM SLT (noon)
*FITTED FOR: LEGACY+ATHLETIC-BELLEZA JAKE-SUGNATURE GIANNI-KARIO FIT ONLY*
(ONLY RAISED OPTION INCLUDED, NO EXTRA FUNCTIONS INCLUDED).
+4 OPTIONS SPEEDO (SHOW BACK, SHOW FRONT, RAISED, HIDE)
+3 OPTIONS PENIS (ERECT, FLACCID, HIDE)
Why did building security hand me a pass with an erect penis on it?
Available at ALPHA event 22th 12.00 PM SLT (noon)
FITTED FOR: LEGACY+ATHLETIC-BELLEZA JAKE-SUGNATURE GIANNI-KARIO FIT ONLY*
(ONLY RAISED OPTION INCLUDED, NO EXTRA FUNCTIONS INCLUDED).
+4 OPTIONS SPEEDO (SHOW BACK, SHOW FRONT, RAISED, HIDE)
+3 OPTIONS PENIS (ERECT, FLACCID, HIDE)
Alpha event: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/ACCESS%203/132/111/1001
"Steen Castle is the oldest building in Antwerp, part of a former castle on the right bank of the Scheldt (l'Escaut).
The castle was built at the beginning of the 13th century. In the 16th century it was thoroughly rebuilt under Charles V and was given the name Heeren Steen.
Above the entrance is a statue representing the God of Fertility. Originally the statue had an erect penis, but it was cut off by the Jesuits in the 16th century. During this time, many heretics were executed at Steen Castle.
In front of the entrance of Steen Castle is the statue of Lange Wapper. He was a giant who could make himself as small as a mouse, and in the middle of the night would appear to frighten the people of Antwerp."
Here I am in a hotel room with a hardon! 6 inches fully erect with cockrings and full tight balls!
Photographed in Tanzania, Africa - From a safari vehicle, no cover
Please click twice on the image to view at the largest size
On a drive to our next safari camp, we were able to spend almost an hour watching a group of 20-30 hippos in a river. Most of the hippos were just side-by-side in a main group but, around the perimeter, there were almost continuous face-offs between two or three pairs of male hippos who were trying to show dominance by opening their mouths almost 180 degrees, displaying their very long teeth and pushing up against their opponent.
Note: In the Wikipedia text below, most people will be surprised to discover that the closest living relatives of the the Hippopotamus are cetaceans (whales, dolphins, porpoises, etc.).
From Wikipedia: The hippopotamus (Hippopotamus amphibius), also called the hippo, common hippopotamus or river hippopotamus, is a large, mostly herbivorous, semiaquatic mammal and ungulate native to sub-Saharan Africa. It is one of only two extant species in the family Hippopotamidae, the other being the pygmy hippopotamus (Choeropsis liberiensis or Hexaprotodon liberiensis). The name comes from the ancient Greek for "river horse" (ἱπποπόταμος).
After the elephant and rhinoceros, the hippopotamus is the third-largest type of land mammal and the heaviest extant artiodactyl (in the traditional, non-cladistic sense of the term, not including cetaceans). Despite their physical resemblance to pigs and other terrestrial even-toed ungulates, the closest living relatives of the Hippopotamidae are cetaceans (whales, dolphins, porpoises, etc.), from which they diverged about 55 million years ago. Hippos are recognisable by their barrel-shaped torsos, wide-opening mouths revealing large canine tusks, nearly hairless bodies, columnar legs and large size; adults average 1,500 kg (3,310 lb) for males and 1,300 kg (2,870 lb) for females. Despite its stocky shape and short legs, it is capable of running 30 km/h (19 mph) over short distances.
Hippos inhabit rivers, lakes, and mangrove swamps, where territorial males preside over a stretch of river and groups of five to thirty females and young hippos. During the day, they remain cool by staying in the water or mud; reproduction and birth both occur in water. They emerge at dusk to graze on grasses. While hippos rest near each other in the water, grazing is a solitary activity and hippos are not territorial on land. The hippo is among the most dangerous animals in the world due to its highly aggressive and unpredictable nature. They are threatened by habitat loss and poaching for their meat and ivory canine teeth.
Hippos are among the largest living land mammals, being only smaller than elephants and some rhinoceroses. Among the extant African megafauna, behind the two African elephant species, they average smaller than the white rhinoceros but are larger by body mass than the black rhinoceros and the giraffe. Hippos measure 2.90 to 5.05 m (9.5 to 16.6 ft) long, including a tail of about 35 to 56 cm (1.15 to 1.84 ft) in length and 1.30 to 1.65 m (4.3 to 5.4 ft) tall at the shoulder. Mean adult weight is around 1,500 kg (3,310 lb) and 1,300 kg (2,870 lb) for males and females respectively, very large males can reach 2,000 kg (4,410 lb) and exceptional males weighing 2,660 kg (5,860 lb), 3,200 kg (7,050 lb) and 4,500 kg (9,920 lb) (in captivity) have been reported. Male hippos appear to continue growing throughout their lives while females reach maximum weight at around age 25.
Hippos have barrel-shaped bodies with short legs and long muzzles.[34] Their skeletal structures are graviportal,[8]: 8 adapted to carrying their enormous weight, and their specific gravity allows them to sink and move along the bottom of a river. Hippopotamuses have small legs (relative to other megafauna) because the water in which they live reduces the weight burden. Though they are bulky animals, hippos can gallop at 30 km/h (19 mph) on land but normally trot. They are incapable of jumping but do climb up steep banks. Despite being semiaquatic and having webbed feet, an adult hippo is not a particularly good swimmer nor can it float. It is rarely found in deep water; when it is, the animal moves by porpoise-like leaps from the bottom. The eyes, ears, and nostrils of hippos are placed high on the roof of their skulls. This allows these organs to remain above the surface while the rest of the body submerges. The testes of the males descend only partially and a scrotum is not present. In addition, the penis retracts into the body when not erect. The genitals of the female hippos are unusual in that the vagina is ridged and two large diverticula protrude from the vulval vestibule. The function of these is unknown.
The hippo's jaw is powered by a large masseter and a well-developed digastric; the latter loops up behind the former to the hyoid. The jaw hinge is located far back enough to allow the animal to open its mouth at almost 180°. A moderate folding of the orbicularis oris muscle allows the hippo to achieve such a gape without tearing any tissue. The bite force of an adult female hippo has been measured as 8.1 kN (1,800 lbf). Hippo teeth sharpen themselves as they grind together. The lower canines and lower incisors are enlarged, especially in males, and grow continuously. The incisors can reach 40 cm (1 ft 4 in), while the canines reach up to 50 cm (1 ft 8 in). The canines and incisors are used for combat and play no role in feeding. Hippos rely on their broad horny lips to grasp and pull grasses which are then ground by the molars. The hippo is considered to be a pseudoruminant; it has a complex three-chambered stomach but does not "chew cud".
Unlike most other semiaquatic animals, hippos have very little hair. The skin is 6 cm (2 in) thick, providing it great protection against conspecifics and predators. By contrast, its subcutaneous fat layer is thin. The animals' upper parts are purplish-grey to blue-black, while the under parts and areas around the eyes and ears can be brownish-pink. Their skin secretes a natural sunscreen substance which is red-coloured. The secretion is sometimes referred to as "blood sweat", but is neither blood nor sweat. This secretion is initially colourless and turns red-orange within minutes, eventually becoming brown. Two distinct pigments have been identified in the secretions, one red (hipposudoric acid) and one orange (norhipposudoric acid). The two pigments are highly acidic compounds. They inhibit the growth of disease-causing bacteria, and their light absorption peaks in the ultraviolet range, creating a sunscreen effect. All hippos, even those with different diets, secrete the pigments, so it does not appear that food is the source of the pigments. Instead, the animals may synthesise the pigments from precursors such as the amino acid tyrosine. Nevertheless, this natural sunscreen cannot prevent the animal's skin from cracking if it stays out of water too long. The secretion does help regulate the body temperature of the hippo and acts as an antibiotic.
A hippo's lifespan is typically 40–50 years. Donna the Hippo was one of the oldest living hippos in captivity. She lived at the Mesker Park Zoo in Evansville, Indiana in the US until her death in 2012 at the age of 61. The oldest hippo recorded was called Bertha; she had lived in the Manila Zoo in the Philippines since it first opened in 1959. When she died in 2017, her age was estimated to be 65.
The hippo is considered to be extremely aggressive and has frequently been reported charging and attacking boats. Small boats can easily be capsized by hippos and passengers can be injured or killed by the animals or drown. In one 2014 case in Niger, a boat was capsized by a hippo and 13 people were killed. As hippos will often engage in raiding nearby crops if the opportunity arises, humans may also come in conflict with them on these occasions, with potential for fatalities on both sides.
Like most herbivores, hippos will consume a variety of plants if presented with them, but their diet in nature consists almost entirely of grass, with only minimal consumption of aquatic plants. Hippos are born with sterile intestines, and require bacteria obtained from their mothers' feces to digest vegetation. On occasion, hippos have been filmed eating carrion, usually near the water. There are other reports of meat-eating, and even cannibalism and predation. The stomach anatomy of a hippo is not suited to carnivory, and meat-eating is likely caused by aberrant behaviour or nutritional stress.
Hippo defecation creates allochthonous deposits of organic matter along the river beds. These deposits have an unclear ecological function. A 2015 study concluded that hippo dung provides nutrients from terrestrial material for fish and aquatic invertebrates, while a 2018 study found that their dung can be toxic to aquatic life in large quantities, due to absorption of dissolved oxygen in water bodies. Because of their size and their habit of taking the same paths to feed, hippos can have a significant impact on the land across which they walk, both by keeping the land clear of vegetation and depressing the ground. Over prolonged periods, hippos can divert the paths of swamps and channels.
Adult hippos move at speeds up to 8 km/h (5 mph) in water; typically resurfacing to breathe every three to five minutes. The young have to breathe every two to three minutes. The process of surfacing and breathing is unconscious: a hippo sleeping underwater will rise and breathe without waking up. A hippo closes its nostrils when it goes beneath the surface of the water. As with fish and turtles on a coral reef, hippos occasionally visit cleaning stations and signal, by opening their mouths wide, their readiness for being cleaned of parasites by certain species of fishes. This is an example of mutualism, in which the hippo benefits from the cleaning while the fish receive food. The hippos spend up to 16 hours a day in water as a way to stay cool.
Hippos coexist with a variety of large predators. Nile crocodiles, lions and spotted hyenas are known to prey on young hippos. However, due to their aggression and size, adult hippos are not usually preyed upon by other animals. Cases where large lion prides have successfully preyed on adult hippos have been reported but it is generally rare. Lions occasionally prey on adults at Gorongosa National Park and calves are sometimes taken at Virunga. Crocodiles are frequent targets of hippo aggression, probably because they often inhabit the same riparian habitats; crocodiles may be either aggressively displaced or killed by hippos. In turn, beyond cases of killing the seldom unguarded hippo calf, very large Nile crocodiles have been verified to occasionally prey on "half-grown" hippos—and based only on anecdotal evidence-possibly also adult female hippos. Aggregations of crocodiles have also been seen to dispatch still-living male hippos that have been previously injured in mating battles with other males
Available at ALPHA event 22th 12.00 PM SLT (noon)
*FITTED FOR: LEGACY+ATHLETIC-BELLEZA JAKE-SUGNATURE GIANNI-KARIO FIT ONLY*
(ONLY RAISED OPTION INCLUDED, NO EXTRA FUNCTIONS INCLUDED).
+4 OPTIONS SPEEDO (SHOW BACK, SHOW FRONT, RAISED, HIDE)
+3 OPTIONS PENIS (ERECT, FLACCID, HIDE)
If you wonder why South Congress Avenue, one of the major thoroughfares in Austin, looks so deserted, it is because this photo was taken on Thanksgiving in 2019 while I was on a walk with the family to burn off some of the calories I had just consumed at dinner.
Since 1938 the Austin Motel and its landmark neon sign has been
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