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Ask Amy: Teen boys hit home run with topless next-door neighbor
PUBLISHED: August 4, 2007 at 1:40 a.m. | UPDATED: September 6, 2020 at 10:24 p.m.
Dear Amy: I am a 40-year-old divorced father of 14-year-old twin sons.
Recently, a new neighbor moved in next door. She is a very nice, charming and easy to get along with 30-year-old single woman whom I’ll call “Martha.” A problem has arisen, and I need some advice. On weekend afternoons when my sons play baseball in our back yard, Martha sunbathes topless in her back yard (always while lying on her stomach, as far as I know).
The tall wooden fence between our yards provides her some privacy. However, when the boys hit a foul ball into her yard, she allows one of them to come over to retrieve it.
Even though the fence is tall enough to prevent the boys from peering in at her, and even though she stays lying on her stomach whenever she is topless, the boys seem to hit more than their fair share of foul balls over the fence. This past weekend while they were retrieving a ball from her yard, Martha allowed one of the boys to apply sunscreen lotion on her back.
I found her behavior inappropriate, because my boys are at the age when they notice girls, and because she doesn’t always keep her arms tightly at her side when sunbathing.
When I spoke to her about this, Martha said that it isn’t a big deal and that the boys are perfect gentlemen.
Now what do I do? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should I prohibit my sons from backyard baseball and make them go to the playground field a few blocks away?
Dear Concerned: The lotion spreading is not good at all.
If your sons were daughters, and if your neighbor was a 30-year-old man, you would see this behavior as worse than inappropriate. You might see it as predatory. Of course “Martha” doesn’t think this is a big deal. But she is in no position to judge.
Your sons should not have any physical contact with your neighbor.
As their dad, you should make this extremely clear to all parties, and then you should be vigilant to make sure that their contact remains nothing more than a neighborly “howdy” over the back fence.
Dear Amy: Last winter, I bumped the car behind me while backing into a parking space. I don’t believe I bumped it hard enough to damage it. Just then, the owner arrived; I think he checked the car over, and, as he drove off, he called something out to me.
I should have gotten out of my car and apologized, but I didn’t, and to this day, I don’t know why. I think I was in a state of shock.
I have never done anything like this before. I felt so bad that I didn’t take responsibility at the time this happened. I am still beating myself up over this.
I hope that if you print this, the driver might read it. I don’t expect forgiveness; I just want him to know how sorry I am.
Dear Seeking: I’ll quote a friend of mine when I did something similar: “They’re called ‘bumpers’ for a reason.” If he had an opportunity to knock on your window to talk about the situation and chose not to, then you don’t have a problem. The fact that the other guy drove off before you did proves that he suffered from aggravation – nothing more.
You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com.

Alina Percea, 18, sold her virginity online for around $13,000. Now she tells what it was like going through with a deal made virtually.
Alina Percea, 18, needed to pay for a computing degree.
So, perhaps in an attempt to prove how significant computing is in modern life, she auctioned her virginity on a German Web site.
However, unlike Natalie Dylan, the American who claims to have secured bids of $3.7 million for the privilege of deflowering her (although no deeds seem either to have been signed or done), Alina did not attract offers in quite the same region.
The best bid she managed to secure came in at 8,800 pounds, or just over $13,000. The bidder, a 45-year-old Italian man, came through at the last minute by doubling the leading price.
Which was charming of him, so much so that Alina has now chosen to reveal details of how the deal enjoyed closure.
You will be moved to hear that she did, indeed, enjoy it. She was flown to Venice to meet her fairly decent proposal.
The Daily Mail quoted her as describing her first impressions: "At the arrivals lounge, a man came over, smiled, handed me a box of chocolates and said: 'Welcome to Venice.' He looked much younger than 45, short, but nicely dressed, with dark hair, green eyes and a kind smile."
So it all started, as memorable days should, with a pleasant surprise. Alina admitted she was hoping for something of a "Pretty Woman" scenario.
The man took her site-seeing in Venice and didn't happen to mention whether he was single, married or just a little odd. He had booked them into a five-star hotel for the consummation of the transaction.
As for the act itself, well, Alina says they had sex just the once (after all, he was 45) and apparently had breakfast the next morning "just like any other couple."
Oh, and for breakfast, Alina had a morning-after pill.
Forgive me if I didn't mention it, unprotected sex was part of the deal. Of course, the gentleman had a certificate to prove that he was STD-free.
May I leave you with one final twist to a story that neither Danielle Steel nor Mills and Boon nor Stephen King would have dared even to outline?
Alina would like to see her benefactor again. And she promises that if he agrees to see her, she won't make him pay. I think she means "not for the sex, anyway".
Isn't it lovely how the Web can sometimes create the perfect conditions for romance to have a chance?
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