Teen Meets Porn
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Teen Meets Porn
High school overachiever meets porn star beauty in 'The Girl Next Door'
High school overachiever meets porn star beauty in 'The Girl Next Door'
SHERI LINDEN
The Hollywood Reporter
| Herald-Journal
A sharp, vivacious comedy that pairs a straight-arrow high-schooler and a former porn star, "The Girl Next Door" marks its director and scripters as talents to watch and affirms that its young star, Emile Hirsch, is a big-screen natural. As the title character, Elisha Cuthbert will be a draw, as will the film's no-nonsense attitude toward sex. Word-of-mouth among younger audiences should contribute to a strong bow next month for Fox.
Hirsch stars as Matthew, an overachieving high school senior who idolizes JFK and plans a career in politics. As president of the student council, he's raised $25,000 to bring Cambodian teen Samnang (Ulysses Lee), a nerdy mathematical genius, from his jungle village to the upper-middle-class comfort of Westport High. It's a running joke that loses steam, though the Samnang funds provide a key plot point. While most of the senior class is preoccupied with prom fever and trips to the beach, Matthew is consumed with a college scholarship competition that requires a speech on the subject of moral fiber. Enter the gorgeous girl next door.
Adventurous Danielle (Cuthbert, of "24"), who's house-sitting for her aunt, is the same age as Matthew but worlds more experienced, and she goads him into doing something his packed schedule has never permitted -- having fun. Adopting her mantra -- "Just go with it" -- Matthew falls for the mysterious Danielle, and she's drawn to his earnestness and decency. Soon after they share their first, very public kiss, Matthew learns more about her recent past, courtesy of his tough-talking friend Eli, a sex-obsessed virgin (terrific work by Chris Marquette of "Joan of Arcadia"). The sweet blonde, who told Matthew she recently quit her job in order to start over, is also the sensual brunette Athena, star of porn videos.
In another era, Danielle would be a fallen woman seeking redemption. Reflecting more open times, the script by Stuart Blumberg, David T. Wagner and Brent Goldberg makes no apologies for her past. "Girl" views the sex business as a bizarre free enterprise whose practitioners have a slightly dumb openness -- Danielle being the exception. Darker aspects are avoided, though there are allusions to male filmmakers as pimps collecting female talent. Along those lines, the unpredictable Kelly (Timothy Olyphant) and his former partner, porn mogul Hugo Posh (James Remar), are separately trying to lure Danielle back to the screen, with Matthew caught in the middle.
It's fine to eschew sociology, but because the film offers no background for Danielle or motivation for her career choice (besides money), she remains too much of a fantasy figure, notwithstanding the warmth and humor Cuthbert brings to this dream girl with her feet on the ground.
Still, the collision of innocence and experience unfolds with high energy under the helm of Luke Greenfield ("The Animal"). The story's concessions to formula conventions -- the importance of the prom, the lesson learned -- have a novel twist. Greenfield makes fine use of fantasy sequences, finding the giddy edge in screwball and slapstick scenes and capturing the laissez faire culture of high school.
As Matthew's best friends and co-conspirators in an unusual extracurricular project, Marquette and Paul Dano ("L.I.E.") provide strong support. Occupying a parallel world of benign ineptitude are Westport's adults -- among them Timothy Bottoms as Matthew's dad.
Toplining the able cast, Hirsch ("The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys," "The Emperor's Club") displays leading-man charisma, sincerity and outstanding comic abilities -- just watch him in the scenes when Matthew finds himself dosed with Ecstasy.
The spirited music soundtrack, which includes a few boomer-friendly rock and blues numbers, underlines the sense of teen rebellion. The technical package is polished, with production designer Stephen Lineweaver credibly creating a wide range of settings, from staid suburban interiors to the lurid explosion of kitsch at an adult-film convention in Las Vegas.
'The Girl Next Door'
Rating: R
Length: 109 minutes
Theaters: Hollywood 20, Converse 6, Wynnsong 7
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Peloton’s mega-viral holiday commercial inspired thousands of hot takes on Twitter and later a hilarious shared universe commercial for Ryan Reynolds’ Aviation Gin. Apparently not all of the spinoff possibilities have been exhausted though, at least if we’re to believe Boy Meets World actress turned porn star Maitland Ward.
The mover and shaker, who has found success in both children’s programming and very adult programming, recently had a chit-chat with a cameraperson for TMZ , and during the exchange, she was asked about turning the recent Hallmark controversy into a porn parody. She was open to the idea but then pivoted toward one she likes better: the now infamous Peloton ad.
“…Not as much as the Peloton commercial has potential, but… [Laughs.] No, I don’t know about that. Wait, actually, let’s do a Peloton porn!”
Now, here’s the thing, there’s clearly an element of humor in this whole conversation. They’re playfully bantering back and forth and Maitland Ward is not going to drive home and shoot a Peloton porn parody. That being said, however, the porn industry has a long and storied history of turning damn near anything into a porn parody. Here’s one for The Lion King (NSFW) . Here’s one for Rick and Morty (sorta SFW) and The Justice League and Pokemon and Call Of Duty (NSFW) and perhaps most disturbingly of all, here’s one for Rugrats (NSFW) . I haven’t watched the last one, but I’m pretty confident Tommy’s mom Didi has to be the star of the show there, right? Someone with hair like this has to have some unconventional tastes.
Back to Peloton though, a porn parody makes a lot of sense from a plot standpoint. You have a woman with a boring husband who is trying to get out of her shell. You have a new technologically sophisticated piece of equipment. She’s already shown a willingness to make compilation videos and send them to said husband. They live in a spectacular house with amazing views, and on top of all that, we’ve seen in the follow-up Aviation Gin ad that she goes hard on the drinking and has several female friends who are open to a night out.
Also, I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want you to get fired from your job, but I investigated for the sake of being thorough and there is a robust section on Pornhub dedicated to sexual encounters with personal trainers. The more you know…
So, will this actually happen? I wouldn’t bet large amounts of money on it, but as you can tell from reading this article, I have really talked myself into it and now think it absolutely should. Here’s to hoping a few weeks from now, I’ll be writing up an NSFW trailer story that everyone will click on but no one will share on their Facebook pages.
Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.
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Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands
Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors
More stories to check out before you go
Cinemablend is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s why you can trust us .
Peloton’s mega-viral holiday commercial inspired thousands of hot takes on Twitter and later a hilarious shared universe commercial for Ryan Reynolds’ Aviation Gin. Apparently not all of the spinoff possibilities have been exhausted though, at least if we’re to believe Boy Meets World actress turned porn star Maitland Ward.
The mover and shaker, who has found success in both children’s programming and very adult programming, recently had a chit-chat with a cameraperson for TMZ , and during the exchange, she was asked about turning the recent Hallmark controversy into a porn parody. She was open to the idea but then pivoted toward one she likes better: the now infamous Peloton ad.
“…Not as much as the Peloton commercial has potential, but… [Laughs.] No, I don’t know about that. Wait, actually, let’s do a Peloton porn!”
Now, here’s the thing, there’s clearly an element of humor in this whole conversation. They’re playfully bantering back and forth and Maitland Ward is not going to drive home and shoot a Peloton porn parody. That being said, however, the porn industry has a long and storied history of turning damn near anything into a porn parody. Here’s one for The Lion King (NSFW) . Here’s one for Rick and Morty (sorta SFW) and The Justice League and Pokemon and Call Of Duty (NSFW) and perhaps most disturbingly of all, here’s one for Rugrats (NSFW) . I haven’t watched the last one, but I’m pretty confident Tommy’s mom Didi has to be the star of the show there, right? Someone with hair like this has to have some unconventional tastes.
Back to Peloton though, a porn parody makes a lot of sense from a plot standpoint. You have a woman with a boring husband who is trying to get out of her shell. You have a new technologically sophisticated piece of equipment. She’s already shown a willingness to make compilation videos and send them to said husband. They live in a spectacular house with amazing views, and on top of all that, we’ve seen in the follow-up Aviation Gin ad that she goes hard on the drinking and has several female friends who are open to a night out.
Also, I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want you to get fired from your job, but I investigated for the sake of being thorough and there is a robust section on Pornhub dedicated to sexual encounters with personal trainers. The more you know…
So, will this actually happen? I wouldn’t bet large amounts of money on it, but as you can tell from reading this article, I have really talked myself into it and now think it absolutely should. Here’s to hoping a few weeks from now, I’ll be writing up an NSFW trailer story that everyone will click on but no one will share on their Facebook pages.
Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.
Your Daily Blend of Entertainment News
Thank you for signing up to CinemaBlend. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
Cinemablend is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site (opens in new tab) .
©
Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street,
New York,
NY 10036.
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