Teen Masturbation Bathroom

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Many parents find it superawkward when their kids start masturbating, but it's not only normal, it's healthy. Readers often ask each other how they should respond, especially when kids masturbate in public. There's one fairly common denominator among the responses: teach your child appropriate boundaries without making them feel ashamed. The question is . . . how?
According to the University of Michigan's Development and Behavior Resources program, the vast majority of kids discover their genitals and the pleasure they can bring by age 6. While discussions seem to revolve mostly around boys and girls who are in the 10 to 13 range, whatever age your child is at when she or he makes this discovery is the time to start discussing when and where this behavior is appropriate.
Carrie A.'s two kids (ages 10 and 13) have been taught that masturbation is fine in the privacy of their bedroom or bathroom, and not in other places. She has promised them she won't come in without knocking, and she always waits for them to say, "Come in." This seems like a respectful approach, and one that will likely build trust in her family.
Door-locking is not allowed in Tisha P.'s home, but her kids, too, know that they have privacy behind the closed doors of their bedrooms. For safety reasons, she has asked her kids to never use objects (only hands), and to wash their hands when they're finished. Beyond that, they are allowed to explore their bodies freely in private.
There does, perhaps not surprisingly, seem to be a discrepancy between parental perceptions of boys versus girls when it comes to masturbation. Many moms see it as normal for boys, but somewhat disturbing when girls do it. This is likely the result of deep cultural biases that many of us hold unconsciously.
Lesley comments that "we seem to find boys exploring their bodies a much more acceptable practice." But she has an 11-year-old daughter and adds that she would rather know that her child is exploring her own body rather than "letting someone else do the 'exploring'" as her daughter enters her teen years.
Eva W. suggests to moms who have discomfort around this to "do some soul searching" to try to understand why you have such difficulty accepting what doctors and psychologists say is perfectly normal behavior. In other words, trying to untangle your own hang-ups can go a long way toward helping your child grow up without shame regarding her body. Eva is walking the talk: she has begun talking about puberty and basic reproduction to her 10-year-old twins, as she believes these are related topics that parents should proactively pursue.
The common-sense takeaway here is that kids age 10-13 clearly understand that certain things are to be done at certain places and times. For example, we eat dinner in the early evening, at the table in the kitchen. We take a bath in the bathroom before we go to bed. It's not a great leap for them to understand that masturbation, like going to the toilet, is private.
How did you handle your child's discovery of masturbation?
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Florida sheriff’s detectives are investigating a cellphone video purportedly showing a 15-year-old girl having sex with multiple boys in a public high school bathroom after school.
Authorities originally decided not to pursue any criminal charges, but when the video surfaced and was sent to news outlets and posted online, detectives and the Florida Department of Children and Families decided to investigate further, Lee County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Tony Schall said Tuesday. Schall declined to elaborate on what possible charges could be filed in the case.
According to a police report, the girl confirmed she had sex with a number of “willing males” in the bathroom at South Fort Myers High on May 17. The report said a school-based sheriff’s detective watched a security video and saw 25 teen boys walk into the restroom. The girl and her parents were unwilling to press charges, Schall said.
The video was posted on Snapchat and Twitter, and forwarded to local news media, and at least one TV station contacted police, Schall said.
Lee County School spokeswoman Amity Chandler said in a statement late Tuesday that while 25 boys were seen going into the bathroom, the number of boys the girl had sex with “is less than the number seen going into the restroom.” She did not elaborate.
Greg Adkins, the county’s school superintendent, posted a letter Tuesday saying that officials “were shocked to hear of the events at South High,” but added, “I am certain you appreciate the privacy afforded to the students involved.”
Tampa-area defense attorney John Trevena said officers are almost certainly looking into whether anyone who shot cellphone video — or posted it — can be prosecuted under child pornography laws.
“If a video was taken, it’s unquestionably child pornography. There’s no ambiguity there,” he said. “Just the sheer volume of participants, allegedly 25 boys, suggests mental health issues with a 15-year-old girl. It should be investigated as a crime, taking advantage of someone with a mental health issue.”
The case has stunned area parents, who are left wondering if the school is safe, and national victims’ advocates.
“It just sort of takes my breath away,” said Scott Berkowitz, the president of the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. “It’s hard to imagine how something like this even happens.”
Berkowitz said a key question is whether a 15-year-old can consent to sex. Florida’s age of consent is 18, but state law contains a provision allowing 16- and 17-year-olds to consent to having sex with someone age 16 to 23.
The ages of the boys who allegedly had sex with the 15-year-old girl at the high school were still unclear, and Chandler said the district won’t disclose how many students were disciplined. A note from principal Melissa Layner to parents said students were disciplined “quickly.”
Superintendent Adkins wrote that “conversations about right and wrong have occurred in many contexts, and with the parents present.”
“We recognize that this is not just an issue of student behavior, but also of supervision.”
But he also asked that “we move forward from this incident without further harsh judgment of those involved.”
“They are adolescents who have made a serious mistake. They have been disciplined. They must now be afforded the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.”
South Fort Myers High has about 2,000 students.
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