Teen Masturbation 14

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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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Many parents find it superawkward when their kids start masturbating, but it's not only normal, it's healthy. Readers often ask each other how they should respond, especially when kids masturbate in public. There's one fairly common denominator among the responses: teach your child appropriate boundaries without making them feel ashamed. The question is . . . how?
According to the University of Michigan's Development and Behavior Resources program, the vast majority of kids discover their genitals and the pleasure they can bring by age 6. While discussions seem to revolve mostly around boys and girls who are in the 10 to 13 range, whatever age your child is at when she or he makes this discovery is the time to start discussing when and where this behavior is appropriate.
Carrie A.'s two kids (ages 10 and 13) have been taught that masturbation is fine in the privacy of their bedroom or bathroom, and not in other places. She has promised them she won't come in without knocking, and she always waits for them to say, "Come in." This seems like a respectful approach, and one that will likely build trust in her family.
Door-locking is not allowed in Tisha P.'s home, but her kids, too, know that they have privacy behind the closed doors of their bedrooms. For safety reasons, she has asked her kids to never use objects (only hands), and to wash their hands when they're finished. Beyond that, they are allowed to explore their bodies freely in private.
There does, perhaps not surprisingly, seem to be a discrepancy between parental perceptions of boys versus girls when it comes to masturbation. Many moms see it as normal for boys, but somewhat disturbing when girls do it. This is likely the result of deep cultural biases that many of us hold unconsciously.
Lesley comments that "we seem to find boys exploring their bodies a much more acceptable practice." But she has an 11-year-old daughter and adds that she would rather know that her child is exploring her own body rather than "letting someone else do the 'exploring'" as her daughter enters her teen years.
Eva W. suggests to moms who have discomfort around this to "do some soul searching" to try to understand why you have such difficulty accepting what doctors and psychologists say is perfectly normal behavior. In other words, trying to untangle your own hang-ups can go a long way toward helping your child grow up without shame regarding her body. Eva is walking the talk: she has begun talking about puberty and basic reproduction to her 10-year-old twins, as she believes these are related topics that parents should proactively pursue.
The common-sense takeaway here is that kids age 10-13 clearly understand that certain things are to be done at certain places and times. For example, we eat dinner in the early evening, at the table in the kitchen. We take a bath in the bathroom before we go to bed. It's not a great leap for them to understand that masturbation, like going to the toilet, is private.
How did you handle your child's discovery of masturbation?
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

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Teen Masturbation 14