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I Discovered I Was Bisexual At Girl Scout Camp
By heatherbarmore — Written on Apr 03, 2020
The first time I kissed a girl was at Girl Scout camp when I was 14 years old. Girl Scout camp, of all places! She was a short, red-haired girl named Bailey who I pecked on the lips in a moment of teenage experimentation.
I kissed her again in the parking lot in front of my rather prudish mother who stood by, ready to load me up into our minivan. In my periphery I could see her eyes widen and her face scrunch in disgust. “Let’s go,” she said curtly.
After kissing Bailey, I returned home and started my sophomore year of high school. I didn’t head through the doors of my small town school and proudly proclaim that I was contemplating my sexuality and possibly being a lesbian. A kiss was just a kiss, and a peck was my version of "we’ll see."
Although my parents were sexual beings by my estimations — I once found more condoms than any man could possibly need in a dish on my father’s dresser — they never spoke of the big "it" out loud. Since the Internet came of age, just as I did, instead of having "the talk" with my parents, I learned about sex via the World Wide Web. Thanks to Ask Jeeves (remember Ask Jeeves?), I learned about orgasms and the purpose of a clitoris.
From September to June, I admired (and attempted to approach) the boys in my grade and was quickly rebuffed. It seemed I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, popular enough for them. I simply wasn’t enough at all.
Come July, I officially switched to the other team, so to speak. Nothing serious, mind you, just casual flirtation and a willingness to be open and affectionate with women. 
But it was Girl Scout camp where my curiosity about women, bisexuality, and sexual orientation first piqued. It wasn’t simply the place I learned to tie a rope, build a fire, kayak and sail; it was where I learned to appreciate women as leaders.
I envied these women because they were able to be themselves and — as it seemed from my teenage vantage point — had been able to forge a path of acceptance in themselves and those around them. The women I met were creative, talented, and kind. They often wore their heart on their sleeves.
These weren't the girls I was forced to be around in my high school for nine months of the year — these were women. Real women. They weren’t mean or haughty, but adventurous and clever. These were the type of women I hoped to become.
Eventually, during my junior year of high school, I moved past personality traits and truly began to notice the female form of my fellow staffers, the way a woman’s body moved with hips and curves. At the time, I was a breast girl. An enthusiast, if you will, so I admired (clandestinely) the chests of those around me to compare and contrast to what I had to offer. 
I developed a lesbian crush on my friend Lindsay, but she was dating a fellow counselor. On one of our breaks, I brought Lindsay home with me before heading back to camp. My father was courteous, but later referred to her as "that dyke." It was then I realized that crushing on a woman and holding hands in the woods was as far as it could ever go.
Eleven years later, I stood in the bathroom of my apartment. My girlfriend at the time, Heidi, was taking a bath. I knew she had been dying for one, so I surprised her with a Lush bath bomb. I swirled the water around with my hand and asked how she liked it before receiving a kiss. Not a peck, not experimentation, but a full-on plant where she grabbed my face with her wet hands.
I got up from the edge of the tub and started to undress myself and prepare for bed. We had sex the night before — some of the best sex I've ever had — and she fell asleep wrapped around me so that I could feel her chest on my back.
Three years later, long after Heidi and I broke up, I was sitting on a friend’s rooftop with a group of girlfriends. While I hadn't inherited my parents’ reluctance to discuss sex, I'd been known to keep many intimate details to myself, namely the one where I openly say that I'd had sex with women and I'd probably do it again.
After a bottle of wine or two, it came up. Amid close friends, I nonchalantly mentioned an ex who happened to also have a vagina.
One friend simply said, “Oh, so you’re bisexual? How did I not know this?” and the conversation moved on. Another friend poked me in the arm, gave me a side-eye and said, “I told you no one cares.”
I'm bisexual. I'm attracted to people , full stop. For far too long, that was something I was reluctant to admit. Once upon a time, my parents sent me off to Girl Scout camp where I was imparted with a healthy dose of independence, and, more importantly, an ability to finally find women with whom I could form a bond. 
Perhaps it was finding that capacity within myself, in this world full of gray areas, that made it possible for me to eventually be able to connect to women based on friendship and acceptance. Over the years, I've found a natural lust for both women and men, and eventually a confidence to go after both sexes.
In a recent conversation with my once-prudish mother, I mentioned what camp did for me: how it turned me into a woman who loves people — all people — and I told her that she raised a woman who wanted to love (and be loved) by whomever.
I broached the topic carefully, waiting for disappointment. She smiled and said, “Good.” Nothing more, nothing less. Simple acceptance, which is really all I ever wanted.
Heather Barmore is a blogger, freelance writer and policy advocate. Visit her website or follow her on Twitter .
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.






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Last updated at 23:48 03 October 2007
The mother of a young tennis star yesterday described the moment she allegedly found the 13-year-old and her female coach naked in bed together.
The woman said she screamed "You are nothing but a paedophile!" at 29-year-old Claire Lyte after stumbling across the pair performing sex acts on each other.
However, she told a court she did not report the incident to police because Lyte's father begged her not to ruin her coaching career and insisted it would not happen again.
It was not until nearly a year later that she became convinced the illicit lesbian relationship had continued and informed the authorities, she said.
When she found out that police were involved, her daughter climbed onto the roof of their house and threatened to commit suicide, she added, although she was later talked down.
The girl, who cannot be identified legal reasons, initially told police the bedroom incident had been a one-off, but she now claims this was a lie and that Lyte had threatened to destroy her tennis career if she exposed the alleged abuse.
Her mother was giving evidence at Liverpool Crown Court where Lyte - who until injury ended her career was one of Britain's top women players - is accused of sexual activity with a child.
The coach denies the charges, saying the 'pushy and ambitious' mother concocted the allegations after her daughter's tennis career stalled.
The girl's mother dabbed at tears as she described the incident in October 2005 when she came home unexpectedly and allegedly found them in bed together.
"My daughter jumped up and ran off and Claire pulled the bed sheet over her head," she said.
"Claire stayed in the bed under the sheet, and I shouted at both of them to get some clothes on and come downstairs.
"I was screaming at Claire, "Get out, what have you done, what have you done to my child, you are nothing but a paedophile".
"They came downstairs dressed, and my daughter sat down in a chair and curled into a ball. Claire sat with her head in her hands.
"Claire just kept telling me she loved my daughter. I kept saying, "She is 13". My daughter just cried and cried."
She said after talking for hours, Lyte agreed to cease coaching her daughter and distance herself from her.
The next day the mother took her daughter back to the prestigious Lawn Tennis Association academy in Loughborough which she attended.
Later that day, however, she said Lyte's father Colin rang 'begging' to meet her.
She eventually relented, driving to a motorway cafe that evening to discuss what had happened.
She told the court: "Colin pleaded with me not to do anything, to let him sort it out.
"He said he couldn't let her career end like this. He said he would really sort Claire out and this would never happen again."
But two weeks later, when the mother demanded to look at a text message on her daughter's phone, the girl locked herself in the toilet and threatened to ring ChildLine because her mother was 'abusing' her.
"I was so upset and furious and felt it was all connected with Claire," she said.
Lyte had meanwhile been warned by bosses at the academy for becoming too close to girl players and had been found sharing a toilet cubicle with the 13-year-old, the court heard.
Her mother said she reluctantly accepted Mr Lyte's assurances but in August last year she saw them getting out of a minibus together and realised Lyte was wearing her daughter's clothes, she said.
"I knew then I had to go to the police," she said.
When police raided Lyte's home they found clothing allegedly belonging to the girl.
These included a pair of pink knickers with her name tag sewn into them which were shown to the jury.
Lyte, from Shirley, near Solihull, West Midlands, denies five counts of sexual activity with a child between May 2005 and June last year.
Sorry we are not currently accepting comments on this article.
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group




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'It's f***ing perfect' Trans woman shows her vagina to friend
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Video: Could you be demisexual? New term defines people who only get aroused by PERSONALITY – and feel repulsed by the idea of one-night stands

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