Teen Home Orgasm

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Teen Home Orgasm
By Audrey Fine Published: Mar 10, 2008
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"One day I was at the bus stop alone with this supercute guy who I really liked. I thought that he hated me, but boy was I so wrong! Well, we were just standing there getting bored, and before I knew it, he kissed me! I was in total shock and couldn't move or talk until the bus came! That sure was a great way to start off the day!"
"So, there was this girl Emily in my freshman class who was SO conceited. Seriously, she worshipped the ground she walked on. I didn't like her because she's the school slut, but everyone else seemed to think she was so nice. Well, I recently found out that she was addicted to drugs and sex. I felt so bad for not liking her after that."
"I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!"
"My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out. I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
"Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!"
"One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!"
"One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. Oh no!!! I could not believe it. He doesn't hate me, but he hasn't been paying much attention to me either — just in case I have another bottle of spray!"
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"I'm having an orgasm," came the shout heard around the quad. It was clear. It was unmistakable. It was unavoidably audible. And timed perfectly to cause maximum shock value.
Author, Keynote Speaker, Food Humorist©
Apr 30, 2012, 09:41 AM EDT | Updated Jun 30, 2012
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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Author, Keynote Speaker, Food Humorist©
"I'm having an orgasm," came the shout heard around the quad.
It was clear. It was unmistakable. It was unavoidably audible.
And timed perfectly to cause maximum shock value.
My teen-aged daughter and I were on our sixth and final college campus tour. By now, the routine had become familiar. After an admissions counselor dutifully presented the college's credentials and outlined the admissions requirements, a hyper-enthusiastic student, as well-practiced in the school story as in walking backwards while telling it, gave us a tour of the campus. If "admissions" was a team, the student tour guides would be its cheerleaders.
This one started innocently enough, passing venerable academic buildings, the majestic library, a state-of-the-art athletic facility. There was something so familiar, but that's because this was my alma mater . Yep, I spent four years on this campus and received my degree from Lehigh University . Indeed, as we passed Maginnes Hall, it brought back vivid memories of HR 41, formally known as Human Sexuality.
It felt good to be back after such a long absence. Now I remember: I had a really good time here. That included a certain amount of debauchery that goes with college. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna drop serious coin for my daughter to experience that.
On the other hand, being out from under her parents' wing will be one of the most enriching growth opportunities of her life, not only to learn, but to meet all types of interesting and different people.
As joyful recollections danced in my head, our group of about 20 sixteen-year-olds and 30 parents was directed by our perky guide to the campus residence halls. As a father, particularly of a daughter, I can only hope that she won't be doing what I did, right here in these same residence halls, when the drinking age was still 18.
In what sounded almost like a public address announcement delivered by a male voice from a room nearby, broadcast to the surrounding vicinity: "I'm having an orgasm."
He wasn't the kind of "interesting and different people" I had in mind.
To say that our group response was muted is an understatement. Although every single one of us heard it, silence prevailed as if trying to pretend it didn't happen. Our tour guide's reaction could best be described as mortified.
Awkward doesn't do the scene justice; this was a conspiracy of awkwardness. Or, as a teenager might say, " ewwww ." Other than walking in on a couple of students actually having sex, what could be more uncomfortable to a co-ed group of teenagers with their parents in tow, just about to enter the dormitory where they might potentially spend the next four years, than to hear someone loudly proclaim their orgasm?
I should have stayed quiet. But the former standup comedian in me instinctively took over, yelling back to the orgasmic shout-out as I would have to a heckler at a nightclub: "You're always too soon." The result was awkward on steroids.
Our tour guide led us inside the "co-ed" dorm, making sure to inform us that the bathrooms were not co-ed. Oh, what a relief.
I couldn't help but notice that she later failed to point out the health center, where I recall that they dispensed birth control as readily as band-aids.
I decided that our next tour will be women's colleges.
Author, Keynote Speaker, Food Humorist©
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A lot of kids, curious about the world around them, find themselves wondering about the body. Since sexuality is taboo when you're a kid, lot of us missed on learning from experience exploring the body -- and that's where a new series of videos comes in.
YouTube channel Bria and Chrissy has created a series that explores that concept. Not every person has seen every part on every body, especially if a their sexuality precludes them from seeing certain folks naked.
That's why when Bria and Chrissy created " Lesbians Touch a Penis for the First Time ," it struck a chord and went viral, garnering over 28 million views and kicking off conversations about peoples' bodies, sexuality, and how the two intersect.
In their new video, " Straight Women Touch Another Vagina For The First Time ," volunteer Stevie welcomes three cis, straight women to touch a vagina that isn't their own, and like all the other videos in the series, it's a eye-opening experience.
"I grew up Catholic, so I feel like there is a lot of guilt associated with exploring your own body," one of the volunteers states, echoing the idea that because the world sexualizes the body in all situations, touching yourself -- and especially other people -- is always considered sexual.
As for the volunteers, one is markedly nervous about the upcoming experience, but all three are totally open and honest about what they're about to do. One remarks, "All of my girlfriends, including myself as well, do this," as she grabs Stevie's breast, making a good point about what is socially acceptable touching between some people.
All in all, the experience proved valuable, highlighting that not every touch is sexually charged. "I think it's very disrespectful and rude and offensive to sexualize everything that woman does," the volunteer continues. "I'm not an object, I'm a human being and interactions with other people, and they don't have to be sexualized."
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Have you’ve ever seen a woman have an orgasm in porn? No, sorry, definitely not the time you’re thinking of. And oh God no, absolutely not when they were using that thing. And no, not then either, they were probably faking.
It’s a sad and curious thing that in the whole internet of things – where every whim, fancy, morbid curiosity and spot-picking fascination is indulged with a click – it’s so difficult to find women just genuinely having a good time on camera.
The lack of authentic female-pleasure online is a well documented phenomenon .
Famous journalist and feminist writer Caitlin Moran has written and spoken at length about the effort involved in trying to find one solitary woman appearing to have a genuine orgasm online.
In her book How to Be a Woman she talks about the nightmarish frustration of trying to find, anywhere, footage of a woman coming.
Perhaps Moran hadn’t got the memo – female ejaculation on camera has, shockingly, been banned by the government .
Anyone looking for good (read: authentic) female porn online, must do battle with the sex-nightmare of internet content, which is filled with horribly sharp acrylic nails and painful positions that are more likely to send you fleeing to a nice nunnery than get you in the mood.
It’s hardly a surprise that while some studies couldn’t find a single man who hadn’t watched porn, estimates show that approximately only a third of women are going online to find what they want.
You can read more here about how almost all porn involving women has been shot from the male viewpoint – up until the 1980s, at least.
Enter Hysterical Literature , the art-porn crossover made by filmmaker Clayton Cubitt that involves no graphic images, and no nudity at all in fact.
There’s nothing to be found but a comfortable woman enjoying headphone-shakingly loud sexual pleasure, shot attractively in black and white.
Hysterical Literature launched back in August 2012 on YouTube with Session One.
In it, alt-porn star Stoya sits primly behind a desk, all alone, reading a book to camera.
Dressed in the kind of cutesy, off-the-shoulder striped top that wouldn’t be unwelcome at your Grandmother’s barbecue, Stoya’s reading is increasingly interrupted by splutters and gasps, until six minutes into the reading session she has an orgasm on screen, and the whole thing comes to an end.
Only the occasional ‘buzz’ of sound lets you know that under the table lies an artist with a vibrator.
Session One became an immediate internet sensation when it first launched, garnering over 16,000,000 views, which – gratifyingly – is thousands more than most pieces of explicit online pornography might ever expect to receive.
Today, Hysterical Literature includes twelve short videos of women across a range of ages and ethnic backgrounds, each having the time of their lives whilst reading from a book of their choosing.
Collectively, these twelve women and their twelve orgasms have been watched over 60 million times (which adds up to approximately ‘123 years and 144 days’ worth of footage, according to the website ).
Cubitt’s exploration of “feminism, mind/body dualism, distraction, portraiture, and the contrast between culture and sexuality,” doesn’t require fleshy close-ups or physical gymnastics to be erotic.
You’ll find nothing fake, exploitative or uncomfortable here.
Instead – as many of the women have themselves pointed out in interviews and articles including Toni Bentley’s in Vanity Fair – the video’s eroticism lies in the battle between the pull of physical pleasure and the girls’ determination to keep reading.
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It’s in the laugh at the end of the session that inspired the name hysterical in the title, and in the smiles throughout, which show genuine, female pleasure on screen.
There’s a whole page on the website dedicated to the experience had by the women in the videos, labelled as essays: “PS: to my parents (who I know will read this), I hope that you are as proud of me as I am of myself.
“I pray that you see the merit, the revolution that I am part of, the importance of this project,” writes the artist, writer and performance artist Solé.
Beautiful, honest, celebratory and miles away from the choreographed, fleshy moral quagmire that constitutes so much of online pornography, Hysterical Literature is the art-porn cross over that offers genuine pleasure with a smile.
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