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N.J. Mom Sues Over Breast-Feeding Video-Turned Porn MaryAnn Sahoury's appearance in an instructional video led to an unexpected result. Examined. Examined. 9:54.
Son sues mom and dad for destroying his porn stash A man is seeking more than $86,000 from his parents in civil court for allegedly throwing out his large pornography collection.
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Sue, Cheryl, and Lexi--all freshman in college--have been friends forever (their moms met in the hospital). Every year, they do something special to celebrate their birthday, and this year, on their eighteenth, they're determined to lose their virginity.
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The cause of Queen Elizabeth’s death has been revealed.
On Thursday, a document was published by the National Records of Scotland which lists that the late monarch’s death was due to old age.
According to an expert from an entry in the Register of Deaths, Her Majesty died on September 8, 2022 at 3:10 PM at Balmoral Castle in Scotland at the age of 96.
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WASHINGTON (Reuters) -A federal judge on Thursday ruled that former President Donald Trump does not have to provide the court with a sworn statement attesting to whether he believes the list of items seized by the FBI from his Florida estate is accurate and complete. The order from U.S. District Judge Aileen Cannon came after U.S. Senior Judge Raymond Dearie, appointed as special master at Trump's request to oversee a review of the records seized from Mar-a-lago, had ordered Trump's lawyers to let him know if they disputed the accuracy of the government's property inventory list. Trump has claimed, without evidence, that the FBI may have planted evidence when it searched Mar-a-lago on Aug. 8.
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Jordan Peterson broke down in tears during an interview on “Piers Morgan Uncensored” (via Mediaite) when asked about Olivia Wilde referring to him as “a hero to the incel community.” Wilde was on her “Don’t Worry Darling” press tour when she revealed to Interview Magazine that Chris Pine’s villainous character in the film, Frank, is […]
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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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