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Submissive people tend to carry a painful past which causes them to be the way they are, not wanting to stand out in order to avoid furthermore suffering.
Submissive people typically don’t raise their voice, they keep themselves in second place and abide by whatever more authoritative people may demand from them.
However, this type of attitude can sometimes lead a person into being involved in a harmful and unhealthy relationship. Ultimately, they may become a victim. However, it’s complicated to change this way of being.
It’s not that these type of people don’t want to stop being submissive, but rather because their past experiences have led them to acquire certain psychological traits that they can’t easily get rid of.
Submissive people do not prioritize their needs or their desires. Instead, they’re always putting others’ needs and desires first.
Their lack of assertiveness pushes them to adopt a secondary position in a group job, for example. All of this is due to their great struggle for expressing their point of view or opinions.
Although they may wish to do so, they feel self-conscious and withdraw themselves. They believe that what they think won’t be taken into consideration and even end up doubting their own opinions.
Submissive people aren’t necessarily born with this way, but instead have gone through experiences that little by little have caused them to withdraw within themselves and become who they are.
A childhood where parents have an unhealthy relationship or teenage years filled with constant bullying can be more than enough reasons for someone to take on a totally submissive role.
Low self esteem and insecurity causes them to feel useless unless they offer themselves to others’ disposal.
This isn’t healthy for them, because in the long run, they become very vulnerable to being easily harmed.
We will never see submissive people looking for conflict. On the contrary: they will avoid it at all costs.
Conflicts make them very nervous, maybe because it reminds them of a previous experience.
The problem about this is that in order to avoid conflict, they will lower their heads, take on what they aren’t willing to accept and not give themselves the place they deserve.
This concern of avoiding any type of conflict or discussion causes a lot of exhaustion.
Some may confuse it with shyness, bit in reality, it’s a way of being unnoticed and a way of not standing out.
Submissive people experience great anxiety over what others may think about them. That is why they tend to dress and act in an extremely discrete way.
This will guarantee them avoiding any situation that may result humiliating or that may possibly generate some kind of conflict.
Submissive people tend to think too much about others and are so vulnerable that they need someone to protect them.
Therefore, it’s completely natural for them to end up in dependent relationships where the other person gives meaning to their life, and at the same time offers protection.
This is also thought to be true for relationships where abuse is present. Even though the other person doesn’t treat them well, in their minds they’re saying, “…at least I have someone”.
This is truly a point of view that exposes them to suffering a great deal from their relationships.
Have you been in contact with submissive people? Are you a submissive person? Breaking away from this state of maximum submission is possible, but it requires hard work and awareness of what is actually going on.
It’s possible to learn to be more assertive, raise your self esteem and to also get rid of any insecurity that makes you feel worthless.
After all, submissive peopler tend to suffer a lot.
Their attitude attracts violent and aggressive people, so much so that with time and some harm they must finally recognize the need to start giving themselves the appreciation they deserve.
Moors, A., & De Houwer, J. (2005). Automatic processing of dominance and submissiveness. Experimental Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1027/1618-3169.52.4.296
Fournier, M. A., Moskowitz, D. S., & Zuroff, D. C. (2009). The interpersonal signature. Journal of Research in Personality. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2009.01.023
Yüksel-Şahin, F. (2015). An Examination of Bullying Tendencies and Bullying Coping Behaviors Among Adolescents. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.04.415
Perren, S., & Alsaker, F. D. (2006). Social behavior and peer relationships of victims, bully-victims, and bullies in kindergarten. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2005.01445.x
Olweus, D. (2000). Bullying. In Encyclopedia of Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-012617955-2/50012-6
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Teen Ebut I Nasiluyt
