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The Real Truth About Teens and Sex: From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits--What Teens Are Thinking, Doing, and Talking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices
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The former editor-in-chief of Seventeen magazine draws on hundreds of letters, e-mails, interviews, and a nationwide survey to provide a revealing look at teens and sex, covering such topics as virginity, celibacy, the role of the media, birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, peer pressure, sex education, and the latest trends. Reprint.
Sabrina Weill has served as editor-in-chief, editor, and Sex and Body editor at Seventeen, founding executive editor of CosmoGIRL, and editor of Scholastic's teen health magazine Choices. She is the author of The Seventeen Guide to Sex and Your Body and We're Not Monsters: Teens Speak Out About Teens in Trouble.
‎ Perigee Trade (September 5, 2006)
#3,388,903 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2012
While I have told my daughter that she can ask me ANYTHING when it comes to sex, drugs, boys, etc., as a normal teenager she wasn't all that keen on talking to me. When she asked for the book, I figured it might help answer some of her questions that she was too... See more
While I have told my daughter that she can ask me ANYTHING when it comes to sex, drugs, boys, etc., as a normal teenager she wasn't all that keen on talking to me. When she asked for the book, I figured it might help answer some of her questions that she was too embarrassed to ask me. And it has. Great book for any teenager who may not want to talk about it, yet it did help open some dialogue with my daughter as she would ask questions about some of the things she read. If your pre-teen or teen isn't asking questions, but is looking for answers, this is a great book that may help both of you.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2007
I never knew how much I didn't know about teens these days, until I read this book. I have two teens, and they knew a LOT more than I did about things in this book. I know my children's friends, where they are, and what they are doing. What I didn't know was what some of... See more
I never knew how much I didn't know about teens these days, until I read this book. I have two teens, and they knew a LOT more than I did about things in this book. I know my children's friends, where they are, and what they are doing. What I didn't know was what some of their friends were doing. The book was helpful in reiterating what I was already doing: talking to my teens. Communication is so important. The book really emphasizes that. It also gave me insight into that fact that although my teens may not show it, they are listening to what I tell them, and that talking about sex, drugs, alcohol and consequences isn't just a one-time conversation; it's ongoing.

I have already used some of the suggestions in the book with great results.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2009
I am in a Master's degree program for school counseling and purchased this book to help me with a project. The author did an amazing job capturing the real feelings and thoughts of adolescents and teens. I learned a great deal about the importance of proper and ongoing... See more
I am in a Master's degree program for school counseling and purchased this book to help me with a project. The author did an amazing job capturing the real feelings and thoughts of adolescents and teens. I learned a great deal about the importance of proper and ongoing communication between teens and adults. I recommend this book to any parent or educator.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2014
Very well written, easy to read, eye opening for me as a parent of 16 year old. I recommend every parent with pre-teens to read this to kind of get a glimpse of what's happening around us and our kids.
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2006
I loved this book and wish all parents would read it! Ms. Weill had my complete attention when she started out by saying that "teens nationwide are suffering from a lack of honest communication from their parents and other pivotal adults around them..." She later says that... See more
I loved this book and wish all parents would read it! Ms. Weill had my complete attention when she started out by saying that "teens nationwide are suffering from a lack of honest communication from their parents and other pivotal adults around them..." She later says that it is dangerous to rely on schools to provide sex education and that parents have to be the primary educators of their children. She is confident that despite the horrified looks on their faces when we bring it up, teens want to talk about sexuality with adults they trust - and that they want adults to know what is going on. Teens are vulnerable emotionally and physically and susceptible to regret as their feelings emerge after sex. We can help them avoid those situations in which "sex just happens" and the consequences that follow.

Far from inducing fear, Ms. Weill constantly reassures parents that research shows talking to kids about sexuality does not make them have sex earlier and that there are positive trends reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggesting youth are having less intercourse as well as using more contraception, and that there was 30% less teen pregnancy between 1994 and 2004. She is matter of fact about the risks of the Internet, early sex, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, but never lets parents off the hook. The more parents know, the better equipped they will be to help their teens avoid "sexual risks" including sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.

Ms. Weill reminds parents throughout this book that we [adults] have the power to have an enormous influence on the behavior of our teens and although I cannot endorse her statement that "teens should be pulling away from adults" I do agree that they need to take on more responsibility and that they still need our supervision and guidance. Teens need to know that 66% of teens and 81% of 12 - 14 year olds regret their first sexual experience and parents and teens need to know that teens have the knowledge and strength to "make good decisions."

Parents being in denial will not help and it will undermine our relationships and make them superficial. I appreciate the fact that Ms. Weill respects youth and is very clear that sifting through their emails or reading a diary or blog is a major invasion of privacy and it will take a long time to rebuild the trust and credibility lost by the action. There is no substitute for putting the time into developing a strong and positive relationship with our child!

Parents need to be able to talk honestly with their children about sexual rights, pleasure, and risk. Teens need to know that it feels good to be excited, but that sexuality should be protected, consensual and planned with someone they love to feel great. For parents who do not think they can talk easily with their kids, Ms. Weill includes resources and wonderful examples throughout the book and there is even a discussion about developing a safety plan with your teen.

My favorite quote from this book is "good parenting is always inconvenient for the parent."
Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2006
As a person who works closely with teens and also reads a lot about teen sexuality and teens in general, I found this book to be too simplistic and very very basic. It reads as though the author is still writing one of her teen advice columns when her audience is primarily... See more
As a person who works closely with teens and also reads a lot about teen sexuality and teens in general, I found this book to be too simplistic and very very basic. It reads as though the author is still writing one of her teen advice columns when her audience is primarily adults. The tone of this book very condescending. Weill constantly repeats her qualifications to write this book ("teens trust me," "I have spoken to 1000s of teens in my career"); while those qualifications are good, the constant mentioning of them gets old and can be insulting to the reader.

The statstics sprinkled throughout the book were interesting and I wish more of the text was spent talking about their implications. What does it mean that X percent of 13 year olds have had sex? Have had 4 or more partners? The text was quite separated from the survey results and was too simplistic and not very insightful. I understand that this book was supposed to be accessible, but I found it so basic that it offered very little that was new or even interesting.

Her quotes from teens were also suspect to me. If she got responses from 1000s of teens about their sex lives and beliefs, why these quotes? They seem to come from the same mold and offer little diversity. Basically, they all say that a person should wait for sex or talk about negative experiences with sex. Where are the stories of teens who have healthy sexual experiences? I am not necessarily advocating teen sex, but I do believe that people should be exposed to the idea that some teens do like to have sex and have it responsibly.

If you have never read anything about teen sex before, this might be useful. If you have, it's simply a sensationalized summary in a condescending tone.
Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2006
This is one more example of a book by a journalist posing as a sex expert. The media create so-called "experts," and Sabrina Weill is one of them. All the tired cliches and ideas can be found: losing virginity (when it is really a gain in freedom) and the fuzzy place of not... See more
This is one more example of a book by a journalist posing as a sex expert. The media create so-called "experts," and Sabrina Weill is one of them. All the tired cliches and ideas can be found: losing virginity (when it is really a gain in freedom) and the fuzzy place of not recommending comprehensive sex education while walking the line with abstinence "education." Weill simply speaks the fuzzy line of the National Campaign to Prevent Teenage Pregnancy, which has failed to come down clearly in favor of comprehensive sex education. We don't need a thousand more studies to indicate that telling the truth is better than preaching.

Unfortunately, the truth is not always obvious in this book. The study carried out by the author is not particularly well designed and the sample is not much. Weill has some helpful observations about discussions with parents, but most of her book is not relevant to today's teenagers, who are active sexually. She is biased against friends-with-benefits, but this is actually a more balanced choice than possessive dating or hooking up for many.
Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2006
This book explains it all in regards to what is going on with our children today. I think parents of pre-teens also should read this to prepare for what is ahead. It was a real eye-opener because all the information came directly from teens.I keep it as a reference for... See more
This book explains it all in regards to what is going on with our children today. I think parents of pre-teens also should read this to prepare for what is ahead. It was a real eye-opener because all the information came directly from teens.I keep it as a reference for talking to the kids and also to understand what some of their slang words are really meaning.
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