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There comes a time in every urologist's career that a patient makes a request that leaves a physician speechless. That question was "can you make my penis smaller"?'
Rafael Carrion, urologist at the University of South Florida

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Published: 09:46 BST, 12 February 2015 | Updated: 14:06 BST, 12 February 2015
A 17-year-old boy has undergone the world's first penis reduction surgery, surgeons claim.
The American teen requested the surgery after his penis grew too large, restricting his ability to have sex or play competitive sports.
The boy's surgeons were shocked when he came to them complaining that his penis was too big.
When flaccid, it measured almost seven inches in length and had a circumference of 10 inches - around the size of a grapefruit.
Surgeons described it as being shaped like an American football.
The surgeon who treated the teenager, Rafael Carrion, a urologist at the University of South Florida, told MailOnline: 'There comes a time in every urologist's career that a patient makes a request so rare and impossible to comprehend that all training breaks down and leaves the physician speechless.
'That question was "can you make my penis smaller"?'
A 17-year-old boy in Florida is thought to be the first person to undergo penis reduction surgery. The teenager requested the operation after his penis (pictured on an X-ray) grew too large
The teenager had suffered from several bouts of priapism - an unwanted erection, due to having a condition in which abnormally-shaped blood cells block vessels in the penis, causing it to swell.
These episodes had left his penis bloated and misshapen.
He said he was unable to have sex or play competitive sport, had difficulty wearing his pants due to his 'large and heavy phallus', and was embarrassed by how visible it appeared underneath regular clothing.
Though his penis was so large, it did not grow when he had erections - it merely became firmer.
'His penis had inflated like a balloon,' said Dr Carrion.
'It sounds like a man's dream - a tremendously inflated phallus - but unfortunately although it was a generous length, it's girth was just massive, especially around the middle.
'It looked like an American football.'
Dr Carrion and his team looked at the medical literature but couldn't find any precedent for what to do.
'Lord knows there's a global race on how to make it longer and thicker in plastic surgery circles, but very little on how to make it smaller,' he said.
In the end, they decided to embark on a surgical technique normally used to treat Peyronie's disease, a condition where scar tissue develops along the penis, causing it to bend.
The surgeons sliced along an old circumcision scar, unwrapped the skin of the penis, and cut out two segments of tissue from either side.
'It was a bit like having two side tummy-tucks - that's how we explained it to him,' said Dr Carrion.
The teenager said he was unable to have sex or play competitive sport, had difficulty wearing his pants due to his 'large and heavy phallus', and was embarrassed by how visible it appeared underneath clothing (file pic)
The doctors were able to bypass the urethra - the tube which carries urine through the penis - and all of the nerves that provide sensation.
The teenager spent just two days in hospital before returning home, apparently 'ecstatic' with his new penis.
The doctors did not take final measurements of the penis, although Dr Carrion told MailOnline the result was 'generous'.
'It's slightly longer and slightly thicker than the average male, but now it looks symmetrical, and the patient was very satisfied,' he said.
The teen now has no problem having normal erections and has full sensation.
'It looks cosmetically appealing, and he said it was a life-changing event, he's all smiles,' said Carrion.
Since the paper describing the surgery was published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Dr Carrion has only had one person approach him to request the same surgery.
He said: 'This [second] man seems to have a naturally large penis, because there's nothing unusual in his medical history, so it doesn't seem like there's any real abnormality in this case'.
Whereas the first teenager had an obvious medical condition that needed treating, performing surgery on someone who is completely healthy but having difficulties with the size of his penis is another matter, said Dr Carrion.
'These are controversial waters we're stepping in,' he added. 'Who is to judge what is a legitimate complaint and what isn't?
'You don't normally have men complaining about this kind of thing. These are very unique cases.'
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In recent years, Zac Efron has proven himself to not only be a heartthrob for young, musical-loving preteens, but a bonafide, fantasy-inducing, grade A piece o' man meat for those twentysomething viewers. OK, I'm not trying to objectify him entirely, and yes, I did just compare him to a slab of meat — but can you blame me? both women and men alike can't stop singing the praises of Efron's physique, and in a new dual promo for Workaholics and Efron's latest flick, Neighbors , the boys of Workaholics exemplify just exactly what it is about Efron that made them swoon: His penis. We're going to have to take their word for it, plus 11 other reasons Efron is the perfect human specimen.
The boys of Workaholics used all of the below phrases to describe Zac Jr.
1. "Did Leonardo Da Vinci circumcise you? It's beautiful"
5. "It was big, and it would overshadow us"
6. "Your body is so hard, it's so freaking hard... and then some."
Adam DeVine also commented, accurately, on the state of Efron's peepers: "Your eyes are like an ocean and I wanna take a dip."
Sunday's MTV Movie Awards incident was like Janet Jackson's Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction but socially acceptable and forever Gif'ed.
We loved him as the mop-headed Troy in High School Musical , his buzzcut in The Lucky One , and his updated crew cut in That Awkward Moment .
Rolling around, tanned and taught, in tighty-whities. What was that movie about again?
And as seen in the Workaholics promo, he knows how to rock out with his — you get it.

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Pullout

Jun 21, 2001 at 4:00 am

Or, On the Annoyingness of Bisexuals

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Jack, another freshman, sat on the other side of me. He leaned over and whispered loudly in my ear, "Are you going to bed her?"
It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about. "Uhm, no," I responded. "I don't think she wants to."
He leaned over again: "Well, I ' ll bed you."
At the time I was openly bisexual but had yet to do anything about it beyond a few boy-boy kisses. Mind you, I hadn't done much more with girls; my high-school years were a wasteland of hapless chastity, brought about by a mixture of self-loathing and long, unkempt hair. I looked like a stoner but didn't even drink, leaving me with no social group to call my own. Finally, in my senior year, I went "punk," or as punk as you could go in Cheney, WA, in 1984. I cut my hair, dyed it coppery red, and started dressing hip (by the standards of my time and place). Almost all my fellow "new wavers" were queer or fag hags; since I thought it would be some kind of rebellious blow to the narrow Cheney world, I decided I was bisexual. But though college opened up a whole new world of opportunities, I had yet to fuck anyone.
Abashed by my poor track record as a bisexual, I followed Jack to his dorm room, where we undressed and I put his erect penis into my mouth and sucked on it for a while, and then--he said he never came from blowjobs, but maybe he was being polite--he lay on top of me, gave me some horrendous hickeys, and masturbated until he came on my stomach, at which point he jumped up and grabbed a towel. I never got erect myself, which at the time I blamed on the mescaline.
That night, I proved I could suck cock, I wasn't afraid of his semen, and I had no particular concerns about my masculinity. Logically, I must be bisexual. So I ran around spouting the bisexual party line: "All human beings are fundamentally bisexual and it's only bad, repressive socializing that forces us to choose between het or homo." (As opposed to the insecure straight-guy party line, which goes something like this: "No hetero guy could, like, ever, ever suck cock. I mean, dude!") My ardent bisexual friends and I would point to what behavioral scientists call "situational homosexuality"--straight people placed in a single-sex environment (say, men in prison or girls at boarding school) who begin having sex with people who share their same genitals--as proof of everyone's fundamental bisexuality.
But years later, when I finally got around to putting my dick in another guy's mouth, I had to think about girls to get erect, and even then I had trouble keeping it up. I had to face it: Despite my best efforts, I was not bisexual. Of course, because I sucked cock once, insecure straight guys will no longer accept me as straight. (There's a joke that goes something like, "You make a delicious omelet, no one calls you a chef. But suck one cock....") Some insecure bisexuals refuse to accept me as straight for the same reason, so on this one issue, it seems, frat boys and switch hitters agree.
Why? Why claim me as a bisexual? Why be so annoyingly strident (as I was back in college) about bisexual identity either way--isn't the larger point about tolerance and accepting everyone's individual sexuality? "Situational homosexuality" only demonstrates that people who have no choice will make do with what's available. Human beings are adaptable. But if sexual desire is about anything, it's about what you're drawn to when you do have a choice. And I'm drawn to women.
Why can't bisexuals grow up and leave us monosexuals alone?
Bret Fetzer is a heterosexual who just happens to love theater.

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