Teen Dating Abuse
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Teen dating violence (TDV), also called, “dating violence”, is an adverse childhood experience that affects millions of young people in the United States. Dating violence can take place in person, online, or through technology. It is a type of intimate partner violence that can include the following types of behavior:
Teen dating violence has profound impact on lifelong health, opportunity, and well-being. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. The good news is violence is preventable and we can all help young people grow up violence-free.
Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name-calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship, but these behaviors can become abusive and develop into serious forms of violence. Many teens do not report unhealthy behaviors because they are afraid to tell family and friends.
Teen dating violence is common. Data from CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey and the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey indicate that:
Some teens are at greater risk than others. Sexual minority groups are disproportionately affected by all forms of violence, and some racial/ethnic minority groups are disproportionately affected by many types of violence.
Unhealthy, abusive, or violent relationships can have short-and long-term negative effects, including severe consequences, on a developing teen. For example, youth who are victims of teen dating violence are more likely to:
Violence in an adolescent relationship sets the stage for problems in future relationships, including intimate partner violence and sexual violence perpetration and/or victimization throughout life. For example, youth who are victims of dating violence in high school are at higher risk for victimization during college.
How can we stop teen dating violence before it starts?
Supporting the development of healthy, respectful, and nonviolent relationships has the potential to reduce the occurrence of TDV and prevent its harmful and long-lasting effects on individuals, their families, and the communities where they live. During the pre-teen and teen years, it is critical for youth to begin learning the skills
needed to create and maintain healthy relationships. These skills include knowing how to manage feelings and how to communicate in a healthy way.
CDC developed Dating Matters®: Strategies to Promote Healthy Teen Relationships to stop teen dating violence before it starts. It focuses on 11-14-year-olds and includes multiple prevention components for individuals, peers, families, schools, and neighborhoods. All of the components work together to reinforce healthy relationship messages and reduce behaviors that increase the risk of dating violence. Please visit the Dating Matters website to learn more!
CDC also developed a resource, Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs, Policies, and Practices pdf icon[4.52 MB, 64 Pages, 508] that describes strategies and approaches that are based on the best available evidence for preventing intimate partner violence, including teen dating violence. The resource includes multiple strategies that can be used in combination to stop intimate partner violence and teen dating violence before it starts.
Breiding MJ, Basile KC, Smith SG, Black MC, Mahendra RR. (2015). Intimate partner violence surveillance: uniform definitions and recommended data elements, version 2.0. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Basile KC, Clayton HB, DeGue S, Gilford JW, Vagi KJ, Suarez NA, … & Lowry R. (2020). Interpersonal Violence Victimization Among High School Students—Youth Risk Behavior Survey, United States, 2019. MMWR supplements, 69(1), 28.
Smith, SG, Zhang, X, Basile, KC, Merrick, MT, Wang, J, Kresnow, M, Chen, J. (2018). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 Data Brief—Updated Release. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Foshee VA, McNaughton Reyes HL, Gottfredson NC, Chang LY, Ennett ST. (2013). A longitudinal examination of psychological, behavioral, academic, and relationship consequences of dating abuse victimization among a primarily rural sample of adolescents. Journal of Adolescent Health; 53(6):723-729.
Roberts TA, Klein JD, Fisher S. (2003). Longitudinal effect of intimate partner abuse on high-risk behavior among adolescents. Archives of Pediatric Adolescent Medicine; 157(9):875-881.
Exner-Cortens D, Eckenrode J, Rothman E. (2003). Longitudinal associations between teen dating violence victimization and adverse health outcomes. Pediatrics; 131(1):71-78.
Smith PH, White JW, Holland LJ. (2003). A longitudinal perspective on dating violence among adolescent and college-age women. American Journal of Public Health; 93(7):1104–1109.
Niolon PH, Kearns M, Dills J, Rambo K, Irving S, Armstead T, Gilbert L. (2017). Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan: A Technical Package of Programs, Policies and Practices. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
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Dating abuse is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship, including stalking. It can occur in-person or electronically, and might occur between a current or former dating partner. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship. However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2017
Who is Affected by Teen Dating Abuse?
Dating violence is a serious problem many young people are facing. 1 in 3 teens in the US experiences physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, (loveisrespect.org) and teens have some of the highest rates of sexual assault across age groups. LGBT teens are particularly vulnerable to dating abuse, but it’s important to know that dating abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, orientation, race or ethnicity, family background, or income level. Teens are particularly vulnerable, as they may not be able to access legal or support services without the help of a parent or guardian.
Power and Control: Use this helpful tool if you are unsure whether or not your relationship is unsafe. Check out the list below and see if your partner has ever said any of these things to you. If so, this may be a sign you are in an abusive relationship.
Power & Control Wheel Developed by Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs of Duluth, Minnesota.
Red Flags - Dating abuse may include but are not limited to, if your partner:
If you are worried for a friend’s safety in their relationship, you can make a difference by knowing what is helpful and what is hurtful:
If you observe someone using controlling or abusive behaviors:
Deciding for the partner who s/he can see, and talk to
Controlling extracurricular activities
Discouraging partner from seeing friends and family
Dictating who partner can contact on facebook, twitter, etc.
Making partner feel bad about him/herself
Embarrassing partner in front of friends and/or online
Telling lies to friends, family, teachers, etc
Making partner “payback” for dates/gifts with physical favors
Borrowing money and not paying it back
Interfering with partner’s ability to get/keep a job
Controlling partners spending habits
Pressuring or forcing partner to perform sexual acts against his/her will
Using sex after an argument to make up
Tampering with partner’s birth control
Pressuring partner to send explicit photos
Making the abuse out to be “no big deal"
Trying to make partner feel like it’s her/his fault it happened
Playing the abuse off like it was “Just a joke”
Threatening to commit suicide if partner chooses to leave
Making/carrying out threats to harm partner or partner’s family, friends, or pets
Threatening to expose partner’s personal secrets, such as sexual orientation
Acting like the “Master of the Castle”
Having expectations about behavior in the relationship based on gender. Example: Girls are supposed to look “hot” Guys are supposed to be “tough”
Making all decisions for both people
Placing partner in fear by using looks, gestures, actions, or threats
Smashing things/destroying property
Sending frequent, unwanted text messages/emails and expecting partner to respond immediately
Posting intimidating status updates
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