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People use the phrase “daddy issues” to refer to father-daughter relationships that have a negative impact on the way a woman relates to men.
Women with "daddy issues" do not have specific symptoms, but common behaviors include having trouble trusting men and being jealous.
Women whose fathers are physically or emotionally absent tend to have troubled romantic relationships and marriages, research shows.
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Denver, CO
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Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
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Neuroscience
We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
Posted July 13, 2021
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Reviewed by Chloe Williams
Are you involved with a woman with "daddy issues"?
As a boyfriend or husband, how do you know if the relationship problems you’re having with your girlfriend or wife are related to her “daddy issues”? Or as a woman, how do you help your brothers or male friends recognize the kinds of problems they might encounter with women who did not have a supportive, loving, meaningful relationship with their dads while they were growing up?
The phrase “daddy issues” doesn’t have a specific definition with a specific list of symptoms. The term simply means that certain kinds of father-daughter relationships have a negative impact on the way the woman relates to men in her life, particularly the men she is romantically involved with. Decades of research that I discuss in my book, Improving Father-Daughter Relationships: A Guide for Women and Their Dads, shows that women whose fathers are physically or emotionally absent and not supportive or involved in their lives have more troubled romantic relationships and marriages than women who were “well-fathered” throughout childhood .
How do these poorly fathered or father-deprived women generally behave in their romantic relationships with men?
Sound familiar? The more of these relationship problems she has, the more likely it is that her relationship with her dad was not supportive, communicative, comfortable, or meaningful. As a boyfriend or husband, my book can serve as a “stop, look and listen” alert system to help you find out more about how women’s relationships with their dads can end up affecting your relationship with her. Her past with her dad is “her” past. But that past also affects your life in the present and the future.
Linda Nielsen, Ed.D. , is a Professor of Education at Wake Forest University in Winston Salem, NC. She is an expert on father-daughter relationships and on shared physical custody for children with separated parents.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
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Maya, a queer pixie artist, meets and falls madly in love with her insta-crush: the sexually fluid fashionista, Jasmine. It's all gumdrops and fairytales until Maya discovers Jasmine's passi... Read all Maya, a queer pixie artist, meets and falls madly in love with her insta-crush: the sexually fluid fashionista, Jasmine. It's all gumdrops and fairytales until Maya discovers Jasmine's passionate relationship with a secret sugar daddy. Maya, a queer pixie artist, meets and falls madly in love with her insta-crush: the sexually fluid fashionista, Jasmine. It's all gumdrops and fairytales until Maya discovers Jasmine's passionate relationship with a secret sugar daddy.
10 Ways For Strong Women To Move Past Their 'Daddy Issues'
By Terry Gaspard — Written on May 23, 2020
A girl stands a better chance of becoming a self-confident woman if she has a close connection with her father. A dad's presence (or lack of presence) in his daughter's life will affect how she relates to all men who come after him.
I understand this firsthand because I had a close bond with my father before my parents' divorce, but our relationship suffered drastically after he remarried when I was eight years old. Fortunately, I was able to reconnect with him as a young adult and heal our relationship.
I spent three years doing research for my book, Daughters of Divorce , comprised of over 300 interviews with women who reflected upon their parents' divorce.
The most common themes to emerge from these interviews and surveys were trust, self-esteem issues and a wound in the father-daughter relationship. What one might colloquially call "Daddy Issues".
If you heal the father wound, you can heal your daddy issues and learn to trust again.
In a divorced family, there are many ways that a father-daughter relationship can suffer.
In her book, Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship , researcher Linda Nielsen explains that after a divorce only 10-15 percent of fathers and daughters get to enjoy the benefits of shared parenting.
Girls need a loving, dependable father figure to establish a positive identity as a female and cultivate feelings of self-worth. However, many fathers may lose contact due to fear of being rejected by their daughter after divorce.
Some remarried dads may become preoccupied with their new lives or may lack the financial resources to support two families.
Unfortunately, many mothers don't understand the importance of the father-daughter bond and might not encourage it. Consequently, many daughters of divorce have damaged relationships with their fathers. If the damage is severe, a girl can grow into adulthood with low self-esteem and troubled relationships with men.
Many daughters of divorce have trust and abandonment issues that surface as they emerge into young adulthood. Hopefully, your feelings of mistrust will lessen if you find ways to mend it, such as extending trust to partners who show you in word and deed that they are trustworthy.
Establishing a healthy level of trust with a partner is possible, but takes time and effort.
Based on my research , if your father fits the description of a distant, unavailable or absent dad, you are likely to suffer from some degree of "Daddy Hunger."
One type of distant father is passive — he seems to lack confidence in parenting and avoids conflicts at all costs. On the other hand, some absent dads lack the maturity, interest or ability to nurture a relationship with a daughter who may put demands on them.
In my experience, daughters of divorce who grow up with a distant, unavailable or absent father tend to grow into adulthood with a diminished sense of trust in men and faith that relationships will last.
A father is his daughter's first love, so of course that relationship will affect how she interacts with other men. According to author Meg Meeker MD , the love he gives her is a starting point for other relationships. After all, a daughter's relationship with her father is the first one that teaches her how she should be treated by a man.
Girls are particularly vulnerable to the loss of an intact family. Daughters tend to define themselves through relationships and identify with their mother, so they might have a hard time coping if they perceive rejection from their fathers.
It's not uncommon for a girl to have a delayed reaction to the powerful effects of parental divorce. This delayed reaction coined the " sleeper effect " by distinguished researcher Judith Wallerstein, which may make relationships problematic during young adulthood, just as a young woman is establishing who she is and what she desires from intimate partners.
In order to repair your relationship with your father and heal your "daddy issues", you need to examine your preexisting beliefs about him, as well as his ability to restore his connection with you.
Remember, it's never too late to strengthen your relationship with your father.
It's important to address the self-defeating believes you hold about your father.
Once you've examined your beliefs about your father's ability to change, you are ready to begin transforming your relationship with him.
You may want to seek professional help if your relationship with your father doesn't seem to be improving or you need more guidance or support.
For the most part, I have noticed that with work and patience, relationships between fathers and daughters can and do improve. Examining your relationship with your father and practicing forgiveness will allow you to create a new story for your life.
Terry Gaspard is a licensed therapist, author, and college instructor. For more information, visit her website .
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