Teen Cross Dressers
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Teen Cross Dressers
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My 15-year-old son told me that he is a cross-dresser. He also asked me if I could help him paint his nails red. Should I let him wear girls’ clothes and makeup? If yes, what kind of clothes? Should I take him to get a manicure or a pedicure? Should I give him the makeover he desires? I want to be a good parent but I don’t know what cross-dressing help looks like here. Help!
I think that a young person who is exploring gender identity or sexuality needs a safe place to do so and having a trusted adult helps. In my clinic, I see many youth who are more “gender bending” and fluid in their expression of masculinity and femininity these days. Still, teenagers who express themselves in ways different than most other teenagers find themselves the targets of bullying or violence. I think a good place to start is to get in contact with a community group (like TransFamily of Greater Cleveland) in order to have a safe place for self-expression and meet other people who identify as transgender.
There are many identities within the transgender community including transsexuals, cross dressers, performers, people with disorders of sexual development (DSDs) and those who simply identify as “queer.” Your son may be able to meet others with a similar experience and have an opportunity to find his path.
A recent study by a colleague of mine who also cares for gender variant youth noted that the young people in his practice had a high rate of mood disorders and that one in nine youth had self-injurious behavior. These findings underscore the importance of mental health support in addition to having an affirming, accepting environment.
Henry Ng is an Internist-Pediatrician at MetroHealth Medical Center and also serves as Clinical Director of Metro’s PRIDE Clinic, Ohio’s only medical home for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) patients.
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Our teenage son cross-dresses in my wife's clothes
An erotic interest in cross-dressing is pretty common and falls within the normative range of human sexual interest and behaviour
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My wife has had some items of clothing go missing over the last few months, which baffled us. A few weeks ago, she went into our 15-year-old son's bedroom to wake him up and thought he was wearing tights and a skirt in bed. While he was at school we discovered a stash of her clothes concealed in his wardrobe: bras, tights, sports bras, swimsuits and sports skirts. We have no idea how to deal with this situation. Doing nothing doesn't feel right and anyway, my wife would like her clothes back.
Relax. An erotic interest in cross-dressing is pretty common and falls within the normative range of human sexual interest and behaviour. Try not to make too much of this and do your best not to make your son feel wicked or ashamed. Be aware that one cannot make any assumptions about his sexual orientation (most male cross-dressers are heterosexual).
I am assuming that your son has never expressed a desire to be female. That would also be fairly common and would similarly require your acceptance – although you might want to consult a transgender specialist. But I imagine this is simply his emerging sexual style, so let him be. Try to have a brief, calm conversation in which you need to be very accepting (at least act it!). Remind him that you love him no matter what, and understand his desire to experiment, but that he needs to purchase his own clothes, rather than use his mother's.
Mariette Pathy Allen has been photographing the transgender and crossdressing community for nearly 40 years. But her career focus started by accident.
Beth and her husband, Rita, near Boston.
It was the last day of Mardi Gras in 1978 and Allen found herself dining alone in her New Orleans hotel for breakfast. A group of crossdressers seated nearby invited Allen to join them. A meal turned into a morning lounging by the pool, where the photographer picked up her camera.
"When I lifted my camera to my eyes, I found myself looking straight into the eyes of a crossdresser who was in the middle of the group," she wrote in an email interview. "As I took the picture, I felt that I wasn't looking at a man or a woman, but the essence of a human being, and I said to myself, 'I have to have this person in my life.'"
Through the 1980s and the decades to follow, Allen, who lives in New York, would crisscross the country, attending conferences, participating in radio and TV shows, and slowly seeking out and getting to know crossdressers, and then transgender people. Allen was not only a photographer, but an advocate for a maligned and misunderstood community.
"Many people I met at that time thought they were the only person in the world that was 'that way,'" Allen said. "Some thought they were crazy and bad, guilty, unworthy. When/if they told their wives, many marriages ended in divorce. There were many debates about telling their children, and if yes, at what age. They lost their church communities if the church knew, and kept everything to do with their jobs secret."
Allen used her lens to reflect a more accurate reality — a positive, beautiful, even celebratory picture of a person who had finally found herself. This was no small task. For Allen to ask crossdressers or trans people to step out so publicly was a matter of trust, which Allen was dedicated to gain.
In 1990, Allen published Transformations: Crossdressers and Those Who Love Them , a photography book documenting her decade of travels within this community and the people she met along the way. "It was the book that crossdressers, and other transgender people, had been looking for all their lives," Allen said. "The only representations of them were in porn shops, or medical papers, where they were presented as people with mental issues."
Dee and Donna, learning line dancing.
Chrysis, veteran, with partner's daughter.
This isn't exhibitionist photography. It's pure documentary and extraordinary in its ordinariness. Indeed, the warmth that emanates from Allen's photographs, particularly during the '80s and '90s, illustrates the mutual affection and respect the photographer and subject had for one another.
"I felt that I had found something valuable to do, as an artist and ally," she said. "I loved being part of a hidden world where I could bring in some sunlight."
Michelle and Betty Ann, Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Kiwi at a coffee shop, New York City.
The 1990s marked the beginning of a new era for gender variant people and Allen was there to document the growing political movement. Her next book, The Gender Frontier , published in 2003, captured this ripe moment in the history of LGBT rights — the evolution of political activism, the growing number of trans youth, as well as the protests and backlash. In 2005, The Gender Frontier won the Lambda Literary Award for best Transgender/GenderQueer book and Allen became unofficially known as the official photographer of the transgendered .
After The Gender Frontier , Allen decided it was time to look outside the U.S. "I was extremely fortunate to be able to travel to Cuba, and be welcomed by transgender women, most of whom are HIV positive street workers," she said. A photography book about that time, called TransCuba , followed in 2014.
And she continues to seek out marginalized trans communities around the world. Her next book on the subject, Transcendents: Spirit Mediums in Burma and Thailand , comes out this fall.
"Gender variant people question gender roles not merely with their minds but with their lives. They confront the issues that most of us keep hidden, but as time passes, their struggles will lead many of us to greater freedom in expressing ourselves," Allen said. "They are teachers and leaders, though unwittingly, of a revolution in the search for identity."
Alison at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
** Transcendents: Spirit Mediums in Burma and Thailand (Daylight Books) will be released in the fall of 2017. To see more of Mariette Pathy Allen's work or to purchase any of her books, visit her website .**
Michelle and Betty Ann, Provincetown, Massachusetts.
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This Stock Photo, whose title is "Young crossdressers posing in studio"[7511242], includes tags of transvestite, men, gay. The author of this item is Wisky (No.166483). Sizes from S to L are available and the price starts from US$5.00. You can download watermarked sample data (comp images), check the quality of images, and use Lightbox after signing up for free.
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