Teen Bj Stories

Teen Bj Stories

Being Naughty

Reasons Why I’m Giving My Husband a Blowjob

By Wannabee BLUNT

March 7, 2016

“Hey Mom, we are out of milk. Can you go grab some please?”
Uggggghhh. If the temperature outside is below my current age, I am definitely braless, in pajamas, with no intentions of venturing anywhere. I’m content in my blanket, curled up with my German Shepherd, completely engrossed in this Law & Order SVU marathon.
“MOOOOOOOMMMMM , we are starving here!”
Fuck. Where is your dad? Oh, he’s outside shoveling our driveway. I better text him then. I don’t want to risk keying any of our vehicles with my nipples.
Me – “Hey babe, we don’t have any milk.”
Reply – “So, can you go get it? I’m kind of busy here…”
Me- “I will give you a BJ.”
Yeah, I thought so. There was no reply needed. I hear him drive off, the tires squealing in delight.
It is safe to assume we all have done it at some point. We play the blow job card. And we play it sensibly. We pull it out (ahem, or should I say make him pull it out) for the most logical reasons. For when it benefits us. For these four reasons listed.
1. For Evasion.
I play the BJ card for when I want to get out of something. Usually that something involves chores, (a.k.a ‘chore play’), having to get dressed to run errands in inclement weather, or paying my Target charge. Yes, gasp, I’ve even traded my BJ card for money. Like even for a few measly dollars, just so I could get money to have a few extra glasses of wine with my girlfriends that evening. Because guaranteed they were doing the exact same shit. (We are all deemed the Momstitutes.)
2. For Avoidance.
I’ve utilized my BJ card to evade people. I’ve gotten out of attending a few in-law birthday parties, some chauffeuring gigs involving a bunch of giddy teenage girls, and those dreaded conversations with customer service cable representatives.
3. As a Diversion.
I apply the BJ card as a distraction technique, usually when the culprits involve my children and I ultimately have to save their precious little asses over nonsense. Like, when my youngest spills nail polish on her bedroom carpet, or my oldest doesn’t clean out the litter box after 27 reminders. (I must admit, however, this backfired on me once. It was the afternoon I took my husband’s new truck out and it accidentally grazed another vehicle. By the end of that diversion, I was googling how to relieve symptoms of TMJ. Luckily for both of us, the only permanent damage was on his truck’s front bumper.)
4. As a Substitution.
The BJ card is also nice to fall back on in place of just sex. Like when I washed the sheets that morning, or actually took time to straighten and style my hair, or I have to be somewhere in 8 minutes and I don’t have time to deal with that after sex semen spunk dripping down my leg.
In hindsight, this might sound a bit crazy to some. This whole, succumbing to blow job bribery to relieve some of your work load by taking on his load, just so the kids have milk in their Lucky Charms.
Especially since we already know what’s expected in return if WE are the ones going to the store.
About the author: Chalise Kestner is a middle aged unconventional parent who drinks and spews profanity excessively, yet manages to keep it all in balance eloquently . She just started her new blog Eloquent Parent on Facebook, and hope for grander things to come, so she can finally put those Honors English classes from two decades ago to good use, instead of repeatedly enunciating lunch specials at her current place of employment.
Eloquent Parent is on Facebook
Instagram @chalisemk
twitter @chalisemk
Wannabe's are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They "may" share their names with you, or they might write as "anonymous" but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.
I would do absolutely anything for my wife knowing repayment was oral sex. I really don’t know why the doesn’t use it.
You forgot to mention two other reasons for giving head: 1] being totally turned on (by him, the thrill of it, etc.), and 2] ’cause you are in love.
They didn’t forget. Its a pathetic chick that has to bribe her man that hates giving Head. This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, sex only one way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with one. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.
You still give BJs after the 1 year mark?
This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Magnolia Ripkin – Lots of entertaining advice, whether you solicit it or not.
Nomad Mom Diary – Lynn’s carrying around a lot of “baggage.”
3 Chickens and a Boat – The home of the great chicken lady and blog guru.
Sparkly Shoes and Sweat Drops – Alison is raising questions, kids and eyebrows.
© 2019 Bluntmoms (so don't steal our shit!)

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

Being Naughty

Reasons Why I’m Giving My Husband a Blowjob

By Wannabee BLUNT

March 7, 2016

“Hey Mom, we are out of milk. Can you go grab some please?”
Uggggghhh. If the temperature outside is below my current age, I am definitely braless, in pajamas, with no intentions of venturing anywhere. I’m content in my blanket, curled up with my German Shepherd, completely engrossed in this Law & Order SVU marathon.
“MOOOOOOOMMMMM , we are starving here!”
Fuck. Where is your dad? Oh, he’s outside shoveling our driveway. I better text him then. I don’t want to risk keying any of our vehicles with my nipples.
Me – “Hey babe, we don’t have any milk.”
Reply – “So, can you go get it? I’m kind of busy here…”
Me- “I will give you a BJ.”
Yeah, I thought so. There was no reply needed. I hear him drive off, the tires squealing in delight.
It is safe to assume we all have done it at some point. We play the blow job card. And we play it sensibly. We pull it out (ahem, or should I say make him pull it out) for the most logical reasons. For when it benefits us. For these four reasons listed.
1. For Evasion.
I play the BJ card for when I want to get out of something. Usually that something involves chores, (a.k.a ‘chore play’), having to get dressed to run errands in inclement weather, or paying my Target charge. Yes, gasp, I’ve even traded my BJ card for money. Like even for a few measly dollars, just so I could get money to have a few extra glasses of wine with my girlfriends that evening. Because guaranteed they were doing the exact same shit. (We are all deemed the Momstitutes.)
2. For Avoidance.
I’ve utilized my BJ card to evade people. I’ve gotten out of attending a few in-law birthday parties, some chauffeuring gigs involving a bunch of giddy teenage girls, and those dreaded conversations with customer service cable representatives.
3. As a Diversion.
I apply the BJ card as a distraction technique, usually when the culprits involve my children and I ultimately have to save their precious little asses over nonsense. Like, when my youngest spills nail polish on her bedroom carpet, or my oldest doesn’t clean out the litter box after 27 reminders. (I must admit, however, this backfired on me once. It was the afternoon I took my husband’s new truck out and it accidentally grazed another vehicle. By the end of that diversion, I was googling how to relieve symptoms of TMJ. Luckily for both of us, the only permanent damage was on his truck’s front bumper.)
4. As a Substitution.
The BJ card is also nice to fall back on in place of just sex. Like when I washed the sheets that morning, or actually took time to straighten and style my hair, or I have to be somewhere in 8 minutes and I don’t have time to deal with that after sex semen spunk dripping down my leg.
In hindsight, this might sound a bit crazy to some. This whole, succumbing to blow job bribery to relieve some of your work load by taking on his load, just so the kids have milk in their Lucky Charms.
Especially since we already know what’s expected in return if WE are the ones going to the store.
About the author: Chalise Kestner is a middle aged unconventional parent who drinks and spews profanity excessively, yet manages to keep it all in balance eloquently . She just started her new blog Eloquent Parent on Facebook, and hope for grander things to come, so she can finally put those Honors English classes from two decades ago to good use, instead of repeatedly enunciating lunch specials at her current place of employment.
Eloquent Parent is on Facebook
Instagram @chalisemk
twitter @chalisemk
Wannabe's are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They "may" share their names with you, or they might write as "anonymous" but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.
I would do absolutely anything for my wife knowing repayment was oral sex. I really don’t know why the doesn’t use it.
You forgot to mention two other reasons for giving head: 1] being totally turned on (by him, the thrill of it, etc.), and 2] ’cause you are in love.
They didn’t forget. Its a pathetic chick that has to bribe her man that hates giving Head. This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, sex only one way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with one. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.
You still give BJs after the 1 year mark?
This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Magnolia Ripkin – Lots of entertaining advice, whether you solicit it or not.
Nomad Mom Diary – Lynn’s carrying around a lot of “baggage.”
3 Chickens and a Boat – The home of the great chicken lady and blog guru.
Sparkly Shoes and Sweat Drops – Alison is raising questions, kids and eyebrows.
© 2019 Bluntmoms (so don't steal our shit!)

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

Being Naughty

Reasons Why I’m Giving My Husband a Blowjob

By Wannabee BLUNT

March 7, 2016

“Hey Mom, we are out of milk. Can you go grab some please?”
Uggggghhh. If the temperature outside is below my current age, I am definitely braless, in pajamas, with no intentions of venturing anywhere. I’m content in my blanket, curled up with my German Shepherd, completely engrossed in this Law & Order SVU marathon.
“MOOOOOOOMMMMM , we are starving here!”
Fuck. Where is your dad? Oh, he’s outside shoveling our driveway. I better text him then. I don’t want to risk keying any of our vehicles with my nipples.
Me – “Hey babe, we don’t have any milk.”
Reply – “So, can you go get it? I’m kind of busy here…”
Me- “I will give you a BJ.”
Yeah, I thought so. There was no reply needed. I hear him drive off, the tires squealing in delight.
It is safe to assume we all have done it at some point. We play the blow job card. And we play it sensibly. We pull it out (ahem, or should I say make him pull it out) for the most logical reasons. For when it benefits us. For these four reasons listed.
1. For Evasion.
I play the BJ card for when I want to get out of something. Usually that something involves chores, (a.k.a ‘chore play’), having to get dressed to run errands in inclement weather, or paying my Target charge. Yes, gasp, I’ve even traded my BJ card for money. Like even for a few measly dollars, just so I could get money to have a few extra glasses of wine with my girlfriends that evening. Because guaranteed they were doing the exact same shit. (We are all deemed the Momstitutes.)
2. For Avoidance.
I’ve utilized my BJ card to evade people. I’ve gotten out of attending a few in-law birthday parties, some chauffeuring gigs involving a bunch of giddy teenage girls, and those dreaded conversations with customer service cable representatives.
3. As a Diversion.
I apply the BJ card as a distraction technique, usually when the culprits involve my children and I ultimately have to save their precious little asses over nonsense. Like, when my youngest spills nail polish on her bedroom carpet, or my oldest doesn’t clean out the litter box after 27 reminders. (I must admit, however, this backfired on me once. It was the afternoon I took my husband’s new truck out and it accidentally grazed another vehicle. By the end of that diversion, I was googling how to relieve symptoms of TMJ. Luckily for both of us, the only permanent damage was on his truck’s front bumper.)
4. As a Substitution.
The BJ card is also nice to fall back on in place of just sex. Like when I washed the sheets that morning, or actually took time to straighten and style my hair, or I have to be somewhere in 8 minutes and I don’t have time to deal with that after sex semen spunk dripping down my leg.
In hindsight, this might sound a bit crazy to some. This whole, succumbing to blow job bribery to relieve some of your work load by taking on his load, just so the kids have milk in their Lucky Charms.
Especially since we already know what’s expected in return if WE are the ones going to the store.
About the author: Chalise Kestner is a middle aged unconventional parent who drinks and spews profanity excessively, yet manages to keep it all in balance eloquently . She just started her new blog Eloquent Parent on Facebook, and hope for grander things to come, so she can finally put those Honors English classes from two decades ago to good use, instead of repeatedly enunciating lunch specials at her current place of employment.
Eloquent Parent is on Facebook
Instagram @chalisemk
twitter @chalisemk
Wannabe's are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They "may" share their names with you, or they might write as "anonymous" but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.
I would do absolutely anything for my wife knowing repayment was oral sex. I really don’t know why the doesn’t use it.
You forgot to mention two other reasons for giving head: 1] being totally turned on (by him, the thrill of it, etc.), and 2] ’cause you are in love.
They didn’t forget. Its a pathetic chick that has to bribe her man that hates giving Head. This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, sex only one way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with one. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.
You still give BJs after the 1 year mark?
This article sucks. It’s written by a feminist. A woman that only plays by her terms and judges the shit out of a man when it comes to hooking up. I’ve dated one. You can only hook up a certain way, only so many times, etc. a feminist! Can’t live without a man but barely can live with. My wife gives me head 2-3 times a month. That’s almost once a week. I will go down on her any chance I get and she has an orgasm 100% of the time. I feel sorry for suckers out there like many friends I have that settled for less. If I could tell the chick that wrote this anything, it would be fuck you and fuck the “BJ card”.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Magnolia Ripkin – Lots of entertaining advice, whether you solicit it or not.
Nomad Mom Diary – Lynn’s carrying around a lot of “baggage.”
3 Chickens and a Boat – The home of the great chicken lady and blog guru.
Sparkly Shoes and Sweat Drops – Alison is raising questions, kids and eyebrows.
© 2019 Bluntmoms (so don't steal our shit!)

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

Report: Rick’s NYC Dancers Prefer Yankees Over Mets Because Bombers Are Winners!
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2 Megan Thee Stallion Rips Tory Lanez on New Album
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4 NBA Star Miles Bridges Arrested For Felony Domestic Violence
BC broke the news earlier today that Indianapolis cheerleader coach Megan Crafton was involved in some serious sh*t. By serious sh*t we mean a 17 year old boys private parts. She admitted to giving the student a BJ in a parking lot and is now facing legal action. Knowing the repercussion the online community was about to send her way, Crafton acted swiftly and deleted her Twitter. Turns out she wasn’t quick enough as BC has secured some scandalous twitpics!
A BC tipster gave us the heads up and we jumped on the chance to scope out some dirt on this broad. We found 20 twitpics that reveal a few things.
He has your whole heart Megan, but apparently he doesn’t have your whole mouth. Read our full report on the incident here and stay tuned to BC for any updates to this developing story.
Have more pics of Megan we need to see? Someone also needs to bust throug
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