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A lady shitting on road side shamefull video
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Pooping During Childbirth: You’ll Survive It, Really
November 19, 2014 Updated March 30, 2021
I’m scared of zombies. I’m scared of cockroaches. I’m scared of opening cans of biscuits. (Seriously, if that sudden pop! doesn’t startle you, you’ve got nerves of steel.) But those are all things I can usually avoid.
However, there was once a fear – worse than a zombified roach catapulting from a biscuit-y cannon – that I was forced to stare straight in the eye.
Because when I was pregnant with my first son, I was frightened, petrified, of one thing: pooping during childbirth.
Sure, I was worried about what birth would do to my lady parts. Isn’t everybody, especially when you’ve never done it before? You just have to imagine the logistics. And to me, it looked a lot like shoving an overstuffed pillow through the neck hole of a sweater.
But oh, the blissful days when the vag was my only concern! Because after it occurred to me that holy mother of mortifying moments I may actually shit on the birthing table, I lost a lot of sleep. I had read a line in one of my pregnancy books that said, “Your doctor may ask you to push as though you’re having a bowel movement.” And so I thought, “So what stops you from actually having a bowel movement?”
And then, with a chill, I realized that nothing stops you. Whatever’s in there – baby, placenta, last night’s turkey sandwich-turned-turd – it’s all coming out. Until that moment, the possibility had never occurred to me, but suddenly it was all I could think about. It was like one of those dreams where you show up somewhere naked … except then you take it to the next level of mortification and crap yourself.
I called my mom in a panic. “What if I shit on the birthing table?” I wailed.
“Well, I mean … it happens,” she said. “Sometimes it’s unavoidable. But I promise it’s no big deal.”
No big deal? NO BIG DEAL? Bare-butt pooping in full view of a roomful of virtual strangers – not to mention my husband, who I hoped would someday want to have sex with me again? That, my friends, is a very big deal. I fully trusted the hospital staff to save my life, and my child’s, if things went awry during delivery. But when it came to watching me poop, I couldn’t possibly imagine them taking it lightly. I mean, I heard someone fart in my Zumba class once and nearly had to leave the room because I couldn’t stifle the laughter, and I consider myself (mostly) mature.
I created an entire horrific scenario in my head and replayed it over and over: I’d be lying there with my knees to my chest, my goods on full, glorious display under a glaring spotlight, with a plethora of medical personnel standing around (including a student doctor who looked just like the timelessly hot Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles). And suddenly … *cue rumbling fart noise* … shit would happen. Everyone would immediately begin to look shocked and horrified. They’d gag and plug their noses and exchange disgusted looks. There’d be a poorly-suppressed snicker here and there.
My logical mind, of course, poo-poohed this theory (get it? Poo-poohed?). “They’re professionals,” I told myself coolly. “I’m sure it happens all the time.” Despite my forced confidence, though, I couldn’t quash the nervousness. The medical staff may well have been pros, but that didn’t mean I was eager to take a helpless, wipe-less dump in front of them.
But here’s something about giving birth, especially for the first time: you’re so busy, so distracted, so caught up, that even a paralyzing fear such as public defecation takes a backseat to the task at hand. When it was time to push, the only thing on my mind was meeting the baby I’d been nurturing for nine months and dreaming about for years.
“Give it a go,” the nurse told me. “Push through your bottom.” My epidural had rendered me sloppy drunk from the waist down, so I wasn’t feeling a thing – but I dutifully followed her directions. That’s when I noticed her wiping efficiently downward, then discreetly folding and disposing of, one of the big absorbent pads underneath me. And the realization dawned on me: oh my Lord, I must have pooped.
My nightmare had come true … but only part of it. Because there was no laughter. There were no expressions of revulsion. (And no Jake Ryan lookalikes.) Nobody even thought twice about it. In fact, I wasn’t completely sure I had pooped until my husband graciously confirmed it.
(By the way, we had three more children after that, so he apparently wasn’t all that grossed out either.)
So take heart, would-be pregnancy poopers. It isn’t actually as bad as you envision it’s going to be. Believe it or not, it isn’t a big deal! Would you prefer not to deliver a log along with your baby? Of course. But does it matter if you do? Absolutely not. They really are used to it. If they do find it hilarious or revolting, they’re complete pros at the whole “poker face” thing, because nobody bats an eye. Or wrinkles a nose.
And anyway, girl, you’re having a baby; enjoy everything you can about the experience. Poop is the last thing you should have to worry about.
… At least until it comes to your first postpartum dump.
But that’s a story for another time.
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We’ve Found The Perfect Bundle Of Baby Essentials To Gift Any Expecting Parent
Every parent knows that in the early days, just about all babies do is eat and sleep. Okay, there’s also a fair amount of crying, pooping, and spit-up, but we’re trying to focus on the cute stuff here, okay? And while it’s the sweetest thing on the planet to watch your baby’s little mouth move as they hungrily gulp down their dinner (and the tiny infant grunting sounds — we can’t even), it’s still incredible how exhausting it can be to keep a baby happily fed. We worry about getting the flow just right, causing nipple confusion, and reducing air bubbles that can cause tummy troubles. Many new parents go through several bottles before finally finding one that’s just right.
So when you find something that makes feeding time easier, you grab onto it like it’s a life raft and share it with every single one of your new-mom friends. Nanobébé’s Complete Feeding Set really is like a life raft for new parents. It has everything you need to feed your baby, whether you’re bottle-feeding with formula or breast milk. It’s the only set we’ve found that has two different award-winning bottles to fit any feed, literally covering you from the newborn phase all the way to toddlerhood. But more than that, Nanobébé’s bottles, nipples, and pacifiers are the perfect blend of style and convenience. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for expecting parents (or yourself), read on.
Because the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set has two different types of bottles, you can choose what works best for your baby in the moment. The Breastmilk bottles look different from a traditional baby bottle — they’re shaped like a breast, making the transition between breast and bottle more instinctual for babies and reducing nipple confusion. Babies love reaching up their tiny dimpled hands to grip the sides of this bottle during a feeding so that you can add more adorable baby pics to the 5,000 you already have on your phone. 
These breast-like bottles are perfect for moms who want to breastfeed but also want to share feeding duty with a partner. It’s only fair for Mom to get to roll over and go back to sleep for some of those nighttime feedings, right? The unique shape, combined with the matching geometry of the included warmer, makes for quick and even warming so you can get baby fed and back to sleep in less time, and they’re the first bottle designed to protect breast milk nutrients. Why didn’t anyone think of this before? 
The Flexy Silicone bottles that come with the set are equally awesome. Don’t let their mesmerizing squishiness fool you — they may be soft and flexy, but they’re also sturdy and built to last. 
Another part that stands out are the nipples. (Sometimes the jokes write themselves!) The set comes with four slow flow silicone nipples that fit both the Breastmilk and Flexy Silicone bottles. The nipples have a special triple-vented system that reduces fussiness, gas, and tears. Plus, using one of the two breast pump adapters that come with the set, Mom can easily express milk directly into either style of bottle. That means pump, store, warm and feed, all in the same bottle. 10/10, would recommend.
We love a paci that can soothe our baby without causing nipple confusion. The Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set comes with two super soft Flexy pacifiers designed to do exactly that. with one-piece silicone construction that adheres to American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines, there’s no hard plastic, and they won’t leave red marks. We’ve met more than one mom who says these are the only pacifiers their baby will take. And, as many of us learned the hard way, it always pays to have more than one. Some long, sleepless night that would have otherwise been spent pawing around under your baby’s crib in the dark while your baby cries, that spare paci really will feel like a life saver.
Listen, in those early days with a new baby when you’ve lost the concept of time and haven’t washed your hair in a week, thoughtful design makes a real difference. The folks at Nanobébé clearly know that, because this feeding system works seamlessly, even when you’re running on four hours of broken sleep and watching the battery indicator on your brain slip into low-power mode. The bottles, nipples, pacifiers, warmer, and brush — they all work together to make feedings the easiest part of those early, sleep-deprived days.
The warming bowl requires no electricity — all you need is warm water and you’re set. That means it’s perfect for feedings at home or when you’re on the go. You’ll never worry about the bottle getting too hot. Ease of cleanup is also on point. The bottles are designed for super easy cleaning — the set even comes with its own bottle brush — so you don’t have to obsess over tiny nooks and crannies. The Breastmilk bottle’s design makes them easy to stack and store. (If you’ve ever wrestled a pile of baby bottles while holding a crying baby, you know what a game changer this is!)
All the elements of this innovative, thoughtfully designed gift set add up to one thing: letting parents focus on the best parts of parenting. Whenever you can give new parents one less hassle to worry about, what you’re really giving them is the gift of more time with their new baby. Whether they’re bottle feeding with breastmilk or formula, the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set simplifies the logistics of feeding time so new parents can focus on the fun part — the awesome connection that happens when feeding their sweet newborn. 
With unmatched convenience and modern style, the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set provides new parents with everything needed for successful feeds from the newborn stage through early toddlerhood.
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