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The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power

House of the Dragon

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

Southern Charm

The View

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'The Office' Stars Share Long-Lost Recording of Ed Helms Belting Celine Dion

Stephen Sondheim Green-Lit and "Loved" 'The Office's 'Sweeney Todd' Episode

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Photo: Universal Pictures ; Illustration: Dillen Phelps

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I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
Aug 11, 2014, 12:59 AM EDT | Updated Oct 10, 2014
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin. I open one side and remove the bill just enough to see Fairfax Cryobank across the top, and then hand it back to him. "I think this is for you."
My mom and I visited Fairfax Cryobank for the first time on September 25, 2000. The doctor explained my risk of sterility and the sperm banking process, and then asked my mom for written permission for me to use pornography.
The previous night my dad had asked if I "know how to get it out" or if I "need help." I kept my eyes fixed on the same textbook sentence I had already read 30 times without realizing and said, "I know how; no thanks, Dad," thrilled that the dull lamp in my bedroom hid my features, hot and red as a mature habanero. At 16, I could only laugh with friends at my dad's inquiry, unable to understand his courage.
I did need help from the magazines, however. With my mom one room over, chemotherapy to treat my aggressive bone cancer beginning three days later, and the sterile cup and alcohol swab on the counter next to me, I wondered if anything other than live action would do the job.
I returned to the cryobank once more before starting chemo, this time less nervous and with both parents present in the waiting room. "Are you done already?" my dad asked after I emerged from the room with the brown couch that so many with cancer before me had been forced to execute on.
My friends enjoyed this question even more than my dad's others.
Year after year my dad handed me the envelope and then I handed it right back to him. And year after year a statement that I had read in the resource spermbankdirectory.com rang louder: "The efficacy of the freezing is questionable when [sperm] has been frozen for more than 12 years." If that is true then my biological clock would stop ticking before my 29th birthday. That was almost two years ago.
In vitro fertilization is wildly expensive and has low success rates, and even though my semen samples were high in both volume and sperm concentration -- what I call Supersperm -- I could only bank twice. So four years ago, with no baby-rearing prospective partners or desire to be a father, I told my parents not to pay the $395 annual fee to keep my sperm frozen. "If I decide to have kids then adoption will be more feasible." Both of my parents denied my request even faster than my dad takes back the Fairfax Cryobank envelope.
I contacted Fairfax Cryobank about banked sperm having a 12-year life. "We just looked at a different sample that was provided around the same time yours was, and we saw no change in it," a researcher emailed me.
A 2009 study found that younger men produce smarter children. Regardless of my age, if I have children then they'll have been fathered by a 16-year-old. For women who balk at in vitro fertilization, consider my frozen sperm's youth a natural boost to your potential child's standardized test scores, saving you from paying for prep classes and increasing your child's chance at being admitted into schools like University of Virginia, my alma mater. That is one envelope grandpa would love to see.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com

It’s Called the Music and Arts Festival for a Reason

Dylan Efron Takes Us On An Adventure

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If you find a ruler in a man’s bedroom, chances are he’s measuring one thing in particular… But what if he’s measuring something other than how big he is down there?
Although it’s a more unspoken truth, the fact is lots of men dwell on the power of their ejaculation and how far they cum. Most men want to ejaculate like a porn star. But sadly, we’re too often left with a disappointing dribble.
It’s more than just wanting to emulate your favorite porn scenes. Women talk and you’ll get an enviable reputation amongst your partner’s friends; it’ll give your confidence and self-esteem a boost and make your orgasm feel so much more intense.
But you don’t need to bring a ruler into the bedroom and measure out your cumshot. Instead, by using these 11 techniques you’ll soon notice the difference – and you’ll never look back.
Ultraload is a premium semen volume enhancer designed to help you ejaculate with more power and shoot cum further.
All orders come with FREE USA shipping and a 100-day money back guarantee.
Although there are 11 techniques to maximize your cumshot’s power, they can really be split into 3 categories: how to increase semen volume, how to build up the amount of cum before the orgasm, and techniques on how to actually ejaculate with more force and power.
Just 1 technique will make a difference, but imagine if you use all 11…
If you’ve heard of Kegel exercises, then you probably assume they’re just for women as a way to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. But men can actually benefit from Kegel exercises too – only we benefit in a slightly different way.
For men, Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which helps to support the bladder, bowel and even sexual function. Kegels involve working out the PC muscles – the ones you squeeze when you have to stop pee midstream.
Have a go at pretending to stop midstream and pay close attention to the muscles you’re squeezing… and that’s all there is to it. A Kegel exercise is simply finding PC muscles, squeezing them to work them out and relaxing again. Try holding the contraction for 3-4 seconds and aim for around three sets of ten.
What’s better is that you can exercise your PC Muscles whenever you want. At work, in bed, in the movie theater, dinner with the in-laws… whenever you have a moment to spare.
After just a few weeks of regular Kegels, your PC muscles will be so strong that you can stop yourself ejaculating at will and have enough strength to ejaculate more semen with more distance and force.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” – or goes the saying. It’s important to stay healthy, but while fruit and vegetables keep our body healthy, it doesn’t necessarily keep our sexual health in tip-top condition.
Fortunately, there are sexual health supplements available for you that work wonders. Each brand has its own unique blend of highly potent, natural ingredients that come with a range of benefits: increased libido, bigger and harder erections, increased semen volume and more powerful orgasms.
Ingredients like Maca, Lecithin, KSM-66 and Zinc have all been shown to drastically improve your sexual health and function. Zinc is also an excellent supplement for increasing sperm count and fertility. A healthy dose of sexual health supplements not only makes sex better, but you’ll end up shooting bigger loads further.
A range of supplements are available, but Ultraload is a suggestion that comes highly recommended for bigger loads and intense orgasms.
Dehydration has a variety of effects on your body, and one is a disappointingly small dribble of cum instead of the power hose you really want for an orgasm.
In a 2013 study looking at the hyperviscosity of semen (how thick it is), they found that as many as 29% of men had particularly thick semen, a factor that can lead to infertility. And what can help this? Water.
We tend not to drink enough water these days, but we really should as being well-hydrated comes with a range of benefits: It boosts your mood as well as mental and physical performance. It’ll also help the thickness of your semen.
Semen is mainly made up of water – it’s not supposed to be too thick. And the better hydrated you are, the better the semen’s quality and viscosity. That means it will be less thick and will shoot out further when you ejaculate.
One of the great things about being a guy is we don’t have a time limit for fertility. We’ll just keep on producing that sticky white stuff day in, day out without fear of running out. But just because you won’t run out doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a break from time to time.
Abstinence, or abstaining from ejaculating, isn’t fun – especially when you’re really in the mood. But since you keep producing semen every day, holding it in means it’ll shoot out faster and more powerfully when you finally let it out.
Think of it like a water balloon – with just a small amount of water in there, nothing’s really going to fire out. But when it’s bursting to the seams with water, it’ll explode when it can, gushing water everywhere.
If you want to gush hard just like a water balloon, hold it in.
Are you a regular runner or a constant couch potato? While it doesn’t make all the difference in the world, it can affect the amount you blow at the crucial moment in bed.
You might think it’s not that important, but since sports are extremely popular nowadays, aren’t you a little concerned if and how sports affect your sperm count, semen and fertility?
According to a study , there are changes in semen parameters depending on the type of sport, intensity and duration.
Sperm and semen production is often affected by heat stress; your testicles work best when they’re about 2°C lower than your core body temperature.
But this temperature changes depending on your lifestyle – it gets higher with obesity, exposure to heat, laptop use and too much of certain exercise. Elevated scrotal temperatures have been detected in cyclists, for example; and this is made even worse when wearing tight clothing like lycra.
However, working out and training has also been shown to increase semen volume. Lounging on the couch and doing nothing reduces your sperm and semen concentration, but sperm concentration is about 43% higher in men who engage in moderate exercise.
So, don’t work out so much that your balls are burning to the touch. But work
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