Teen 16

Teen 16
From life guidance to sex advice, this is what "Teen Vogue" editors wish we knew at 16.
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Teen Vogue is celebrating its Sweet 16 this year! In honor of this exciting milestone, we’re publishing a series of stories about the ups and downs of turning 16. Read the entire special issue .
They say that with age comes wisdom. The older you get, the more life experience you have, so it makes sense that you get savvier and smarter with age. By the time you turn sweet 16, a culturally iconic age , there are a few key pieces of knowledge you should have under your belt.
Of course, 16 is still pretty young in the grand scheme of things, so Teen Vogue editors are sharing what we wish we'd known at that age, including serious life guidance and sex advice, here's what we at Teen Vogue wish we had known.
Doing what others want you to isn't as important as doing what's best for you. Whether it's not joining a club your parents want you to, or not going along with some suspicious plans your friends have, it's OK to take steps that are good for your life. But be warned: Not pleasing others could mean you let people down sometimes, but that's totally OK.
With so much pressure to be the best, and with such focus on extracurriculars that will help you get into college , it can feel like you have to be a master at every single thing. The reality is that no one is great at everything they try. Trying new things is great, and having a lot of hobbies can be fun, but you should understand that sometimes you might not be the best — and you don't need to be. Being really good at one thing is just as valuable as being OK at a lot of things.
We all know those people who seem to have perfect lives, or perfect grades, or a perfect plan for the future. But the truth is, nobody really knows what they're doing and whether it's the right thing because there is no one right way to be. As you get older, it will become more obvious that everyone is just kind of winging it — in school and careers. As long as you're trying your best, you're doing OK. Things are never quite as perfect they seem.
Your friend group doesn't have to dress the same, listen to the same music, and have the same hobbies. In fact, your life will be more interesting if you have friends with varied interests. So don't feel pressure to collect a group of people who are the same as you, and don't feel like you don't fit in because you like different things than your pals do. The beauty of having friends is embracing and learning from differences.
In other words, how you feel right now won't last forever. Bad, painful, and embarrassing moments will pass, so give yourself space to process those feelings and trust that whatever they are will feel different with the benefit of time and clarity. This doesn't cheapen your feelings or make them any less important — it's just to say that eventually things will get better, so you have something brighter to look forward to.
Some people are, and you might be — which is great! But if you're not, it can seem like everyone except you is having sex. Trust us when we say this is not the case. Research has shown that we think people are having more sex than they actually are. Everyone should have sex in their own time, and shouldn't feel pressured or rushed just because other people may or may not be doing it.
And you should be, too! Masturbation is completely normal and healthy. For some, there can be a lot of stigma around masturbation, but rest assured that you're doing nothing wrong when you masturbate. In fact, you're doing something right. Touching yourself helps you learn what feels good for you, which can lead to better, healthier sex with a partner in the future. It's also a form of totally safe sex, so have a blast!
It can take years and years to really come into your identity , and that identity can shift and change over time. Whether it's your interests, sexuality, gender identity, or style, don't feel rushed in figuring yourself out. Who you are is up to you and no one else, so don't feel like you need to listen to others' interpretations of you.
Your real friends will appreciate you and everything you bring to the table. If a group of so-called pals is making you feel like you're not good enough or like you need to change to fit in, your energy is probably better spent connecting with other people . This will save you a lot of time, and likely a lot of tears. If you need advice on how to part with a group or person who is not serving you, head over here .
And you don't need to date anyone. There can be a lot of pressure to be in a romantic relationship in high school, but the truth is that your bond with your friends is much more important, and will serve you for way longer than a few dates with your crush. If you do connect with a romantic partner, that's great. But don't feel pressure to forge bonds that aren't healthy or don't serve you just to be in a relationship, or find a prom date. Instead, spend time figuring out what makes you feel good and having fun with your friends.
If you do decide to date, you don't need to conform to heteronormative standards to do it. More and more young people are identifying as queer , so if you do too, you're in good company. Unfortunately, identifying as LGBTQ or dating in queer relationships still isn't accepted across the board, and you know what's safest and best for you in your situation. Ultimately, though, you don't need to make yourself into anyone you aren't — and that includes your sexuality.
Drinking won't help you answer the questions you have about the world, and it won't make you forget about your fears, anxieties, or issues. Instead, it can exacerbate your problems and even create more of them. We definitely don't condone underage drinking, but we understand that it happens. So if you're going to drink alcohol, be sure to do it safely , and know that it's not going to magically make your life better or more fun.
We encourage it! Physical, emotional, and mental boundaries are so important, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about having them. Standing firm in your boundaries can be affirming, and make you feel really powerful.
Sometimes your friends think something is cool or want you to do something you're not comfortable with. This is where those boundaries come in, but also when you should check in with yourself to see what your gut is telling you. If you feel uncomfortable or at risk, don't do it! It's OK to make these decisions for yourself.
There's a saying that your high school days are the best years of your life, but, honestly, that's pretty dark. You have so much living to do after high school! This saying just puts undue pressure on young people to get their teen years right , but what does that even mean? It also can feel particularly daunting if things aren't so great for you right now. But don't worry — you have your whole life to figure out what you like and what makes you happy, and you'll have great years when you're a teen and well after that, too. If things are bad now, they will get better, and you will have better years ahead.
At 16, there's a lot of pressure. From friends to dating to college to family stuff, it can be overwhelmingly hard. We get it — really, we do. But looking back at our own 16-year-old selves, we wish we had known that we didn't have to carry so much weight. That's kind of the culmination of the previous 15 points we've made — at 16, you're still figuring things out, and that's OK. It's OK if you don't know what career you want, what your sexuality is, what your gender is, where you want to live, and what kind of friends you want to have. It's OK if you don't know who you are. It's OK if you fail a test. It's OK if your sweet 16 isn't that sweet. As long as you're trying to be the best version of yourself, you can spend your whole life figuring out what that means. The goal is really to have fun, form bonds, and live a good life along the way. You won't have all the answers at 16, 20, 30, or at any age — the sooner we all learn that, the better things will be.
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Teen Parenting Tips (13-, 14-, 15-, 16-, 17-, and 18-Year-Olds)

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Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection, Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy, Marie Claire, and TimeOut NY.
Laura Anderson Kirby, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist at a private practice in Chapel Hill, N.C., with years of experience providing evaluations and therapy for children and adolescents. She has broad training in child clinical psychology.

The teen years are a time to ensure your child is going to be ready for life after high school . Your teen can be quite independent in many ways. But, it’s also a time when you’ll notice areas that need some improvement and maturity before adulthood. Plus, your teen may seem on top of everything one minute and then struggle the next—this is also common during these sometimes volatile years of rapid growth and development. 1

When you notice your teen is having challenges or lack of understanding in certain areas, take those opportunities to teach them new life skills . Also, give them plenty of chances to practice being responsible and independent . Focusing on healthy, productive habits now can equip your teen to care for themself in the future.

Even though there will be times when your teen insists they know everything or that they have all the skills they need to function in the adult world, there’s a good chance their skills could use some fine-tuning.

Of course, the teen years come with many new opportunities too. Getting a driver's license and getting a part-time job are just a few of the milestones that will give your teen opportunities to practice being responsible.

In the meantime, it’s important to teach your teen how to take care of themself and how to perform everyday tasks and activities that will prepare them for the future.

A well-rounded diet based on the USDA guidelines should help your teen get all the essential vitamins and minerals they need. Many adolescents fall short of the daily recommended quotas of calcium , iron, zinc , and vitamin D . 2

Unless blood tests and a pediatrician's evaluation reveal a specific deficiency, it's recommended to obtain nutrients from food rather than dietary supplements . 3

According to the 2020 to 2025 United States Department of Health and Human Services dietary guidelines, teens should aim for a caloric intake that falls within a range appropriate for their age, size, and activity level. Thirteen-year-old boys need between 1,600 to 2,600 calories daily. Male teens between the ages of 14 and 18 require 2,000 to 3,200 calories daily. 2

Girls age 13 should aim for between 1,400 and 2,000 calories daily. Female teens aged 14 to 18 require 1,800 to 2,400 calories per day. Teens who are active more than 60 minutes per day may need more calories, while teens who are smaller and/or more sedentary will need fewer calories to maintain a healthy body mass index. 2

Teens make many of their own food choices, which may mean they’re likely to grab fast food with their friends. It’s important to educate your teen about making nutrient-rich food choices and to keep the focus on health, instead of weight. Discuss the importance of fueling their body and brain. Stock the kitchen with healthy fruits and vegetables, and reserve sugary, high-fat items for an occasional treat.

"With increased focus on body image and appearance, teens may also develop patterns of eating or restricted eating related to body image concerns," explains Katharine Reynolds , a professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado.

Be on the lookout for dieting and body image issues , especially in girls. Some teens are trying to lose weight and may significantly alter their eating habits in ways that are not healthy. Eating disorders often emerge during the teenage years. 4

It’s recommended that teens get at least 60 minutes of physical activity most days. Aerobic exercise should be the main form of activity. 5 The American Academy of Pediatrics also encourages muscle and bone-strengthening activities, like jumping, three times per week. 6

If your teen isn’t interested in joining a sports team, don’t force it. Help them find something they really want to do. Even if your teen isn't into sports, there are many activities that can get them moving. Going for a daily walk or a bike ride, kayaking, yoga, martial arts, or swimming could be activities they enjoy. You can also make physical activity a family activity by taking an evening walk after dinner or going hiking on the weekends. 6

Other ways to encourage physical activity are to limit your teen's screen time and encourage them to spend time outside. Talk about the importance of keeping their body healthy and make it a priority to be a good role model. 6

The teen years are a critical time for young people to practice making decisions on their own and to be given more responsibility, says Dr. Reynolds. The more responsibility they can take on now, the less they'll struggle during their transition to adulthood.

Responsibilities that are learned as teenagers include how to: 1

Make sure your teen knows how to do important household tasks, like laundry and cooking basic meals. You may want to rotate chores sometimes to ensure that they have an opportunity to practice doing the household activities you do to maintain the home. 7 These skills become very important as older teens will soon get more focused on other forms of independence such as getting a job or eventually moving out, says Dr. Reynolds.

Give your teen privileges based on their responsibility level. If they're able to show you that they can be trusted with household tasks, you’ll have more confidence that they can handle the responsibility of driving a car or being out with their friends unsupervised. If they do not follow your expectations, then they may lose the privilege until you decide they are ready to try again, suggests Dr. Reynolds. 8

"Identity exploration is also both a social and emotional milestone that occurs during this period of time," says Dr. Reynolds.

While your teen will want to spend the majority of their time with their friends, it’s important to prioritize spending some time together as a family. A monthly family fun night or weekly pizza night might be traditions you decide to keep. Additionally, eat meals together as a family whenever you can. This can be an important way to connect with your teen on an everyday basis. 9

It’s important for your teen to know how to care for their health. Risky behavior can be one of the biggest safety issues for teens, so educate your teen about the dangers they face and take away privileges when your teen makes poor choices. 10

Teens can continue seeing their pediatrician until they are 21. Annual wellness checks are recommended for teenagers. Sports physicals, acne, respiratory infections, asthma, and skin issues are common reasons teens need to see their pediatrician in between annual visits. 11

The pediatrician should check your child’s body mass index, provide counseling on physical activity and nutrition, and provide education on sexually transmitted infections. Sexually active teens may be routinely tested for sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia and gonorrhea, even if they don’t have any symptoms. 11

It’s important to give teens an opportunity to speak with the pediatrician privately. They may have questions about sex, sexuality, STDs, alcohol, drugs, or other sensitive issues that they aren’t comfortable speaking about in front of a parent. 11

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends girls have their first gynecologic visit between the ages of 13 and 15. 12 Additionally, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends teens have their second dose of the Meningococcal vaccine at age 16. 13

Their pediatrician should also screen for mental health issues , such as depression and anxiety. It’s important to bring up any concerns you may have about your teen’s mood or behavior.

The AAP recommends teens receive between 8 and 10 hours of sleep each night. 14 Early school st
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