Tech Giant Unveils "Unplugger" � A Device That Helps You Disconnect (By Tracking You)

In a move that defies logic, tech giant OmniCorp has unveiled its latest product: the "Unplugger," a sleek wristband designed to reduce screen time by monitoring your every move. The $349 device vibrates aggressively if it detects excessive phone usage, but critics point out that it requires constant Bluetooth connectivity, GPS tracking, and a companion app that collects biometric data. "It�s like a nicotine patch that forces you to smoke while wearing it," quipped one reviewer. The Unplugger�s AI "coach" chastises users with passive-aggressive notifications like, "You�ve spent 12 minutes on Instagram. Wouldn�t you rather touch grass?" Meanwhile, privacy advocates are up in arms over the device�s 15-page terms of service, which reportedly includes a clause allowing OmniCorp to sell users� "detox progress" to third-party advertisers. Early adopters are divided�some swear by its effectiveness, while others admit they now spend more time obsessing over their "digital wellness score" than actually disconnecting. The company plans a premium subscription tier that unlocks "advanced unplugging metrics," because nothing says "digital detox" like a monthly fee.