Tease Denied
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Tease Denied
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Chances are, when you're having sex, you want to orgasm — and who could blame you? But often, postponing your pleasure makes it that much more enjoyable, which is the concept behind practicing orgasm denial. As they say, good things come to those who wait (and that pun was absolutely intended).
"Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM, and it involves maintaining arousal without allowing orgasm to follow," Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly , tells Bustle. "Oftentimes, a dominant partner will stimulate their submissive partner to high levels of arousal — even to the brink of orgasm — and then change things up, slow down, or stop to inhibit orgasm."
This can be done with partners of any gender, Laurie Mintz, PhD, sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate , tells Bustle. "It is often best with a partner you know well so you know their signs of arousal and how to best get them there," she says. "On the other hand, the submissive can simply communicate when they are close to orgasm — making it more accessible to newer partners."
Reasons you might want to try orgasm denial include wanting to engage in power play, wanting to have sex for longer than usual, wanting to better enjoy the stages of arousal before orgasm, and wanting to make orgasms more intense . There are actually a number of different ways to engage in orgasm denial. Here are a few methods you can try.
Edging — getting to the brink of orgasm again and again before you finally allow it — is often recommended as a way to make orgasms more intense . Edging and orgasm denial make a natural combination. Each time your partner is getting close, pull back and touch them more gently or somewhere else or not at all, then return and repeat until you decide to let them orgasm. Edging helps "build arousal so that orgasm feels more intense when it finally arrives," Dr. Jess says.
"This can be done in many ways, including having intercourse and then stopping when your partner is close to the edge, having one partner use a vibrator or other sex toy on the other, oral sex, manual stimulation, or some combination," Mintz says.
You can also practice orgasm denial more formally by setting a specific time at which your partner is allowed to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. You can even set a stopwatch so you don't have to be checking the clock. If the goal is to have a lasting experience, this can help ensure that happens.
If you want to play with power, one strategy is to create a code word or signal that, when used, allows your partner to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. This will make your partner feel completely at your mercy if that's what they're craving.
Another way to do orgasm denial is to not completely deny your partner the ability to orgasm but deny them touch on a body part that typically leads them to orgasm, Dr. Jess says. For example, you could avoid touching the penis or the clitoris. Whether or not they’re able to orgasm this way, this can help them enjoy other erogenous zones .
“You might deny orgasm based on specific terms, e.g. you can orgasm only after you [do some particular thing],” Dr. Jess says. For example, you might have them give you oral sex or say something to you. You can decide in advance what these terms are, or you can decide in the moment what your partner needs to do before you let them orgasm (as long as they consent to these conditions).
If you and your partner are interested in exploring the BDSM aspect of orgasm denial, you can use restraints like handcuffs, blindfolds, and ropes to prevent the submissive partner from touching themselves, Mintz says. "It’s also very important to have a conversation before doing this, which should include a 'safe word' (which will allow the submissive to call an end to the action) and a discussion on if an orgasm will eventually be allowed or not," she says.
"Just knowing that you have a partner capable of mastering your body this way can be very arousing, as can knowing you are capable of mastering another person’s body this way," Mintz says. "Some people also find that purposefully delaying orgasm results in stronger, longer, and more mind-shattering orgasms, on both a physical and psychological level."
As always, make sure that everybody consents to everything new that you’re trying. And if it doesn’t go as planned, have a sense of humor about it and embrace the unexpected.
Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?
MLA Style Citation:
Jameson, Sarah "Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?."
Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm? .
22 Apr. 2012 EzineArticles.com.
15 Oct. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083 >.
APA Style Citation:
Jameson, S. (2012, April 22). Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm? .
Retrieved October 15, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083
Chicago Style Citation:
Jameson, Sarah "Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?." Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083
By
Sarah Jameson |
Submitted On April 22, 2012
Tease and denial, or "edging" as it's sometimes called is a mainstay of male chastity.
In brief, it means a man hands over control of his orgasms to his wife or girlfriend, meaning the decision about when, how, where and even if he gets to orgasm is entirely up to her (and we'll come back to "if" in a moment).
What it does not mean, though, is the man is deprived of any sexual pleasure whatsoever, save the vicarious pleasure of pleasuring his beloved. In some relationships the man is kept completely celibate and expresses his sexuality only through his partner's orgasms, but that's a different thing from what I am talking about.
Because with male chastity, the man is definitely kept celibate. On the contrary, couples who practice male chastity typically have more sexual contact rather than less.
No, what it means is the man is taken right to the point of orgasm, but not allowed to go all the way -- this is why it's called "edging", because he's taken to and held on the edge of orgasm.
Now, to most women this would be incomprehensible, especially if they've ever experienced the frustration and even anger most men exhibit when they don't get what they want. But the truth is, many, many men crave this. It goes far beyond the emotional charge of having a woman in control -- we are talking here about men who quite literally love the feeling of needing to orgasm but not being allowed to.
As my husband, John, describes it, " it's like being half-way to orgasm all the time ". I don't profess to fully understand this completely. As a woman, I enjoy my multiple orgasms and cannot imagine any pleasure at all in having them delayed or denied to me (and it does feel terribly selfish to take great pleasure in denying my husband's orgasms, knowing he needs to cum but can't until I allow it).
Which leads us to the inevitable question:
It depends on what you've both agreed and subsequently what you, his partner, decide.
Some couples who practice Tease and Denial have an agreed limit or schedule, and that's fine.
But many more men hand over complete control, meaning they are willing to take the risk their beloved might never let them come at all.
This sounds cruel, but, believe me, it's what many men secretly want. No, not ALL men want it, but in my experience, MOST men who admit to a desire for male chastity have permanent orgasm denial as their ultimate fantasy.
Yes, of course. There is absolutely no reason I am aware of to say any man has to orgasm, ever . There's no compelling medical evidence to say it's harmful, and it's not as if you're forcing this upon him without his consent (he could cheat at any time he liked -- even if you have him locked in a chastity device and hold his key, he can cut it off if he wants to. There is no such thing as a 100% secure male chastity device. Anyone claiming otherwise is a liar).
And not only is it possible and so far as we know harmless, there are many benefits to it, in terms of increased emotional and physical intimacy, better and more frequent sex, the pleasure in hearing your man beg for release he knows he is never going to get, and the satisfaction of living your life knowing your man wants you 24/7.
My personal view, developed over many years of practicing male chastity and orgasm denial with John, is the best and most pleasurable results from tease and orgasm denial come from longer periods of denial rather than shorter ones.
Everyone is different and makes their own choices, but that said whenever I'm asked by readers of my work " how long is best between orgasms? ", I encourage them to aim ultimately for permanent orgasm denial for their man, just as John and I are aiming for it now.
Bottom line : John doesn't need to orgasm for either physical or mental health and our relationship is closer and more fulfilling when he doesn't, and so I can't see any benefit in allowing it.
If that hasn't scared you off from begging your beloved for what you really want, then it's worth your while finding out more about tease and denial... but just be careful what you wish for!
So... click the blue link and claim your FREE male chastity guide and discover the truth about tease and denial.
But HURRY! I'm giving away this Guide today and tomorrow ONLY to anyone who visits my website. So if you're serious about experiencing serious tease and denial , be sure to get it before tomorrow night .
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использует защитную технологию, которая является устаревшей и уязвимой для атаки. Злоумышленник может легко выявить информацию, которая, как вы думали, находится в безопасности.
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