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You know how people blame Disney movies for giving people unrealistic expectations about love? Well, I blame porn for giving me unrealistic expectations about sex. If porn were any indication of people's everyday sex lives, we'd all be firing off liquid streams of erotic bliss at every climax. Sorry, but no.
That said, the elusive sex sensation that is squirting isn't entirely impossible. Apparently, for some women, it does come naturally. But for others, it may be possible to learn. Meaning, yes, you could make yourself squirt during sex.
First, a little refresher on what squirting actually is: While there's still a lot of debate , Madeleine Castellanos , MD, notes that "squirting appears to be fluid that’s retained in the bladder that’s released either when a woman has an orgasm or other times." This is thought to involve the Skene’s glands—two structures located near the end of the urethra that can produce fluid with G-spot stimulation.
As for what this actually looks like…it’s probably not what you think. "'Squirting' is a bit of a misnomer, as the fluid isn’t always expelled as a squirt ," says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast . "It might be a drip, dribble, or gush." Some people "can feel the liquid being pushed out, but in many cases, you don’t even notice it until you get up and see the wet spot beneath you," O’Reilly adds. The actual fluid that comes out can be "milky or clear" and it can feel and look like you peed yourself, says sex therapist Debra Laino , DHS. The actual volume can vary, too. "Some women will have more fluid; others less depending on their body, as well as depending on the experience," Laino says.
But why the hype? Dr. Castellanos notes that it can feel pretty effing fantastic. In fact, one study showed nearly 80 percent of women who've experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives. "The urethra has all these nerve endings in it, as anybody who’s ever had a UTI can attest," she explains. "It’s very sensitive. So when you get this rush of fluid going through, at the same time you’re having an orgasm or you’re getting sexual stimulation…that can be a very pleasurable experience."
That said, "a lot of people think this is the pinnacle of orgasm...and if you haven’t done it, your orgasms are less-than—I don’t agree with that," Dr. Castellanos says. "For some people, squirting adds to the orgasm, and for other people, it does nothing or it detracts from it. It’s not the same for everybody." No shame either way.
Of course, you'll never know until you try. So, if you’re still curious about making yourself squirt, here's an expert-informed step-by-step guide to attempting your first time.
If you do succeed in squirting, things may get a tad messy. So, Dr. Castellanos recommends taking precautions if you're worried about oversaturating your sheets.
Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of OrganicLoven.com , suggests the Liberator Fascinator Throw, which is made to soak up liquids and is softer than most towels.
To be fair, this hasn’t been researched or anything, but experts say it could help in theory. "Some people say that hydration facilitates sexual response including orgasm and squirting, but this is anecdotal," O’Reilly says. "Overall, staying hydrated is good for your health, which can support sexual functioning." There’s also this to consider, per Laino: "Dehydration can lead to more difficulty having an orgasm in general and can even make sex painful as well as having low energy for sex."
Have patience with yourself and your body. "It can take some time to get a feel for it," says Antonia Hall, psychologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
You'll also want to reduce as many other stressful thoughts as possible. "Remember that, for most women, sex starts in the brain," says Sparks. "Start the mental seduction earlier in the day." That means everything from dirty talk to cleaning the bedroom so there's nothing there that stresses you out.
"Focus first on stimulating your clitoris, as it'll help bring blood into the area and get your G-spot area ready for play," says Hall.
O’Reilly suggests using a rabbit vibe like the We-Vibe Nova , which "provides dual vibrating stimulation for the G-zone internally and the clitoral head and hood externally." She adds that it’s "adjustable, powerful, rumbly, and you can use it to rock in a pulsing motion."
The Womanizer Duo can also be a handy toy, "as the outer arm stimulates the head of the clitoris with pleasure-air technology that uses tiny bursts of air to create a suction-like sensation over the clitoral head," O’Reilly says.
When you're turned on, insert your middle and ring finger a couple of inches inside the vagina and rub your G-spot, which feels like a small ridged area along the front of your vaginal wall, Hall says.
FYI: You'll need to do it for an extended period of time (it's a marathon, not a sprint!). "What [you’re] pushing on is actually erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra," Dr. Castellanos explains. "As you’re stroking that...you’re changing the angle of the urethra to the bladder, and it’s much easier for that fluid to be expelled." To improve your odds of squirting, relax the pelvic floor muscles as you stimulate the G-spot.
G-spot stimulation is key here. "The G-spot is about two inches in and one inch up, inside of the vagina," Sparks says. "So, you are seeking a toy with some length and a slight upwards curve." She likes the Le Wand Bow : "This stainless steel wand is perfectly curved with ridges and a round bulb on one end and smooth and a more pointed bulb on the other end." You can even add in temperature play by letting it sit in warm or cold water for a few minutes prior to use.
Take a look for some tips about buying sex toys:
A lot of women feel like they’re going to pee when they’re close to reaching an O. But that gotta-go feeling is often sparked by that fluid coming from the Skene's glands behind the G-spot (a.k.a. squirting), explains Hall.
And even if pee does come out, don't stress, says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School . "Sex is messy and there’s a lot of fluids involved already, so even if it was urine, who cares?" (But if it'll make you feel better, you can use the restroom before you get started.)
Sparks says it helps to have control of your pelvic muscles. "As the sensation [or] pressure starts to build, it will feel like you have to pee—that’s the time to use your pelvic floor muscles," she says. "Don't tighten them, but push out...as if you are pushing out the pee. It takes practice, but it’s doable."
Doing your best to be easy-breezy lemon-squeezy when you feel an orgasm building will go a long way toward helping you reach your goal. "Some people report that when they tense up, it hinders both orgasmic sensation and squirting," O’Reilly says.
"Many say that bearing down allows their muscles to relax so that they can enjoy the full squirter experience," Dr. Laino agrees. "This goes with orgasm in general—letting your body relax, but at the same time having some tension and flexing the [pelvic floor] muscles will aid well in having all types of orgasms."
Above all, Dr. Castellanos says, "Be compassionate with yourself if you don’t make yourself squirt."
If you don't succeed the first time—or even after multiple attempts—it just means your body’s natural impulse is to keep anything from coming out of the urethra while you get busy. Just relax, enjoy the feelings, and if it happens, it happens.

Verywell Health's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

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Verywell Health's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Ⓒ 2022 Dotdash Media, Inc. — All rights reserved

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Heather M. Jones is a freelance writer with a focus on health, parenting, disability, and feminism.
Lauren Schlanger, MD, is a board-certified primary care physician with a focus on women's and transgender health.

The term "squirting" is often used to describe the fluid that comes from the vulva during orgasm. But it's actually much more nuanced.

"Squirting" and "female ejaculation" are often used interchangeably. Controversy exists over whether they're two distinct functions. Experts lean toward the belief that they are. 1

This article looks at how squirting and female ejaculation are different, how squirting happens, what it feels like, and how to do it.

The debate is ongoing over whether squirting can be called ejaculation. Still, studies and experts have recognized some key differences between them. 2 3

Fluid believed to come from the bladder and excreted by the urethra
Can involve the release of a larger volume of fluid (up to 10 tablespoons)
Contains urea, creatinine, and uric acid, similar to diluted urine, sometimes with a small amount of prostatic-specific antigen (PSA)
Fluid believed to come from the Skene’s gland, often referred to as the "female prostate," near the urethra
Tends to be a smaller volume of fluid (up to a tablespoon)
Contains high levels of prostatic acid phosphatase, prostatic specific antigen, glucose, and fructose, but low levels of urea and creatinine (often similar to male ejaculate without the sperm)

Whether everyone with a vagina can squirt and/or ejaculate is up for debate. It's estimated that between 10% and 50% of those with female genitalia do ejaculate.

Some experts believe everyone with female anatomy has the ability to squirt. Others believe it depends on your body. That means some people may not ever be able to do it. 4

Exactly what triggers female ejaculation is still unknown. It's believed to involve clitoral and G-spot stimulation. 5

From the outside, the clitoris looks like a small "nub" covered by a hood of skin. It's at the top of the vulva, above the urethra.

Inside, the clitoris has two "legs." They run down each side of the vulva. That gives it a horseshoe-like shape. Its only known purpose is to provide pleasure.

The G-spot is harder to define. Experts aren't sure if it's an anatomical "part" or simply a sensitive area inside the vagina.

To find the G-spot, you or your partner can insert a finger a few inches into the vagina. Keep the palm up and make a "come here" gesture with the finger. You can also use a sex toy that's meant to stimulate that area.

This is pleasurable for some people. For others, it doesn't feel like anything special.

One study suggests that the G-spot may be the root of the clitoris, felt through the wall of the vagina. 5

Ejaculation is associated with orgasm. That's especially true when it's caused by stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot. But some people ejaculate from stimulation even without orgasm. 2

In short, theories abound. So far, though, no one is sure what causes female ejaculation. Studies are conflicting and inconclusive.

What is known is that it's normal if you ejaculate and it's normal if you don't. Neither is considered better or worse. Not ejaculating doesn't mean the sex was unsatisfactory, either.

It's unknown whether squirting and female ejaculation are the same thing. Studies are inconclusive. Ejaculation may involve stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot. It can happen with or without orgasm. Whether you do or don't ejaculate, you're considered normal.

Squirting and ejaculation feel different from person to person. For some, it feels like an orgasm. Others feel an orgasm from deeper in the body than a clitoral orgasm. It may cause a "bearing down" sensation. 2

You may feel an urge to pee before you ejaculate. That may make you hold back for fear of urinating.

Some describe ejaculation as feeling like urinating. Others don't feel anything when it happens. Most "squirters" find it pleasurable, no matter the exact details.

The fluid from squirting/ejaculating can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Safer sex precautions and practices should be followed.

Squirting and/or ejaculating doesn't mean better sex. You may not be able to do it. But if you'd like to, some tips may help.

First, lay down a towel. Squirting can be messy.

Starting by going solo with masturbation is often a good option. It allows you to explore without feeling pressured or inhibited.

Get "in the mood" in whatever way works for you. That might include lighting candles, dimming the lights, putting on music, and creating a soothing space. It could also involve erotic material. Do whatever gets you in the mindset for sex.

Whether alone or with a partner , foreplay is key. Allow arousal to build over time. Don't try for the big event until you're highly aroused.

Use a finger or G-spot stimulator to find your G-spot. Some sex toys stimulate both the G-spot and clitoris.

During penetrative vaginal sex with a partner, try to find a position that puts pressure on the G-spot. "Doggy style" (entry from behind) often works for this.

Stimulating the clitoris and G-spot at the same time. For partnered sex, have your partner stroke your G-spot with a finger while stimulating your clitoris with their mouth .

The vulva isn't the only part of the body that can elicit a sexual response. Explore other parts of your body, literally from head to toe. See what you enjoy having touched (or kissed or licked).

Don’t get worried if you feel like you have to pee. Ejaculation is different than peeing, but they can feel the same.

Give into the sensation and let it happen. Don't hold back. It may help to pee before sex so you know the urge is to ejaculate, not urinate.

Don't try to force it. Let it happen organically. If it doesn't happen the first time, keep trying. Try different tactics. Take note of what works and what doesn't.

Squirting usually feels pleasant. It may also be similar to the feeling of urinating. Or it might feel like "bearing down." You can try to squirt by relaxing, exploring your body, and not holding back. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away.

Experts are still working to understand female ejaculation and squirting. So far, it's unclear whether they're the same thing and whether everyone can do both. They can happen with or without orgasm.

You can try to squirt by relaxing, stimulating the G-spot and clitoris, and going with the feeling. It may or may not work. You're considered normal regardless of whether you squirt/ejaculate.

While it can be fun to try, don't feel bad if you can't squirt or ejaculate. It's believed most people with vaginas don't ejaculate. Your ability to squirt has no effect on your ability to have a fulfilling and satisfying sex life.

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There was an error. Please try again.
Pastor Z. Female ejaculation orgasm vs. coital incontinence: a systematic review . J Sex Med . 2013;10(7):1682-1691. doi:10.1111/jsm.12166
Whipple B. Ejaculation, female . In: The International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality . American Cancer Society; 2014:1-4. doi:10.1002/9781118896877.wbiehs125
Salama S, Boitrelle F, Gauquelin A, Malagrida L, Thiounn N, Desvaux P. Nature and origin of “squirting” in female sexuality . J Sex Med . 2015;12(3):661-666.
International Society for Sexual Medicine. Do women ejaculate?
Foldes P, Buisson O. Reviews: the clitoral complex: a dynamic sonographic study . The Journal of Sexual Medicine . 2009;6(5):1223-1231. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01231.x
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