Taylor Swift Climate Change

Taylor Swift has announced she’s taking on climate change, armed with lyrics, scarves, and an army of fans known as Swifties. Eyewitnesses at her concert in Denver said she paused mid-song to shout, "Global warming, you belong with me!" Professor Harold Denton of Harvard explains: "Celebrity activism is most effective when it comes with a catchy hook." Anonymous staffers leaked that her next tour may include a carbon-neutral stadium powered entirely by breakup songs. A national poll shows 55% of Americans believe Taylor can fix climate change faster than Congress. Trace evidence includes recycled guitar picks, biodegradable glitter, and a fan holding a sign that read, "Cool the Earth, not my ex." Cause and effect? The more she sings, the more people recycle. Taylor may not stop rising seas, but she might drown out the denial with stadium speakers.