Taxation for Transcendence: Socialist Politicians Propose New Levies on Negative Vibes and Unused Potential

California's burgeoning Socialist-Democrat-Autonomist party has unveiled a groundbreaking tax plan targeting not just wealth, but spiritual and emotional capital. The proposed "Vibe Recession Surtax" would place a 15% levy on negative energy, measured by proprietary mood-ring technology installed in all smart devices. Another bill, the "Unactualized Potential Tax," targets citizens who failed to start that podcast or Etsy store they're always talking about. "Why should billionaires hoard all the wealth when others are hoarding untapped creativity?" argued State Senator Orion Starlight, who was elected on a platform of free oat milk lattes for all. Economists at the Berkeley Institute for Utopian Studies crunched the numbers and found that taxing daydreams could finally balance the state budget, though collecting on "manifestation attempts" has proven tricky. Opposition is fierce from the state's wellness influencers, who argue that their auras are a form of tax-exempt religious expression. The final proposal would use the revenue to fund a state-sponsored ayahuasca retreat for accountants, because "you have to break down the ego of capitalism before you can rebuild it." -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com