Tasks For Submissive

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Tasks For Submissive

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I’m a stickler for structure. I feel I’m at my best when I have responsibilities and expectations to follow. Rules and tasks provide the framework that I crave. So let’s discuss what they are and why I feel they are important.
Rules in BDSM are a list of expectations that, once agreed on, should be done when specified without prompting. Rules should be negotiated and discussed before they are carried out. 
When giving rules in a new dynamic, I recommend giving a few at a time. Build up the rules list slowly, instead of enforcing a whole list of unfamiliar rules all at once. Enforcing many rules at once can set the submissive up for failure and establish a feeling of discouragement from the start.
Rules provide structure. They also establish power exchange and set responsibilities and expectations.
Absolutely. You can’t write down everything that is expected. Some things are a given, like showing respect from both sides of the slash.
However, if an unwritten rule is broken, don’t assume the submissive knows what the rule is. Communicate, and use discipline as your means of correction, not punishment.
Rules can and do change. Life happens, and situations occur. A new job, new family member, health complications, living arrangements, etc. can all contribute to a need for rules to change. Or quite possibly it’s as simple as a rule not working like it should for a change to be made.
For any instance when a rule changes or a major life situation occurs, renegotiate. Renegotiations help make sure everyone is on the same page, and expectations align. Even without a major change, rules should be renegotiated. For a new dynamic, I recommend renegotiating every three months for the first year. After that, once a year, unless a major life change occurs.
Tasks are something given to a submissive to do or to complete. The most important thing about tasks is they should have a purpose. Don’t just give a task to give a task. If a task feels like “busy work,” the sub is more likely to slack on the task. Task progress or completion should always be communicated. Whether your style is self-reporting or check-ins , always follow up and make sure the tasks are done or are progressing.
A rule is something that is negotiated and given to a submissive. Rules, once in place, are recurring. They should be followed, and are expected to be done, usually without prompts.
When a task is given and completed, it doesn’t need to be continued. Once complete, the task is over. (unless it is given again) They are not recurring. Tasks do not need to be negotiated, but safewords should be discussed and ready to be used if needed.
Any time the Dominant wants the submissive focusing on something, a task is a great way to implement that focus. Be creative. When it comes to tasks, the only limit is your imagination.
Tasks can also be used when a Dominant is busy or working or on vacation. They are super helpful when the Dominant is short on availability and time, but the submissive is not. Instead of the submissive waiting around until the Dominant is available, a task can be given for the submissive to focus on when the Dominant can’t be present. By using tasks in this way, the submissive can submit and focus on the Dominant even when the Dom is busy.
Tasks can be given daily, weekly, or when needed. Structure them around the wants or needs of your dynamic.
There are. I have come to the conclusion that there are eleven different categories of rules and tasks. The examples I have included are not mandatory, nor are they the only examples for each category. Some examples may work better as tasks, whereas some may work better as rules. But the categories can be used to come up with both rules and tasks.
Rules and tasks are the essence of a power exchange dynamic. They are what keeps it running smoothly. Tasks typically are underutilized. They are a great tool to help redirect focus and establish the submissive’s mindset. Communicate, negotiate, and be creative. You may be surprised by what you come up with. Be kinky, and stay curious!
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When you’re working full time in a professional field, the desire to submit can be impeded by a good number of obstacles. As a submissive who balances my full-time employment with my submissive role, one of my chief concerns will always be finding a way to please my dominant while maintaining a strong professional image outside of the home. Because of the latter portion of my responsibilities, I was hesitant in wanting to explore the D/s dynamic. The last thing that I wanted was to have to give up my job—likewise, however, I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to explore a budding interest because of my work environment. Regardless, it was difficult to find any information about balancing my professional life with my submissive desires, so this article is dedicated to the people who, like me, wish to explore the D/s relationship dynamic and continue to work in the professional world.

My submissive journey began a little stranger than most. My partner and I had known each other for about two years and had been dating long distance for a little over a year Neither of us has been in a serious relationship before and as we had not yet met outside of Skype video calls, we were very slowly feeling our way around our commitment to each other. It had come out in the past that both of us had at least some interest in the D/s dynamic—or at the very least in some elements of BDSM, and as the date that we’d set for our first meeting crept closer, I began to play with the ideology of using D/s to bring our relationship into a physical plane. Having only a vague notion of what D/s is, I approached my partner with the idea that she could make up rules for me to follow throughout the day that would (I had hoped) make me feel closer to her on a physical level. The trouble was that I had no idea what sort of rules I was actually after; add to that my full-time job as a high school teacher and the fact that I live a long way from my partner, my lifestyle didn’t seem to be very conducive for committing myself to rules.

My partner did a wonderful job scouring the internet for ideas of rules to give me, but in the end, it seemed that a lot of rules she found were for 24/7 slaves or submissives, and this was neither realistic for us nor something I was ready to commit to without some serious consideration and reflection on whether or not I could enjoy submitting on a smaller scale. After a lot of consideration on my partner’s part, I was given five very easy rules to integrate into my daily routine. I have incorporated them into this article so that you can see how, although intimate, these rules aren’t obtrusive or overbearing. They are copied and pasted directly from the document that my partner gave me, so they’re written from her to me:

NO toys/brush without permission. (Hands are ok).

As I mentioned, the nice thing about the ruleset was that it allowed me a lot of leeways while I decided whether or not I could be happy following instructions. It also consisted of rules that I could follow on the days that I worked as well as the days that I was at home.

After following my rules for several weeks I had come to the decision that I enjoyed following the directions that I’d been given and I wouldn’t mind giving her more control over my daily routines and habits. At her encouragement, I developed a list of things that I would be willing to do in order to please her. Sadly I no longer have the original list because as time passed, certain rules took precedence, others fell away entirely, and many modified or morphed into something else. The one aspect that has remained is that there are always conditions or clauses in my rules that allow for the fact that I do have to exist in the world outside of my own home. Below I have placed the current set of rules that I follow. Because these are based on the “I am Willing to…” list that I made for my dominant a while back, they are written from me to her. I realize this is marginally backward, but being allowed to maintain my list of rules as such allows me to refresh my memory of each of my active rules whenever a new habit between us develops, and it’s a good reminder that I wholeheartedly agree to follow each rule (otherwise it wouldn’t have made it onto the list!).

I will adhere to any preferences that you have regarding the jewelry I wear.

During the day, if I wish to change clothing or take an item off, I must ask permission to do so.

I will ask you if you have any preferences regarding what color I paint my nails before I paint them.

Condition 3. In the event that the task is sexual in nature and I am on my period, I may request to postpone the task until such time that I am comfortable performing it.

If I wish to buy a new toy, I will make arrangements to sit down with you so that we can pick one out together.

This list is probably one of the more lively documents on my computer. I look at it often and I made sure that it’s as up to date as possible, so it’s constantly changing to fit our habits or needs. As such, it’s important to remember when looking at these rules they are based entirely off of what both my Dominant and I enjoy and what we feel we need in order to make our relationship as fulfilling as possible while still taking into account certain restrictions that holding a full-time job has on what I can do.

If you are interested in using either my first set of rules or my living set as an outline for a pitch to your partner, you’re more than welcome to.
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Here are some easy things you can do instead to please me aka submissive tasks:
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4. Good at graphics design? Create some stuff for me!
5. Good at writing? Contact me for writing tasks!
6. Search for my pirated content and email me links
7. Post on forums about me with links to my stores & pics
8. Write a poem for me or daily mantra & share!
9. Send me pictures of yourself w/ my name written on you or pics of you kneeling while watching my clips!
10. Send me clip ideas (that fit the type of clips I already film) for the general public to my email
Anything is better than nothing! This goes for all subs and applies to all Dommes they serve.
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  One of the most important aspects of being a good Dominant is learning how to train your submissive effectively. This can be challenging, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Here are some tips to get you started:
  Reward good behaviour. When your submissive does something that you like, be sure to reward them with positive reinforcement(the things they actually like). This will help them to continue behaving in the way you want them to.
  Use (real) punishment sparingly. It’s important to use punishment sparingly, as it can often be counterproductive. When you do need to punish your submissive, make sure that it’s appropriate and fair. (something they actually don't like). Avoid silence and avoidant behaviors, or anything passive aggressive, always make sure your sub knows what the punishment is, how long its going to last and exactly what they did to get it. Writing lines is one of my personal favorites. Second is the “time out”
  Establish rules and limits and routines. One of the best ways to train your submissive is to establish rules and limits. This will help them to know what is expected of them, and it will also make them feel safe and secure. When it comes to relationships, structured behaviour is key. Whether its work or romance, having a set routine and plan is important to keeping things on track. Having structured behaviour helps to minimize stress, confusion and misunderstandings. This is especially true in the early stages of any relationship when both parties are still getting to know each other. And the “getting to know” phase in D/s and “high tension” relationships is never really over, and that is one of the things which makes the whole thing pretty enjoyable.
  Be consistent. One of the most important things to remember when training your submissive is to be consistent. If you don’t stick to your rules, they won’t know what to expect and they’ll be less likely to follow you. As a Dom inconsistency and being wishywashy, will make you look weak, so make sure there is a solid plan in place, and everyone knows more less what that plan is, or atleast what its results should be, in my own D/s relationship I rarely reveal my whole plan, but I make sure my sub “feels” there is one. Tension with certainty and some mystery is a delicious combination.
 Be patient. It takes time and patience to train a submissive effectively. Don’t expect miracles overnight – it may take several training sessions to get good solid results. Over coming shyness and inhibitions in someone is work and there are often good reasons why those complexes are there in your partner and in all honesty, you might not be happy if they weren't there in the first place. In my own example my submissive has always been very proper, reserved, restrained,
with a sort of upper class mentality, but there are times when all that needs to go out the door, and times when it all needs to come back. So patience and understanding is key, goor or bad every part of a person can be a powerful resource.
  Now to get down to the fun and more specific things, a good place to start is with dress and appearance. A submissive should always try to look their best when in the presence of their Dominant. This may include wearing latex or velvet garments, certain colors, certain uniforms, a collar or various symbolic items, or using specific perfume. It’s important to discuss these things beforehand so that both parties are happy with the outcome. Forms of address are important in getting started as well, how do you both want to be addressed, should you be “Sir” in the house “Master” in the bedroom, and Honey in the shopping mall or at the grocery store, or shall it be “Master” all day everyday, no matter what?Every form of address has with it certain conotations, and certain colors of meaning. When you use the right form of address for the person you are speaking to at the ri
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