Tantric Love Techniques
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Tantric Love Techniques
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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Get closer to your partner than ever before.
So, you and your partner have done your research on tantric sex , and have decided you want to try some tantric sex positions in the bedroom. (If you don’t have any idea what Tantra is, you might want to read the Men’s Health explainer on tantric sex before you proceed!)
Need a little refresher? “Tantric sex is a system of combining breath, sound, movement and focus to create longer, more intense orgasms, more intimacy, deeper connection, altered states of reality and transcendent experiences during sex,” says Sarrah Rose, founder of the sex coaching platform Tantric Activation . That’s why Tantra is a way of having better sex, no matter what position you’re in, Rose explains.
Now, many people confuse Tantra and the Kama Sutra —but they're different. “The Kama Sutra teaches advanced sex positions and Tantra can give you ways to move and expand your energy when you're in those positions to make them feel even better,” Rose says.“With all tantric sex positions , use a connected inhale and exhale and take deep breaths in and out to activate your nervous system and create a flow state.” This can help “quiet the mind” so you can be more present. “Use your focus to expand the sensations in you and your partner’s body,” Rose says.
Even though Tantra is more focused on the way in which you have sex, rather than specific sexual positions, there are few configurations that are more commonly used in Tantra. Here are some great tantric sex positions to try with your partner!
How to do it: In this position, the insertive partner lies on their back. The receptive partner squats over the penis-owner, with their feet flat on the ground. In essence, it’s cowgirl position .
What it’s great for: “You can easily keep eye contact and the person on bottom can lay back and enjoy the gorgeous goddess that's riding them,” Rose says. “By inhaling in and out of your mouths with a connected breath, you can get into a primal, ecstatic flow.”
How to do it: The insertive partner lays on their back and has range to lift and lower their pelvis similar to a bridge pose in yoga. The vulva-owner rides their partner and can be in a dominant position of “swinging,” hence the name.
What it’s great for: “This is ideal for the partner on top to feel in control,” says Candice Leigh , Tantra coach and founder of Naked Yoga Therapy . “The person riding can control penetration depth and speed while also stimulating their own clitoris.”
How to do it: The receptive partner lays down with their legs in the penetrative partner’s hands. Penetrative partner is on their knees and directs themselves inside the receiving partner. (A pillow or sex wedge under the receptive partner’s hip can be helpful for this position!)
What it’s great for: This position is great for a number of reasons including, “anal sex, deep vaginal penetration, creating more space in the vulva, self-clitoral stimulation, great vantage points from both partners, eye contact, and shared breath,” says Leigh.
How to do it: This position is similar to Yab Yum, but the couple isn’t as close to one another. The lovers' legs are entwined in “V” shapes, sitting across from one another. Each partner has their hand on their partner’s ankles for leverage and stability.
What it’s great for: This position is perfect for “a more shallow and subtle penetration, eye contact, intimate whispers, full-body view of one another, deep emotional intimacy, sharing breath, and foreplay,” Leigh says.
How to do it: The Tiger is a slight variation of the spooning position. There’s more space between the insertive partner’s chest and the receptive partner’s back. To get into this position, lie down next to one another—both of you on your sides.
What it’s great for: “It’s a tantric sex position that requires a bit less energy and stamina than others. Slow and deep thrusts are great for this position,” Leigh says.
How to do it: To enter this position, the insertive partner (person penetrating) will sit down with their legs crossed. The receptive partner (person being penetrated) will sit on their partner’s lap with their legs straddling their partner. From here, the insertive partner can put their penis into their partner’s vagina, and hold each other while rocking back and forth.
What it’s great for: “This is a classic tantric sex position that shows up over and over, and it's as good as its hype,” Rose says. “It's often used in images of tantric gods and goddesses that show them in a tantric embrace.” She continues, “This position is amazing because it's close and intimate and you can do the tantric practice of eye gazing, and being close makes it easy to synchronize breath.”
How to do it: The receptive partner will lay on their stomach with a pillow under their hips to raise them. Their legs will be straight and slightly spread with their arms in front or by their sides. The insertive partner will lay on top of their partner, resting their forearms on the bed to prop themselves up slightly.
What it’s great for: You can play with the bottom’s hip positioning to find the optimal angle to hit the spot, Rose explains. “You can feel the front of the top’s heart connecting to the back of bottom’s, and both partners can inhale and exhale out of their hearts and focus their energy there for extra connection,” she says.
How to get into the position: It’s missionary , you guys. You know what to do. One partner lies on their back while the top partner inserts themselves.
What it’s great for: “Begin by looking into each other's eyes; inhale and exhale together at the same time,” says Rose. “As you start to feel the sexual energy moving through your bodies, inhale that energy up your spine and into your brain and out through the point between your brows,” she says.
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Tantric kissing is a great way to bring intimacy into the bedroom. It helps couples focus on more than just the physical aspect of lovemaking. The tantric method preaches communication, balance, and restraints. Adding tantric kissing to your routine is very easy. It only involves a few simple techniques and principles which are easy to master.
14 great tantric kissing techniques you should be practicing now:
This involves you and your partner working in synchrony. Hold each other in your favorite tantric position and look into one another’s eyes. Allow Lingam and Yoni barely to graze. While staring into each other’s eyes and with your mouths slightly open, breathe in tandem. Inhale and exhale some air slowly, letting your breaths and your souls synchronize.
This works best in the Yab-Yum position. You will gently kiss each other on the brow, transferring love into your partner. While you press your lips to their forehead, whisper words of love and adoration. Then with your eyes closed, slowly push your brows together. Synchronize your breathing and feel the love pass between your minds.
This is done in the intercourse position, with Lingam and Yoni in a full union. Lock gazes together and slowly synchronize your breathing. Lean in and kiss, maintain sustained contact throughout, and feel the flow of energy between your bodies. This technique is exceptionally stimulating, so make sure you control your rhythm and don’t get too excited.
This is best done in the Yab-Yum position. Take turns alternating between soft and deep kisses. Close your eyes and kiss gently for 2 minutes. Separate and breathe in the tandem while gazing into each other’s eyes. Lock lips again, but this time kiss more deeply. Separate and repeat the process until you feel your souls weaving as one in a back and forth motion.
Though this might sound odd, not all kissing techniques involve the lips. Nuzzling is a great way to build intimacy between partners. Sit or lay across from each other and use the tip of your nose to caress your partner gently. Rub them gently on their lips, nose, and neck. Caress them gently throughout the entire process.
This technique is incredibly enticing. Run the tip of your tongue over the shape of your partner’s lips. Alternate these with gentle kisses. Don’t be shy to go beyond their mouths. Explore their face and even their body. Discover the areas that they enjoy the most. The tantric technique is about discovering yourself and your partner, so feel free to explore.
One of the tenets of the tantric method has to do with you, involving all your senses in the process. Humming is a great way to engage your sense of vibration and hearing. Hum gently into each other’s lips. You can hum your favorite song or a soothing mantra. Make sure you vibrate in synchrony and let the experience connect your souls.
This is an incredibly stimulating technique, so it should be done cautiously to avoid overwhelming your partner. Alternate between soft and deep kisses. During the deep kisses, take your partner’s tongue into your mouth and gently suck on it. Switch between sucking slowly and quickly. Run your tongue against theirs and feel them shudder with pleasure.
This is a yummy way to involve your sense of taste. Use some of your favorite flavors of chocolate. Take in the scent of the candy. Feel your salivary glands awaken without even tasting the treat. Put a piece on your tongue and let it melt. Then slowly kiss your partner, allowing them to share in the love. If you have a chocolate allergy or prefer another treat, it’s okay; almost anything can work with this method.
The lower lip of a man is believed to be connected to the eye of his penis. By carefully stimulating this region, you can heighten Lingam to the highest point of arousal. Run your tongue against his, pull his lips within your teeth, and suck on it gently. Tread the steps gently all the way so that you won’t push him over the edge with pleasure.
According to tantric tradition, the upper lip is one of the centers of female sexuality. It is directly connected to your partner’s clitoris, the central zone of female sexuality, the pinnacle of Yoni. By gently nibbling and sucking on her upper lip, you can directly stimulate her clitoral region. This should be used with care as it is the ultimate form of kissing.
This is a great way to stimulate the senses. Alternate between warm and cold kisses all over your partner. Kiss your lover warmly on all their favorite spots. Breathe hotly over the area to warm it up. Then sharply stimulate them by rapidly cooling those body parts. This could be done by merely placing an ice cube against your lips and then kissing your lover over those same spots.
This may feel a little bit strange at first due to its invasive nature, but after some time, it becomes a real thrill. Run your tongue lightly along the edge of your partner’s teeth and then gently probe deeper into their mouth. Use your tongue to explore every nook and cranny of their being. Graze your teeth lightly over their skin, and watch them shudder under your touch.
This is one of the most beautiful techniques on the list. An affirmation kissing is a highly sensual way of whispering words of love to each other. Sit in the Yab-Yum position and lock gazes for a few minutes. Then gently lock lips and whisper words of love and encouragement to each other. Affirm the importance of your existence to one another and entwine your souls with sounds of love.
Tantric kissing is a great way to spice things up. Lock gazes, speak words of endearment and let love lead the way as you make two souls become one.
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